Quarian with a Shotgun
by bofomania
Summary: 'Back to basics' collection of mostly behind-the-scenes episodes centered on Tali and her interactions with the crew of the Normandy SR1. Trying to be original while respecting canon story & lore (as much as possible). POV will vary: mostly other than Tali's, never Shepard's. No romance, but occasional hints at some Tali/Shepard 'chemistry.'
1. Checking In

**Quarian with a Shotgun**

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**Note pertaining specifically to this chapter**

Barely named Spectre, Shepard is already beset with administrative worries. Taking command of the Normandy certainly is a good thing for his mission, but the privilege comes with strings attached and lots of paperwork, both with the Citadel and the Alliance. Too busy to do it himself, he asked a very reluctant Chief Williams to introduce Garrus, Wrex and Tali to the ship and its Alliance crew…

Yes, Ashley is not in her best mood here. But hang-on... I can guarantee she gets better later on in the story.

A rather hefty author's note is appended at the end of this first chapter, if you're interested.

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**Chapter 1: Checking in.**

_Ugh_… For what must have been the fifteenth time, Ashley was considering the aliens following her. She had stopped at the end of the row of sleeper pods on the crew deck and was watching them as they slowly caught up with her. _Like a circus parade… and I'm with the freak show_. First, there was the turian – she could not think of him as anything but 'the enemy' – walking rigidly, the despicable beady eyes in his hybrid bird and dinosaur head darting here and there, _watching_. Then there was the hulking giant lizard, showing no emotion and saying even less… She knew it was stupid, but she could not suppress a feeling of dread at the sight of the krogan, as if he could launch into senseless violence at any moment. She actually had to will her hand away from the reassuring pistol holstered at her hip. Then, last and slowest, almost bouncing around as she looked at everything, reminding her of a kid in a candy store, was the quarian. _Must be seeing lots of stuff to grab… Aren't all quarians supposed to be filthy thieves or something?_

_Why me…_ For what must have been the fifteenth time, Ashley sighed. A soldier through and through however, she knew better than to dwell on orders. But still… it was hard for her not to resent the fact that the commander could have asked Kaidan to give these aliens the tour… Lieutenant Alenko didn't seem to mind being with aliens, she thought. _Even better, the commander could have left them on the Citadel_. Looking at them as they gathered in front of her, she considered again the fact that, not only were they aliens, but they were civilians too. _What's the idea, bringing people like that on a military ship…_ But Commander Shepard wanted it this way… and she knew her duty.

She sighed again. _Just get through with it, soldier._ Maybe she would discuss the matter with him later, if a less formal opportunity presented itself. _Less formal…_ It lasted less than a second - she quashed the image almost as soon as it came into focus in her mind – but she could not deny having imagined the commander's shapely ass in his tight uniform… _Ugh, let's not go there_.

The three aliens were now arrayed in front of her, waiting for what would obviously be another set of explanations. She put her right hand on the cover of a nearby empty pod and started. "These are standard Alliance issued sleeper pods. I'm sure you…" she pointed in turn at the turian and the quarian "…can use them too. The temperature and humidity can be adjusted to your needs, and you'll see other functionalities if you do a bit of exploration." While she had been talking, the quarian had approached the control board of one of pods and started playing around the haptic menus. She continued, ignoring the alien's apparent lack of attention. "Using the ship's system, as Pressly showed you when we were on the command deck, you can check for available pods and even make a reservation… They're really quite simple and you'll quickly get used to them."

Ashley turned to the krogan "Obviously, you won't fit in those… so we'll have to find something else for you…" Wrex just snorted, as if these matters were beneath him. She sighed, glancing at the quarian, still playing with the control board. _At least the lizard seems to listen a bit…_

Apparently satisfied with her fiddling, the quarian approached her "Everything is so new… It's incredible! I don't know when was the last time a quarian stepped on a new ship… All we have on the flotilla are pieces of junk nobody else wants. But these pods…"

_Ugh… There she goes again…_ Ashley was not interested in the least in the trivia this "girl" was spewing about her alien home or fleet or whatever. Despite the accent and the flashing light of her helmet's mouthpiece, the quarian almost reminded her of Sarah, her youngest and most annoying sister, with the way she was going on and on… _As if what she has to say is important or interesting_… Signaling them to start moving, Ashley took the lead and cut the quarian off as soon as the latter paused for breath, saying "That's all very interesting, really… but we don't have much time and I have to explain how to get your food in the mess hall…" _And to not make a mess of it_, she thought as she glanced at the krogan's huge and toothy mouth.

* * *

"No, for us…" Ashley gestured with her right arm to indicate the ship and her fellow humans but, as she looked around – they were now standing close to her workbench in the cargo hold - she suddenly felt quite alone in the company of the three aliens. She could see only one other human - the Requisitions Officer - and he was at the opposite end of the large room, near one of the doorways to engineering. She looked back at the quarian – Tali, she reminded herself – and tried again to answer her question. "Um… I mean for humans… the title of Captain can be used loosely in many situations to indicate a leader or the person in charge of a vehicle… But it's also a military rank in the Alliance, and then it's not necessarily related to being in charge of a ship."

Obviously, the explanation was not entirely clear as Tali just stared back at her without moving. Glancing at the two others, Ashley noticed they were also looking back at her, waiting for an elaboration.

"This ship here…" She emphatically pointed an index toward the floor as she looked successively in the eyes of each of the three aliens in front of her, her voice taking more volume and authority as she realized the importance of what she was going to say "…is an Alliance military ship, so… Alliance military ranks are in use. As for Commander Shepard, he is the chief officer in charge of this ship and of the mission… but he has not yet been promoted to the Alliance military rank of Captain. So… to facilitate your interactions with the people aboard this ship, you should familiarize yourself with the Alliance ranking system."

Ashley smirked, satisfied at seeing her 'drill sergeant act' have some effect on the three others. They nodded to her and did seem to stand a little straighter… For a couple of seconds, that is.

The turian – Garrus - broke the spell. "Thanks for clearing that out, Chief Williams… Ranking is something turians understand well…"

The krogan – Wrex - snorted at the comment and Garrus turned to him, making a face that might have been a glare… Not that Ashley was able to tell for sure. Wrex turned toward the turian and just returned his glare, not blinking once.

_Ugh… Not again… Like kids at school. _The two had been at it on and off during most of the visit and now, she just had enough of it. "Alright you two, that does it! There won't be any fight on this ship. Keep your aggressivity for later, when we might need it..." Satisfied at having the attention of everybody again, Ashley continued "The tour is finished. So… now that you know where to store your stuff, where to eat, where to pee and where to sleep… I suggest you find something to do until your appointment with the doctor later on…"

Wrex rumbled and made some kind of shrugging gesture, pointing toward the end of the nearby row of lockers "Tell Shepard I'll be over there if he needs me." He then simply left, hulking his way toward the designated location.

The krogan had barely started moving when Tali stepped forward, saying "Good… Um, I mean thanks for the explanations… I'll be going back to engineering right away, Adams wants me to be there so I can watch how they replace a fusion plant's manifold… Apparently it did not react well to the ship's first mission."

"Yeah… and remember to follow Adams' orders to the letter. This is a military ship, not a pleasure cruise." Ashley still could not really believe what had happened back there. Not only did the quarian appear to know a surprising amount of things on ship engines, but Chief Engineer Adams seemed to have taken an immediate liking to her, and asked her to come back… She had no authority on Adams and could not openly object, but she doubted letting a quarian work on Alliance cutting edge prototype technology was a good idea. _Am I the only one on this ship worried with the security of our military secrets? Or am I paranoid?_ She shook her head, trying to focus her attention back on Tali who had unhitched the weapon that had been on her back since they had met on the Citadel a few hours earlier.

Presenting her weapon, Tali said "I'll leave my gun here if you don't mind. I'll come back later to check it over… It was heating too quickly during the fight earlier today so, obviously, there must be a problem with the cooling components."

Ashley took the thing from the quarian's hands, frowning slightly as she gave it a quick and superficial appraisal "No problem… I'll leave it on my workbench." Looking back at the quarian, she politely offered "I can look into it, if you want."

"No… thanks… Please don't bother with it. I'll come by later and do it myself… It's customized and I would not like you to lose too much time with it."

The quarian thanked her again and quickly moved toward engineering, leaving her alone with the turian, who seemed to be patiently waiting his turn to take his leave.

In his strange voice that sounded as if he had a double set of vocal cords – but then again, maybe his voice came from a completely different anatomical structure for all Ashley knew – Garrus said "I would like to do something useful on the ship… I have some technical expertise and was wondering if it is ok for me to look after that armored vehicle." With a finger ...or a claw - Ashley tried not to look at it too much - he indicated the Mako just behind him.

"The M35? I don't know… It's been sitting there since I got onboard and I don't think we have anyone actually assigned to its maintenance right now… but I'll make sure to ask the commander about that." She didn't trust Garrus… She didn't want to see a turian lay one claw on some critical piece of equipment… and put lives in danger. _He's a freakin' turian for the love of god_… Anyway, authorizing this was beyond her authority and, since the aliens were the commander's 'guests', the decision was ultimately his. If she had anything to say about this, it would be an unqualified no. But with his apparent fascination with aliens, she was practically sure Shepard would let Garrus do whatever he wanted with the Mako. She sighed as she looked back at him. "Well, maybe you can start by getting acquainted with it, but don't do anything until we get the commander's official approval."

The turian nodded, but Ashley was unable to read his facial features for any sign of frustration, displeasure, or whatever. He just turned and walked up to the Mako, where he activated his omnitool, apparently trying to scan its systems. She smirked. _Good luck without the access codes._

Still holding the quarian's weapon, Ashley watched the turian for a few more seconds, she then glanced back at the krogan, leaning on the bulkhead not far away. _Whatever Commander Shepard may think, I sure will be keeping an eye on both of you. And I hope Adams does the same with the quarian._

Finally, turning her attention to the strange weapon in her hands, she wondered how Tali had managed to survive alone with what looked like an old shotgun. She was not entirely sure of its make… maybe asari… or salarian. It seemed well maintained, despite obvious signs of wear - some of the markings on it were worn smooth. It probably dated from before the first contact war for all she knew. Curious, she started searching for the latches that would allow access to its inner secrets. After a few moments of tinkering, she managed to open a well hidden panel on the stock and proceeded with her investigation.

She sighed and shook her head at the sight of all the non-standard pieces in there, some of which she was not even sure she recognized… _Damn aliens and damn their gear_. She sighed again, realizing the commander would probably want the quarian to get a better shotgun anyway… directly from the ship's limited supplies. The thought of the quarian getting a free ride at the Alliance's expense was doing nothing to improve her mood.

Closing the panel on the weapon's stock and pushing it aside, Ashley took a moment to reflect on some of the day's events. She trusted the commander, but she definitely was uncomfortable with how easily he seemed to put his trust in a bunch of aliens that he just met by chance. Turning, she glanced at the turian and krogan again. _Just a bunch of random alien freeloaders…_

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**Author's note**

Quarian with a Shotgun is going to be a 'back to basics' collection of episodes centered on Tali and her interactions with the crew of the Normandy SR1. The POV will vary, will be mostly other than Tali's and probably never Shepard's. I'll try to keep close to canon in terms of lore, with a few minor impovements where I think it may be indicated. Note that I write with a paragon MaleShep in mind, from Mindoir and probably war hero.

I did re-play ME1 for the fun of it and to get a fresh look at the characters. Ashley does come out as a bitchy bigot in the early part of the game. For her part, Tali comes out being rather chipper, ready for anything, and not shy at all. She does tend to talk a lot about her home & people though, but in the context where she has been on pilgrimage for less than a month when she joins up with Shepard's crew, and considering this is her first time away from the Flotilla, I think it makes perfect sense for her to behave in a way that may be reminiscent of the stereotypical farm girl who has just arrived in the big city.

Tali's character. As she explains in ME1, she was pushed to excellence while growing up and it was tough trying to meet her father's and other people's expectations, but she realized at some point that it was for the best and does not regret or begrudge it. She knows life is hard, and that one has to earn what one gets. It makes sense that, having internalized all of this, she would talk and act boldly, stepping forward at every opportunity, eager to get involved. Giving of herself for the greater good is the basis of her identity and her self-assigned role in the universe. The other side of the coin is that she probably is very hard on herself, deeply convinced that she has to be flawless to be up to the task. Because of that, she may come out as constantly trying to prove her worth. Trust necessarily must be an issue for her too, since trusting somebody else implies the relinquishing of a measure of control. This self-consciousness and need for control may also result in her being a little awkward socially. Being smart and having a thing for tech, she may have a tendency to use her competence and knowledge to compensate for her character flaws.

Considering her character as described above, it makes sense that Tali would have boldly gone after the geth in search of data about them, as this seems to be the best pilgrimage gift one can bring back to the Fleet, the quarian equivalent of the Holy Grail. She must have been shocked however when everything spun out of her control after having inadvertently put herself in Saren's path.

Being saved in extremis, owing her very life to somebody else (Shepard), was probably quite shocking too. Tali probably saw this as a failure on her part. Her character, I think, would be more congruent with her being a savior than the other way around. That Shepard's intervention would make a deep impression on Tali is understandable, I suppose, given her character and her inexperience. Note that Shepard also saved Ashley's life, but Ashley is more mature and experienced, so the perspective necessarily is quite different. Shepard also saves Liara's life later in the game, but Liara also has a different perspective on things (being more than 100 years old and having close to 900 more years to live would do that, I suppose). By the way, it is interesting to note how, in ME1 (but not in ME2), Shepard does save the life of each and every female recruited on his team, but none of the males. Obviously, Bioware has been abusing of the 'damsel in distress' archetype...

So, why does Tali boldly step forward at the human embassy and offers her help to Shepard, even if she obviously knows very little about him at that point (other than him being an Alliance officer on a mission against Saren and the geth)? She says it is an opportunity to give of herself for the greater good. But I like to think there must be other reasons. She may want to get back at Saren (the attempt on her life is still very fresh…), but there is also the obvious opportunity of going after the geth and gathering more data on them. I also suspect she may want to repay the debt she feels toward Shepard (for her life), or simply to demonstrate (to herself, to Shepard and – symbolically - to her father) that she is good enough to be on his team. Likely, it is a combination of all of these possible reasons. Note that Shepard is not yet a Spectre when Tali offers her help.


	2. Checkup

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

For obvious reasons, it probably is mandatory on a spaceship for any new crewmember to meet with the doctor for a checkup. So I had this idea of Tali (along with Garrus and Wrex) meeting Dr. Chakwas while the Normandy SR1 is preparing to leave the Citadel for its first real mission.

By the way, I always wondered what a fully trained medical doctor was doing on such a small ship. But then again, this is 170 years in the future, so maybe doctors are a dime a dozen by then. Her job basically is to patch people up, so she certainly is more of a trauma surgeon than a Dr. House kind of doctor. But on a spaceship, I suppose the job also includes surveillance of the crew for infectious diseases, mental health, appropriate nutrition, regular immune challenges (especially on long trips), etc. Also, I doubt Dr. Chakwas gets enough real work on the Normandy to maintain her skills. To compensate for the lack of real patients, she must have access to some special training tools...

This episode is in Dr. Chakwas' POV. It was originally supposed to be the first chapter of the series, but I had an incredibly tough time writing it. A visit to the doctor is a rather straightforward thing and one would think it would be easy to write… Anyway, I tried very hard to make this interesting without losing plausibility.

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**Chapter 2: Checkup.**

From her workstation, where she was processing small vials containing samples of turian blood, skin and saliva, Dr. Chakwas watched Garrus' back as he walked out of her sick-bay. _That one was more cooperative._ As the door closed behind him, her gaze shifted to her last patient, sitting on the chair near the desk by the entrance.

The quarian was looking back at her, arms crossed in front of her chest, one leg bouncing up and down in nervous energy. _She's impatient, obviously_. Pushing the thought aside, she turned her attention back to her task. She quickly stowed the samples in the freezer and wrapped up the last microbiology tests. Satisfied by the negative results, she initiated the station's auto-cleaning and sterilizing procedures, disposed of the few instruments she had used during the examination and started to prepare for the quarian, all the while reflecting on the latest developments.

The day certainly had been eventful, starting with Commander Shepard being made into humanity's first Spectre, quickly followed by him being given command of the Normandy in lieu of Captain Anderson. This had set things in motion, with Pressly rushing all over the ship, urging everyone to get ready for the possibility of a long mission to God knows where. Fortunately, amid all the turmoil, the commander had somehow found the time to send her a rather lengthy message, explaining the situation and telling her about the three alien recruits he was going to bring aboard. Since then, she had been frantically busy, updating her equipment, ordering additional chemicals for the medsynthesizer and her other machines, downloading new training software, refreshing her knowledge on krogans and trying to quickly learn the bare minimum on quarians.

Her xenomedical training, as per the still evolving Alliance policies, was thorough enough for turians, asari and salarians - she had the licenses and permits from the appropriate regulating bodies to prove it. She also had studied batarians and krogans as personal side projects shortly after the first contact war. But while she had had the chance to treat a fair number of batarians over the years, krogans had the annoying habit of regenerating… so she had had the chance to treat exactly - and only - one of these huge and fascinating creatures. It had been years ago… and her skills were rather rusty in that area to say the least. As the recent episode with Wrex reminded her however, the difficulty with krogans did not reside in the purely medical challenge, but in the patient's attitude.

Quarians however – she glanced again at the one near the door – were still mostly a mystery to her. The information she had quickly gathered a couple of hours ago would be enough to go through the upcoming basic checkup, _but I won't be ready for anything beyond minor surgery before a couple of days…_ However, the discomfort of feeling so unprepared was largely compensated by the prospect of spending hours with her 'virtual surgeon™', training on simulated quarian patients.

She sighed at the irony of her situation, shaking her head at the same time. Just the day before, she had practically been complaining to the commander about how boring her job had become. And now that it had ceased to be boring, it all came at once in a big overwhelming lump. _Be careful what you wish for…_ one of her mentors used to say when she had started in her career close to thirty years ago. _…you just might get it_.

She quickly checked her workstation and the adjoining bed one last time. Everything being ready, she turned to the quarian and signaled for her to come. _Quarians are rare…_ She had seen the odd one here and there during her travels, but had never had the chance to actually talk with one, let alone have one as a patient. As the alien got up from the chair and approached, Dr. Chakwas observed her gait and the way her arms swinged. Her tight fitting suit gave way, under her knees, to some kind of boots covering her strangely curved legs – a little like salarians and krogans. Like many other species, she had three digits. Her 'shoes' showed two long toes projecting out in front, and a little third one on the side. From her quick anatomic update, she knew those were in fact thick claw-like things projecting from very short actual toes_…_ Her visor was opaque, but the tip of her almost human nose could be faintly seen, between two almond shaped bright eyes.

Her observations were interrupted by the quarian's accented but recognizably feminine voice, which also had a slightly nasal quality. "So, it's finally the quarian's turn?"

She was a little surprised by the snarky tone, but chose to ignore it. This was not her first frustrated patient after all and, frankly, it was nothing compared to how the krogan – Wrex, she reminded herself - had treated her barely half an hour earlier. Trying to prevent escalation, Dr. Chakwas calmly replied "I regret having made you wait like that, but surely you understand that the krogan had to go first… and that dealing with your turian friend was barely more than a formal-"

"He's not my friend!" the quarian snapped back at once, crossing her arms in front of her chest and leaning on one leg. "He's just an ignorant turian, like all the others in C-Sec!"

Shaking her head slightly at such venom, Dr. Chakwas took a deep breath and tried again "Please try to look at it from my point of view. There are special issues with you that will require more time… I still think it made sense to keep you for last."

The quarian seemed to be processing this for a moment, her gaze fixed on the bulkhead behind the doctor. _Quick to anger at any sign of discrimination, real or imaginary… Annoying but understandable reaction_. Like everybody else in the galaxy, she knew of the quarians' bad reputation. However, she was not one to give much credence to such rumors and speciesist nonsense.

Finally, the younger woman's posture changed; she seemed literally to deflate, as if the tension that had built up inside her had suddenly been released. Looking back at her, the quarian made a brief movement with her arms and hands, the meaning of which was lost on her, and said in a tone that was much softer than before "Um… I'm sorry… I'm a little on edge and I overreacted a bit… Please accept my apology. …My name is Tali by the way."

She smiled at that, happy to see her patient changing to better dispositions. "That's alright... Tali. I'm Dr. Chakwas. From what I heard, I understand you had a rough time out there…" Extending her left hand, she patted the examination bed "Now, please sit here. The sooner we start, the sooner we'll be finished."

The suited woman nodded once and nimbly sat on the bed, leaving her legs dangling on its side. She looked around at the instruments and the room while Dr. Chakwas reactivated the station's console.

Navigating haptic menus, she asked over her shoulder "So… the commander told me you are on some kind of… pilgrimage?"

With what seemed to be practiced ease, Tali explained "Yes, it's what all quarians have to do when the time comes… going out in the galaxy, trying to find something worthy of being brought back to the flotilla, to demonstrate that one is ready and able to contribute as a full member of our society."

"Ok, I get it… a quest to mark passage into adulthood." _Seems a bit extreme… did she say __**all**__ quarians do it?_ She had to push the thought aside however, as an unexpected compatibility issue came up with one of the new software she had installed earlier in the day. _Damn._ She sighed as she opted to re-install it.

After a few moments of silence that probably felt increasingly awkward to her, the quarian observed "All human doctors I've met up to now seem to work alone… On the ship where I grew up, the medical facilities are always full of people. There are always several nurses and attendants to help…"

Still waiting for her console to resolve its problem, she turned to Tali and pointed to the ceiling above the bed, where a medical robot was in its resting position. "I've got a very precise helper up there. Also, some of the crewmembers are trained medics and would come to help if needed." She chuckled as she glanced at the younger woman "Maybe I should have called them to help me deal with the krogan…" Indeed, the large reptilian alien had been very difficult, challenging her at every step along the procedure and she had barely managed to keep her composure to the end of the ordeal. Chuckling again, she added "That was not the brightest moment of my career…"

Tali replied encouragingly "But you stood your ground at least… which is good. You should have seen how everybody was quick to get out of his way as we followed Commander Shepard around the Citadel…"

Dr. Chakwas smiled back at her patient, encouraged by the young alien's apparently genuine friendliness. "Ah… Thanks. But patients like these have a way of reminding me that I'm probably getting too old for field duty."

Tali seemed to look at her with renewed attention "…Old? I'm sorry… I would not have known. They did not teach us much about humans during my training before I left the flotilla. They mostly showed us how to differentiate between friendly and hostile facial expressions and body language. Even now, I'm still not entirely sure about the faces… humans always seem to end-up showing their teeth..."

_Oh…_ Looking back at her patient again, Dr. Chakwas was struck by a sudden realization, and could not help but feel sympathy for her. _Here she is, alone and far away from her home, completely surrounded by aliens whom she knows little about and whose faces are – at best - barely readable. _

She smiled warmly at Tali, feeling an urge to do something to help. Moving closer, she made sure the quarian could see her face clearly. "Let me give you a few hints then… Who knows, this could come in handy sometimes. See those little wrinkles on my skin…" She pointed in turn at a corner of her own mouth, then at the outer side of one eye and finally at her forehead. "…they're probably the best tell of a human's age. Young adults have almost none, and then they just get more prominent with time. Very old people's faces are all wrinkled. Another sign of age is the hair…" She ran a hand through her hair while saying this. "…it tends to turn gray like mine."

Tali examined her face and hair with attention, nodding slightly at the explanations. Dr. Chakwas was enjoying the situation. "But some people will try to hide their age by adding color in their hair and cosmetics on their skin… So, sometimes it may be hard to tell." She realized that quarians, all suited up as they were, probably had a hard time telling each other's age. But she had no time to enquire as a soft chime indicated her console required her attention again.

Going back to it, she was happy to see that the previous issue had been resolved. _Time to move on._ Turning to Tali again, she asked "You must have a medical VI in your suit… Would you be so kind as to download an access code to my console? That way the ship's VI can interface with it and I can get your medical file up and ready."

"Sure, just a moment…" Activating her omnitool, Tali tapped a few commands and looked back at the doctor.

Dr. Chakwas quickly located new files on her system, translated from the quarian's envirosuit by the ship's VI. " There… I think it worked." Opening them, she saw biochemical and blood profiles, with all numbers apparently in the normal range. Looking at the rest of the data, she noted the quarian's age. _Ah, definitely an adult… This will reassure the commander. Hell, at twenty two I had already performed my first appendectomy and helped deliver a dozen babies…_ Looking at the rest of the data, she found some additional biometric information and a complete set of imaging studies. For some reason however, the date was missing on the latter. Over her shoulder, she enquired "I see you had some basic lab analysis and scans done… How old are they?"

"About two months ago… mandatory medical exam just before I left the flotilla."

"My VI says it can work with them, even the scans." Turning briefly to flash a smile at the quarian, she added "That means I won't have to expose you to additional radiations for now…" She tapped a few commands on the haptic keyboard. "Any special condition or medication you have to take regularly and that I should know about?"

"None… Except for my…" She gestured at herself or at her suit, Dr. Chakwas was not entirely sure "…immune situation."

"Ah, yes… We'll have to talk about your suit… But first, I need to get some fresh blood samples… one tube for a baseline and to verify my instruments, and another tube for future reference." She took hold of an automated syringe and quickly placed two empty glass tubes in a receptacle, arming the contraption with an audible 'click.'

She approached the quarian, holding up the instrument in her right hand. "Could you please show me where I can get access to your blood stream… quarian suits are supposed to have built-in ports for this, no?"

Tali looked at her and at the intimidating syringe for a brief moment, then pointed to a small bulge on her left upper arm. With two fingers of her right hand, she did something to it that caused a small port to become exposed.

"You'll have to show me how to do that again…" said Dr. Chakwas as she inserted the tip of her instrument in the port's orifice. Pressing a button, red fluid started to flow up and, as the first tube filled, she continued "…in fact, you'll have to show me how to access your body underneath that suit. I hope it never happens, but in an emergency situation, I need to be able to do it all by myself."

Watching the syringe, where the second tube had already started to fill, Tali nodded. "I understand… It's not complicated. You just have to know where to find the latches…"

"Good." Having finished, Dr. Chakwas removed the blood-filled tubes and gently shook them to make sure the anticoagulant and other preservatives the syringe had added were well mixed. She then turned back to her console, placing one tube in a slot in one of the machines embedded in the bulkhead, and the other on a small tray. "The analysis will take a few minutes…" She took one of the smaller vials that were also on the tray and, with a pipette, proceeded to transfer the contents of the second tube in it. While doing so, she said "The commander said you were involved in a gunfight back on the Citadel…"

"I was involved in a few incidents, yes…" After a brief pause, she added "Apparently, he said many things about me... What else did he tell you?"

She smiled, remembering some of his words. "He said he was impressed by how skillful you are with a shotgun."

The quarian dropped her head a little at that "Ugh… I'm not sure I agree with that. I'm glad he showed up to that gunfight however… otherwise, I certainly would be dead by now."

"Ah…" She paused for half a second, thinking of Chief Williams and the recent incident on Eden Prime. "…He does seem to have a thing for damsels in distress."

"Damsels …what?"

Turning to her patient while putting the lid back on another small vial, Dr. Chakwas smiled. "I suppose it's a human thing… You know, asari are monogendered, turians are obsessed with discipline and just too square anyway, and I don't think either krogans or salarians would understand the idea…" With a finger that was not busy holding something, she pointed at the quarian's omnitool. "…Look it up when you have time… 'damsel in distress.' Who knows, maybe a quarian would get it." Turning back to her task, she finished filling the last vial, and proceeded with the labeling.

After close to a minute of relative silence, punctuated by small noises from the doctor's work and those coming from the machine still busy analyzing the contents of the first tube, Tali started shuffling a little on the bed as if uncomfortable and finally asked "…So …I haven't had time to ask anybody yet, but… Who is he? I mean I understand he is the first human Spectre and that would be enough to make him into a celebrity of sorts, but I have the impression he was already well known even before…"

Dr. Chakwas snorted. "Yes, he certainly was…" Quickly, she stowed the vials away in the freezer, then turned toward Tali. "He's been known for a few years as a hero of the Alliance… They even used him in a few publicity campaigns, showing him as an example of what humanity can do. Of course, that's propaganda... anyone would say that. But having worked with him for a little more than a week now, I would say that I'm inclined to believe most of it."

With obvious curiosity, Tali asked "So… what's his story?"

"Well… to be honest, you would probably find more accurate information on the extranet…" She paused for a moment and smiled "...but I'll tell you all I know while you show me how to deal with your suit." She pointed at the bed and went back to her console. "Please lie down, I'll activate the surgical decontamination field."

Tali reclined and, soon after, a transparent quarantine cover rolled out from the other side of the bed. Accompanied by a soft whirring sound, it quickly enclosed the whole bed and, as the bright light from the decontamination beam started to sweep the interior of the enclosure, Dr. Chakwas decided to start from the beginning. "Apparently, he grew on a farm on Mindoir, an agrarian colony…"

* * *

Later that day, comfortably installed in a sleeper pod aboard a human state-of-the-art ship that had just launched from the Citadel and was making its way toward a nearby relay, a young quarian woman was waiting for sleep to come. Exhausted by the events of the last few days, her stomach full of nutritious but tasteless paste, she was looking forward to what she hoped would be a refreshing sleep period, the first in a long time. Feeling her consciousness start the transition into slumber, she chuckled a bit as her eyes swept across the screen on the inner side of the pod's cover, where the result of her last extranet search was still displayed.

**Damsel in distress**  
From: CitaPedia, the free Citadel encyclopedia.  
The concept of the damsel in distress, or persecuted maiden, is a classic theme in human literature, art, and vids. She is usually a beautiful young woman placed in a dire predicament by a villain or monster and who requires a hero to achieve her rescue. This is thought to originate from the combination of the male/female dichotomy that is characteristic of the human species along with a few others in the galaxy, and the male-centric cultures that have long been (and still are to some extent) dominant on Earth, the human homeworld. The damsel in distress has long been a stock character of human fiction, particularly of melodrama. Though she is usually human, she can also be of any other species, including fictional or folkloric species; and even divine figures such as an angel or deity.

Considering what she knew of Saren and what she had learned about Shepard from the doctor and some additional extranet searches, Tali had to agree that her situation did fit pretty well with this funny 'damsel in distress' concept, although she had strong doubts about herself being beautiful. As her eyelids became heavier, her thoughts drifted a bit and she imagined other variants of the scenario. The last image in her mind, as sleep finally engulfed her, was that of Shepard's grateful figure as she triumphantly stood over a monstrous but now headless creature that had been threatening him, shotgun still hot in her hands.


	3. I've Got Your Back

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

On his way to the Artemis Tau cluster where he hopes to find Dr. Liara T'Soni, Shepard has decided to stop for a bit of training with his newly acquired ground team. A quick search through Alliance data revealed a suitable planet in the Hades Gamma cluster. Planet Trebin, in the Antaeus system, sure looks like a safe place to conduct some basic exercises with the Mako and proceed with some team-building drills. In addition, contact has been lost with an Exogeni survey team on this same planet; seems like this could be an easy first mission… But when are things ever easy?

Although she had some training on the flotilla before leaving for her pilgrimage, Tali probably never had real combat experience apart from a few exchanges of gunfire as she was fleeing Saren's agents and the short fight in the back alley close to Chora's Den on the Citadel. Will she be able to hold together when faced with the real thing?

I always thought Kaidan was a little boring (serious, level-headed guy, follows regulations, tendency to rationalize, a little philosophical at times)… but decided to try him on as a POV anyway.

Crash course on Trebin: The site of one among many side quests in ME1, planet Trebin is dry, dusty, with low hills and a few cliffs. Exogeni has crashed a comet on the planet in an effort to bring some water for eventual colonization. A survey team (from Exogeni) is there to study the effects of the crash. There is some salvage available; one with 4 or 5 hostile scavengers that need to be killed, and another near the lair of a tresher maw that is just fun to kill with the Mako. Elsewhere, there is some kind of beacon that makes satellites fall (I never understood who put it there, for what purpose, why the satellites are all falling exactly in that spot, and why they still look intact… which is totally laughable). Finally, investigating the disappearance of the survey team, Shepard and co. find their abandoned camp. There, a computer contains some log entry pointing to a nearby dig site where the missing people apparently found some alien artifacts. Of course, the fate of the survey team is to be discovered deep underground…

In the game, this side quest (Trebin) was not very well made and felt incomplete as, despite the obvious parallels, the association between husks and geth (as on Eden Prime) is not even brought up!

* * *

**Chapter 3: I've got your back.**

The access tunnel to the dig site, a typical prefab steel tube, had led them down to a rounded chamber no more than fifteen meters in diameter and maybe five in height. A few portable electric lamps were lying around, providing more than enough light for such a place, illuminating its walls of yellowish rock. The muddy water covering its floor was only ankle deep, but so thick with dirt that it flowed almost like oil around Kaidan's boots.

They found a couple of crates, but their contents – some mining gear - held no interest at all, and certainly no hint as to what had happened to Exogeni's survey team. _The lights are on, but nobody's home._

For some reason, one of the crates had been locked but Tali had taken care of it with ease. Kaidan, who had watched over her shoulder, knew – in principle - what she had done, but her technique was based on a mathematical approach he had never seen before. Judging by the speed with which she went through the lock, she was either very talented or her algorithm was vastly superior to his. _Or both…_ _I'll have to ask her about that later. Quarians do have a reputation for tech, after all._

The commander was waiting for them near the only other door, on the left side of the chamber coming from the access tunnel. A hand on the side of his head, he was talking with Chief Williams who, with the rest of the team, was still investigating the nearby camp. "Yes… We've entered the dig site as such… No, nothing. Just the first chamber for now, but we're about to open another door and go deeper… Wrex did what?" He smirked. "Looks like I'll be having another talk on the virtues of teamwork and the chain of command… No, leave this to me." With his other hand, he signaled them to come closer. "Other log entries?" He frowned in concentration while listening to what seemed to be a lengthy explanation. "Copy that, Chief. Useful information… Yeah. Over and out."

Approaching, Kaidan inquired "Trouble?"

The commander nodded. "Nothing too bad… I expected something like this at one point or another. Wrex respects force and decisiveness…" He flashed him a predatory smile "…so I'll show him force and decisiveness." He turned and looked at the door for a moment, and then at the quarian. "You ok, Tali?"

She nodded at him, making a show of holding her shotgun with both hands. "Ready when you are, Shepard."

Kaidan smiled at that. He had understood some time ago that aliens were not so different from humans; they had similar desires, similar weaknesses, even if these were sometimes expressed in other ways… It was obvious to him that the commander's solicitude was starting to upset Tali. As any rookie, she probably resented the babysitting. He knew the feeling. _Shepard too, I'm sure… Maybe he's compensating for Jenkins… _

For a civilian, and despite the commander's disturbing driving style, she had done surprisingly well at managing the Mako's energy and sensor systems. Even when the ride had suddenly turned into a violent confrontation with a group of scavengers, and again shortly after that when they had stumbled upon a tresher maw… These thoughts almost brought back the sinking feeling he had had in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the huge beast erupting from the ground right in front of the vehicle… _Hadn't been so scared in a long time…_

Kaidan exhaled slowly, pushing the recent memory away. He watched as the commander pointed at the door and, without a word, signaled for them to form up around it. Executing himself, he glanced at Tali as she did the same on the other side of the doorway. The few hours he had spent in the cargo bay showing her, Garrus and Wrex the main Alliance hand signals had been a little frustrating, but it seemed to be working. Fortunately, the number of fingers had not been too much of an issue.

He positioned himself on the right side of the door while Tali went on the left. The commander took a few steps back, shouldering his assault rifle as he assumed the riskier spot in front of the door. Kaidan was ready; his left hand on the door switch and his right firmly around the grip of his pistol. He looked at the quarian; her back to the wall, she held her shotgun upright with both hands, prepared to turn and level it at any hostile on the other side of the door. His gaze met hers and she nodded at him. _Good._ "We're ready, Commander."

"Ok, Lieutenant. Open the door on go. Three… Two… One… GO!"

The door split in two, right in the middle. One of its panels retracted in the floor and the other disappeared in the top part of the doorframe. What lay beyond was another empty prefab tube, also slanting down but at a lesser angle than the access tunnel. Without a word, Tali and him followed the commander down the tunnel, the only noises coming from their boots clanging on the metallic floor. The door at the other end was also closed, and they repeated the same procedure.

It opened to a much larger chamber that seemed to extend further on the left. Its walls were made of the same yellowish rock as the first chamber, and its floor was also covered by water. There were boulders here and there, and some pieces of rock actually connected with the ceiling, forming large pillar-like structures. Containers of various shape and size were also lying around, along with several more portable electric lamps.

A few areas of darkness remained despite the lamps, but the light allowed Kaidan to appreciate the vastness of the underground room. Briefly, he wondered how much of it was natural and how much actual digging had been done. Leaning through the doorway, he could see a couple of doors at its far end. _Still no trace of Exogeni's people… _This was disappointing and intriguing at the same time. In fact, considering what had happened since they had dropped on this planet, he would not have been surprised at finding some new enemy, or the scene of a massacre…

That's when he heard it, coming from somewhere in the back of the chamber. It was the same throaty screech he had heard on Eden Prime just a few days ago… Half a second later, two other similar screeches were heard, as if answering to the first.

"Shit!" the commander hissed, echoing exactly what Kaidan was thinking.

And that's when he saw them. Appearing seemingly out of nowhere, several humanoid shapes outlined by glowing blue lines were running through the chamber toward them, arms extended, their shrieks mixed with the splashing sound of their feet as they moved closer.

"Shit, shit, shit!" the commander spat.

"What is it?" Standing on her toes on the other side of the doorway, Tali was craning her neck to peer inside.

"Husks!" Kaidan said. "Same things we met on Eden Prime… repurposed humans." _Wait… that means there should be geth too!_ He quickly looked around, but there was nothing but the husks, coming ever closer.

"I hate those guys! There must be a dozen of them at least!" Shepard said just before opening up with his rifle on a canister lying on the ground near the husk that was at the head of the approaching horde.

It exploded and the husk fell, its legs blown to pieces. The ones following it staggered, but it did not take long for the creatures to focus on them again and to resume their run.

"We shoot as we fall back" The commander ordered. Glancing at Tali, he added "You stay close to me."

They started walking backward and upward along the tube, retreating toward the first chamber, all the time shooting at the mass of husks that had already reached the open door. As the first finally fell to their combined fire, Kaidan was reminded of how much punishing these mindless creatures could take. Another one fell as the commander threw a couple of grenades in quick succession. Despite this, the husks were gaining on them and it was obvious they would be overrun soon; they were just not able to make enough damage fast enough.

_We need more time._ Using his left hand as a focus to initiate a biotic attack, he felt the satisfying release as the blue aura that briefly surrounded his body seemed to flow along his arm and burst forth from his hand as a glowing ball of concentrated dark energy. The targeted husk was thrown backward, hitting its followers and staggering them for a brief moment. A couple more of the creatures fell to Tali's shotgun and the commander's assault rifle.

Soon after that, as they continued their shooting retreat and were getting close to the first chamber, Kaidan heard the overheat alarm from Tali's shotgun. Glancing sideways, he saw her just standing there for a moment as if dismayed, staring at her weapon. _Damn… rookie mistake…_ Obviously, she had been unable to manage her firing rate. It was his turn however to be dismayed at what she did next. With a muffled interjection that his translator failed to process, she turned on her heels and ran away, abandoning him and the commander. _Damn… rookie panic…_ But there was nothing he could do about that. The husks had almost reached them again. As luck had it, he felt ready for another biotic throw.

This bought them enough time to reach the open door at the top of the tube. Briefly, the idea of overriding it crossed his mind, but was dismissed at once. _Too late for that._ Indeed, still moving backward, they were barely through it and into the first chamber when the husks finally caught up with them and the fight became a close quarter exchange of claws, guns and armored fists. One of the husks stopped moving and suddenly was engulfed by a storm of blue electric-like sparks that spread around, reaching him and the commander, setting off an alarm in his suit._ My shield's out…_

Just when he thought everything was lost, the door suddenly closed, cutting the two nearest husks from the rest of the horde and trapping another between its two panels. Taking advantage of the unexpected turn of events, the two men quickly dispatched their assailants. While the commander crushed the head of one with the butt of his rifle, he used a biotic throw on the other, projecting it against the nearby wall, at the foot of which it crumbled, motionless.

Panting, his hands on his knees, Kaidan looked at the husk trapped in the middle of the door. It was held horizontally, its chest and up sticking out from between the two panels. As he looked on, the commander approached the still screeching and flailing creature and, keeping beyond the reach of its claws, shot its head off.

_What a narrow escape… even scarier than the tresher._ Trying to calm down, he concentrated on his breathing despite the noise from the remaining husks, who were banging on the other side of the door, screeching ceaselessly. He could see them moving about through the five centimeter wide opening between the panels, held apart by the body of the now limp and headless husk.

Walking backward from the door, his rifle at the ready, the commander said "Brace yourself, Kaidan… With all that flailing, one of those guys is bound to hit the switch any second now… I'm surprised you managed to close the door though… Don't they have proximity sensors or something?"

His thinking starting to clear up, Kaidan could only admit his own surprise "I didn't close the door… Thought about it… But there was no time-"

Tali's voice interrupted him as she approached from behind "I overrode the door mechanism… They won't open it…"

He and the commander turned toward her. Omnitool still glowing, she held her shotgun with her other hand as she stepped closer.

"Tali!" The commander sounded relieved. "Good timing! For a moment there, I thought… Well, never mind."

Apparently, the Spectre had been thinking along the same lines as he had… and had been wrong too. _No rookie panic after all._

The man looked at him for a second, then back at the quarian "Tali… you probably did the right thing… saved our neck, in fact… Still, you should have told me what you intended to do. Even in the middle of a battle, I still need to know. For a few moments back there, Lieutenant Alenko and me were left with the impression we had been abandoned…"

Tali gasped, took a step back and started to talk faster, stumbling through her words. "I… I was thinking of the door and these creatures… my weapon alarm went on and I looked back and the door was near and so I decided there was no time to waste and ran for it so I would have time to override it to cover your retreat and-"

She stopped when the commander stepped forward and put a gloved hand on her shoulder.

Looking at her with an expression that was intended to be reassuring, his voice calm, he said "It's ok, Tali. You did the right thing… I was just pointing out how this could have been done better." After a short pause, he added "Now however, I want to know if you're ready to go on with us and finish the mission."

She looked at his hand on her shoulder, and then at him. After a couple of seconds, she straightened and her voice was firm as she nodded to him "Yes, Shepard. I've got your back."

He smiled and nodded as he released her shoulder. "Good. I'm counting on you."

Turning toward the door, he gestured at it. "Now… How are we going to get rid of the remaining husks? I counted six of them."

As the three looked on, the limp remains still held between the two door panels shuddered a few times amid the screeches and the banging sounds coming from the other side. No doubt it was being either pushed or pulled by the creatures as they mindlessly clawed at the obstacle in their way. Before any of them could say anything, there was a particularly strong bang on the door and, in front of their eyes, it shut completely as the top half of the trapped body fell to the floor.

The commander was the first to speak. "Shit, they clawed through it! And I was thinking of safely shooting them all through that crack…" He turned back to Tali. "Is it possible for you to open the door just a little so we can do this? We could also dump a few grenades through it."

She shook her head "No. These doors have a hydraulic system that toggles between the open and close positions… But I can try to open it briefly, let a few of them in and then close it again; that's what I had in mind when I first thought of overriding it."

"Fine, we'll do it your way. But we need a plan B in case they all stumble in together as soon as the it opens…" He turned and pointed at the other doorway roughly ten meters away, the one leading to the access tunnel and the exit. "Tali, go to that door and override it too; that will be our plan B."

Tali having left them to accomplish her task, the commander approached Kaidan and whispered "Not sure about it… maybe just inexperience, but could be some form of combat stress reaction… Today's bad enough for you and me, so imagine what it's like for her… and it's not finished." He indicated the nearby door, resounding from time to time as the husks on the other side kept at it. "We'll have to keep an eye on her."

Kaidan nodded his understanding. What had been intended as a training sortie had quickly morphed into a series of real combat situations… That the quarian was still holding mostly together was a good sign, in fact. No doubt the commander would have a comprehensive debriefing with her later and maybe involve the doctor too, all in conformity with Alliance regulations. But his thoughts were interrupted; Tali was already coming back and the commander was signaling for them to form up again…

* * *

An hour later, having wiped out all the remaining husks, explored the rest of the dig site and found the alien artifacts – which turned out to be exactly similar to the dragon's teeth that the geth had been using on Eden Prime, they were finally making their way back to the exit.

The commander, a few meters ahead of him and Tali, was moving as if he didn't feel any fatigue. His hand on the side of his head, he was talking with Chief Williams. "…Yeah… the number of husks we killed matches, so this had to be the survey team. Don't know how they did it though… Doubt anybody would just volunteer to get impaled on some pointy alien tech found in a hole. Yeah, exactly the same devices the geth used on Eden Prime. Tali thinks the geth may have found theirs in a similar way and just added them to their arsenal…"

Not listening anymore, Kaidan realized he had a shimmering spot in the periphery of his field of vision. _Crap._ This was the warning sign he had learned to recognize over the years; a migraine was coming. The headaches were bad enough, but it was usually the nausea that really got to him. Now was probably the best time to take his painkiller and the usual double dose of anti-nausea drugs. From experience, he knew it was best to get chemical help as soon as possible. _Better to nip it in the bud_. He removed his right glove, shoved it under his left arm and dug in his side pocket were he always kept a few pills in reserve. It took three fishing expeditions before his hand came back with the right combination; one pink lozenge and two small white squares. He looked at them for half a second before gobbling them all at once. Despite the awful taste, he chewed to make the pills easier to swallow.

Walking silently at his side, Tali had been observing him. "Medications? …Are you sick?"

He glanced at her. "From time to time, I get huge migraines… Apparently, it's a side effect of my biotic implant... I can feel one coming now; should be in full swing in about an hour. The pills are just helping make the situation manageable."

"I'm sorry to hear that." After they had walked a few more meters, she glanced at him again "So… those powers you have. There's a price to pay for them."

He nodded. "Yes, I suppose you could say that." But her comment threatened to bring back some memories he did not want to revisit at the moment. _I did pay a lot for these powers…_ Wanting to avoid this train of thought, he shifted his focus back to her. He tried to concentrate on how she – the rookie - was feeling about the day's events. Glancing at her, he asked "And you… how are you holding up?"

She replied without hesitation. "To be honest, I'm glad we're going back to the Normandy. I'm tired and hungry…" As she looked back at him, he had the impression she was frowning. "…and I was not in danger of breaking down. I'm tougher than that."

He smiled at the energy she put in her last words. At the same time, _the way she had said it…_ He wondered if she had overheard the commander's whispered comment right after the door incident. _But she's a smart one… She probably just noticed how we kept her a little more out of the way during the rest of the mission._ He looked back at her and replied "I believe you. I think you did very well considering the circumstances. And I'm looking forward to some rest too. The ship is probably already at the survey team's camp, waiting for us. We'll just have to put up with another ride in the Mako to get back there." Thinking of the vehicle and the commander's unorthodox driving, he was glad he had already swallowed his medication, especially the square anti-nausea pills.

"Ah yes… It's so much fun riding in the Mako… That compensates for everything else that happened today." Tali looked at him and seemed completely oblivious to his consternation at hearing appreciative comments about the vehicle and the way it had been driven. She continued with renewed enthusiasm "We have nothing on the flotilla that compares to that… On my birthship, the Rayya, we have a few small vehicles to haul equipment and heavy machinery, but they are slow… And they can't jump or make crazy swerving motions, or threaten to flip over or anything like what Shepard was making the Mako do on our way here…"

As she continued describing in details each stomach churning movement the armored vehicle could make, using her hands to add details, he found himself fishing in his pocket again for another of those small square pills. It was only a short run from the dig site to the survey team's camp - one kilometer at most - but another dose could not hurt.

* * *

**Your opinion: Love? Hate? Other? Mistakes to point out? Please leave a review. **


	4. On Having a Shotgun

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

It is set a couple of days after Therum (Liara's recruitment) and some days before Feros (Noveria would be later – don't want Benezia to die right away!). It takes place in the cargo hold, while Shepard, Ashley and Wrex are away on a side-quest (with the Mako). It's in Liara's POV and I'm trying to make some sense of how she makes the transition from being 'just' an archeologist to being one of Shepard's warriors.

Among Shepard's recruits, Liara is without doubt the least combat ready when she joins the team. As an archeologist and 'bookish' kind of person (university academic and all), she most assuredly has had no formal training in anything having to do with armor or weapons. She probably had some training to master her biotic powers however (maybe she had trainers paid by her mother when she was still at home). In any case, Shepard would likely try to bring her up to speed, asking the others to contribute - each according to their own specialty. Tali would of course be expected to show her the proper use of a shotgun.

For those who are interested, there is another of my hefty author's notes appended down below. It's a long discussion on how alien Liara (and asari in general) feels to me and how much of a Mary Sue I think she is.

Tell me what you think of my interpretation of Liara – and Tali, or any other opinion on this chapter  
(**reviews please!**).

**Small edit (June 24 2012):** I changed how Tali and Liara talk about Ashley, to reflect how the latter is trying to be nicer to aliens (this chapter is set at about the time in ME1 when Ashley has the 'aliens on the Normandy' conversation with Shepard - where paragon Shepard basically orders her to play nice with the aliens). I think this minor edit is totally appropriate since I did intend at some point to show how Ashley would lose some of her misconceptions/suspicions along the way.

* * *

**Chapter 4: On Having a Shotgun.**

_This is driving me crazy._ It had started not long after she had finished putting the suit on in the morning, as a mild and barely noticeable annoyance at first, quickly relieved by moving her left arm in such a way that part of the armor rubbed slightly behind her left shoulder. With time however, the itch had grown to the point where it was now a constant distraction. No matter how much she moved her arm, it just wouldn't go away entirely anymore. _By the godess._ She was having a hard time concentrating.

"Pay attention, Liara. I know it may be a lot for you right now, but all of this is important."

She turned her attention back to the quarian who was watching her from the other side of the crate that they were using as a makeshift table, in a back corner of the cargo hold near the Mako's empty spot. Under the glare of the woman's eyes, despite the age and species difference, Liara struggled not to feel like a child. By pure force of will, she managed to ignore the itch. In full control of herself again, for the moment at least, she replied "Yes, of course… Just a small distraction…" Using all her discipline, she then looked at her dismantled shotgun, its pieces neatly arrayed on the crate's top as Tali continued with the technical explanations.

After barely half a minute however, the itch was already tearing at her mind again and she just couldn't take it anymore. _That's enough!_ Looking at her 'teacher,' she said as calmly as she could "…I'm sorry …I just can't concentrate with this itching behind my shoulder…" She patted her left pauldron with her gloved right hand, taking advantage of the situation to make the armor rub harder against the source of her misery. _Ah! That's better._ Taking a step back and twisting a little, she continued to talk as she examined the armor plates on her thighs and legs "This suit is not very comfortable…" She then straightened again to look back at Tali "…but at least it does not itch as the shoulder." She jerked her left arm another time and was rewarded again by a brief remission from the terribly annoying feeling… only for it to come right back, as intense as before. "Argh! …By the goddess, this is intolerable!"

Tali sighed "Alright. Let me take a look. Otherwise all the teaching will be wasted." Coming around the crate, the quarian approached her and, from behind, started pulling and tugging at the overlapping pieces of armor on her left arm. "I happen to have a little experience with suit troubles."

As the quarian proceeded with her examination, and despite the itch that was increasing again, Liara remembered the only other time she had worn anything remotely similar to that. Glancing at Tali, who by now had realized she had to remove all the armor on the arm in order to get to the shoulder piece, she said "I wore armor only once before, maybe fifteen years ago… We were digging around a prothean ruin on a hanar world. The security personnel required us to wear it at all times. All of that because of some threats by a group of hanar zealots who were protesting against our research. But it was much less complete – and much less heavy - than this thing I'm wearing now… And it was not itchy!"

Tali chuckled."Believe me… you'll need that armor suit if you are to go with Shepard. He attracts danger like a supermagnet. On my first sortie with him, we had to fight a tresher maw, a bunch of criminals and a horde of husks… all that in the course of only a few hours."

Liara watched the nimble three fingered hands as the first piece of armor came off her wrist, and replied "Yes, I saw the recordings… along with those from Eden Prime and the others. It's hard for me to believe I'm expected to participate in such… activities."

Tali did not pause in her work, carefully placing each piece of armor on the crate, on top of the shotgun parts, as she removed them. "Shepard needs all the help he can get. Hopefully, this training will make you into an asset for the mission… We're all counting on your biotics."

Finally the shoulder piece came off, and the horrible itch disappeared immediately. Liara could not hold back a satisfied "Ahhhh! Thank-you! …I thought this would never go away!"

Tali examined the piece of armor, turning it between her hands. She then looked at Liara's shoulder and exclaimed "Ah! Here's the problem. It's a fold in your undersuit."

Working together, they pulled and stretched the tough synthetic material on her shoulder and on her arm, in such a way that the fold disappeared.

"That's it?" Liara asked, surprised at how such a small detail could cause so much grief.

"Yes. Folds can cause a lot of trouble… I had a tough time with them when I first got this suit ten years ago. It was much too big for me then…" Indicating the belts circling her thorax, she added "Those things accomplished miracles though. They haven't been as useful since my growing phase has passed, but I like to keep them around."

Liara shook her head in amazement. "Ten years? My goodness!" Of course, she had known about quarian suits and why they had to be worn, but it had always felt like a distant thing to her, just another bit of information among so many others that did not concern her. Now however, the distant bit of information had become a tangible thing and she was realizing some of its ramifications. "I feel sorry for you… It is unfortunate that you must be in a suit all the time." _What a shame. _It really was.

Tali shrugged, "There's not much we can do against the will of the Ancestors… We have to go along with it."

There was some grace to the quarian's answer, even if it had sounded somewhat fatalistic. Tali's comment reminded her of some of the things her mother used to say. Despite the years, she still remembered much of Benezia's generous philosophy. "…My mother often said that what had been done to your people was wrong. It saddened her that, as she used to say, 'no one can put the petals back on the flower now that the wind has blown.'"

Tali just stood there, looking back at her. After a few seconds, when Liara was beginning to wonder if she had understood, the quarian replied somewhat harshly "I'm sure that such poetry would be a great comfort to the seventeen million quarians that are living in cramped ships, barely holding together… Especially when the 'petals' get turned away from every asari system they approach."

Taken aback by the reproach dripping from Tali's words… Liara realized once more how inept she could be with others. _I probably should just have left that obviously sensitive topic alone._ She looked away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to offend-"

But Tali cut her off, her voice softer this time "No, I'm the one who is sorry. I have a tendency to overreact…" She sighed. "… and I should know better than to expect an asari to understand my people's hardships." After a few seconds of silence that neither felt like breaking, Tali picked the shoulder piece of armor from the nearby crate and, apparently, decided that it was time to move on. "Please… try not to move while I put your armor back on."

Tali's work progressed slowly and at some point, when she was almost finished, Liara could not stand the awkward silence anymore and decided to re-engage the conversation. "The soldier… Ashley… she gave me my weapons and helped me fit the armor this morning, using spares from the ship's stock. She was not very friendly, but she was not as bad as I expected... considering the way she treated me during the meeting after we left Therum."

Tali chuckled dryly "Maybe it is true then... The rumor back in engineering is that Shepard told her to keep her speciesist ideas to herself and learn to work with non-humans... That must have been hard for her."

Liara shook her head slightly, looking toward the soldier's workbench on the other side of the large room, remembering how awkward she had felt waiting for Ashley's bad temper to flare up against her... But in the end, nothing of the sort had happened. "Yes... she obviously was in a rush to get rid of me so she could go down on that planet with the commander and the krogan… But even then, she remained professional…"

Tali snorted as she finished attaching the last piece. "That's an improvement over the way she's been behaving since the very first day I met her… It didn't take me long to figure she was like that with all the non-humans." She glanced at the requisitions officer, who was much too far to hear anything, but lowered her tone anyway as she continued "There are a few others like her… humans that would prefer us to not be on their ship."

_She said 'us'…_ It was an obvious and reasonable way of presenting the situation, but at the same time it felt a little bit strange to Liara, being placed in the same category as a turian, a krogan and… a quarian. She nodded her understanding however, ignoring the previous thought as it slipped away into the back of her mind. "I must say I was a little bit uneasy at first on a ship filled with humans, especially with the way they were looking at me. But the commander was right; it did get better as it became known that I'm not in league with my mother …or Saren. Yet, I suppose you are probably right, it would be reasonable to assume that some humans harbor xenophobic sentiments."

Tali gestured with her hand as if she was pushing something aside. "I try my best to ignore them… That's what we… quarian pilgrims, I mean… have been told to do in this kind of situation."

Liara nodded. "Yes, but we still have to be civil… and maybe we should be happy that just a few of the humans are like that." Looking at the quarian again, an idea crossed her mind. "In fact, I know very little about humans… You, however…" She pointed at Tali "…have been on this ship for some time now and especially… I mean being a quarian and all… I'm curious about your perception of them."

Tali crossed her arms in front of her chest, obviously glaring at her.

_Oh my, I did it again._ Quickly, she tried to undo the damage her clumsiness had caused. "…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you… What I meant to say is that… I know quarians are not well received in general, so your opinion on humans may be more… perceptive?"

Tali kept her stance for a few more seconds, but suddenly relaxed as if she had decided to accept the carefully worded apology. "You look funny when you're embarrassed…" she said, chuckling a little as she shook her head. "But what you said is true. Quarians are treated like trash most of the time and that was my experience until I met Shepard and came aboard this ship. I suppose I'm lucky that most of the humans here have had minimal contact with other species… They obviously aren't free of prejudices, but I don't think they are directed at me – I mean as a quarian."

Tali went on "First, you'll have to get used to their way of interacting. Their face is quite expressive - I'm learning more and more, but I'm still missing a lot. Their humor may be hard to follow as they like to play on words with multiple possible meanings, and the translation often makes no sense. Even worse are the idioms that they use. If a human says something you don't understand, just assume it was a joke and hope it was not about you. I suspect there are often sexual references in their humor too, but I try to ignore this as I know little about human mating practices and… frankly… I'm not sure I really want to know about that."

Liara blushed slightly at the last comment as she remembered how, the day before, she had brought the issue of asari mating practices up front during a private conversation with Shepard… She was disappointed with herself in that, ironically, by denouncing the common rumors about the so-called asari promiscuity, she had ended up talking about it a lot. _He probably thinks I'm a lewd person now…_ She shook herself out of this train of thought however and asked "And what about the rudeness? Are humans as aggressive and pushy as the rumors go?"

"Oh… I wouldn't say that. They can be impolite, loud, wasteful, and generally careless with the things around them, but it would be unfair for me to say that of humans specifically. Most non-quarians are like that anyway. I think it depends a lot on the individual. I've met dangerous humans on the Citadel. And there was one in particular who tried to have me killed… Some are suspicious of other species, like Ashley or Pressly, but then some are genuinely friendly, like Dr. Chakwas, Lieutenant Alenko, Chief Engineer Adams, Joker – the pilot... And then there's Shepard… He's been the best thing to happen to me since I left the flotilla. He's brave, kind and respectuous. He doesn't understand how quarians feel about the geth, but from what I can tell up to now, I would like to think he's the best of them all… and that he can be trusted… "

There was a pause as Tali seemed lost in her thoughts and Liara considered the rather non-specific impressions the quarian had conveyed. What Tali had said about Shepard though, coincided with what she felt. Shepard definitely seemed to be an exceptional person.

Apparently, Tali decided it was time to move on and walked back to the other side of the crate. "Time is leaking away… I suggest we continue now that your suit problem is solved." Looking at the dismantled shotgun, she added "As I said before, a good way to learn how to take care of your weapon is to disassemble it and reassemble it until your hands know were each piece goes… I think we already covered the most important points. While you reassemble it…" She turned and looked at the spot where the armored vehicle normally stood. "…I'll install the holographic training system. With the Mako away, we have more than enough space for that." Turning back to look at her, she added "We'll have some time for target practice before Garrus' turn comes."

Liara nodded, remembering the next item on her training schedule: 'Basic Principles of Sniping - Prey or Predator.' The title – probably written by the turian himself, was a little pompous compared to the laconic 'Shotgun' that the quarian had titled her own contribution. She shrugged and, while Tali moved away to start on her own task, she concentrated her attention on hers, trying to remember how every piece had been removed. It was not very difficult in fact and she quickly understood the logic behind it; each piece had its function and this dictated its location in regard to the others. All in all, it took her no more than three minutes for the last piece to lock in place with a satisfying 'click.' She looked the gun over, and was happy for a brief moment, savoring her victory as her weapon seemed to have a recognizable shape and no extra piece was left on the crate.

With nothing else to do right now, she turned, leaned on the crate and watched the quarian who, a short distance away, was busy interfacing some holographic pads on the floor of the cargo hold. But it was pretty boring and her thoughts soon turned inward. She reconsidered – again - her decision to stay on the ship and help Shepard. For more than a day now, she had been slowly realizing the enormity of what she had agreed to. The implications went so much further than what she had thought at first. And wearing armor was the least of them. Not that it changed her resolve, however. No matter how she analyzed the situation, going along with the human Spectre definitely was the best way for her to reach Benezia and try to help her. _Will I even be able to help you, Mother?_

Her thoughts drifted to what had happened at the dig site. The geth attack had been directed at her, more because of what she knew than because of who she was. To some extent, and despite her better judgment, she did feel responsible for all the losses. She closed her eyes, thinking of the victims, the workers she had hired and who were now dead because of her. _Such senseless loss._ Then there was the utter destruction of the prothean ruin, the loss of most of her data and the many artifacts she had collected. _Irreplaceable, unique pieces_. With Shepard's permission, she had used the terminal in the med bay's laboratory to send a message to her colleagues at the Institute of Prothean Studies, letting them know of what had happened and that she would be unavailable for some time. They would have to deal with the mess on Therum... But Shepard's revelation made all of that seem unimportant. _The reapers… the fate of the galaxy._ It fitted so well with what she had found out during all those years of painstaking and patient fieldwork. All those old fragments of information came together as the pieces of the weapon she had just reassembled – she looked at the shotgun in her hands. Shepard's revelation had been the last piece, locking in place with a satifying 'click,' making the whole picture emerge.

She was lost in her thoughts when Tali, having finished with her task, came back to where she stood beside the crate. She was startled when the quarian picked up the weapon from her hands and started inspecting it.

She touched a button and the weapon extended smoothly with a series of soft clicking sounds. As far as Liara could tell, the quarian appeared pleased as she said "Good job. It probably won't blow in your face…" Seeing her perplexed expression, the quarian chuckled, adding "I was joking… If it was not put back in the right way, it just wouldn't work. Fortunately, these things never explode…" Tali pressed on another button and the shotgun started humming. "See? It works!"

Showing a small button on the underside of the gun, Tali explained "this inactivates the mass effect generator in order to shoot blanks. It's not ideal because you won't feel the recoil, but it's necessary for target practice inside a ship…" She pressed the button and the humming of the gun changed in tone.

Tali led Liara to the virtual shooting range and, in the minutes that followed, showed her how to hold the shotgun, how to point it, how to monitor its heating and at what distances it became one of the best weapons around. They practiced shooting on holograms of various enemies at different distances, the VI from the targeting system analyzing the effectiveness of each shot. After a while, Tali used a compilation of the results to explain what she thought was the most important point "You see, it's exactly as I said. This is mostly a short range weapon. If the target is too far, it becomes completely inefficient and you should then switch to another weapon-"

"Like a sniper rifle!" Both Tali and Liara turned in surprise at the loud and characteristically turian voice. Sitting on the very same crate they had been using as a table not long before, Garrus was looking at them with what was supposed to be a smile. He jumped down from the crate and walked toward them . "Time's up, Tali… And really, shotguns are for brutes. I believe Liara needs to be introduced to cleaner, more sophisticated methods."

Lowering her weapon as Tali had shown her, Liara looked at Garrus as he approached, struck by his demeanor. He was exuding self confidence in such an exaggerated way that it was almost comical. The shadow of a smile insinuated itself on her face.

But Tali's tone was sarcastic as she replied "You should have been here earlier… then maybe you could have learned a thing or two. I'm sure you're no stranger to brutish things."

Surprised, Liara glanced at Tali who, arms crossed in front of her chest, was looking straight back at the turian.

As he got closer, Garrus addressed Liara "She's been treating me like that ever since I voiced my opinion on how quarians are responsible for our current geth problem… And she did not relent even after I apologized…"

Tali also turned to her, continuing in the same tone "He apologized just because Shepard asked him to. Remember what I said about non-quarians in general being impolite and loud? This applies double with him."

Still looking at her, Garrus added "See how obstinate she can be?"

Liara didn't know what to say. They were sparring with words and though the tone was light, there was an unmistakable undercurrent of rivalry. She did not dare intervene, lest her clumsiness made her take sides in this childish game.

Tali extended a hand, taking the shotgun from hers, saying "Liara, I have to go back to engineering… I'll put your weapon back in your locker on my way out. Just don't let him take advantage of you." She then turned to Garrus, pointed a finger at him and said in what appeared to be a fake threat "Don't worry, one of these days, I'll find a way to shut you up." For a brief moment after that, Tali looked at the weapon in her hands and then at the turian again. Finally, she turned on her heels and moved purposefully across the cargo hold.

As Tali reached the row of lockers close to Ashley's workstation, Garrus glanced at Liara "Hmm… It had to be a joke… I mean, she wouldn't really threaten me with a shotgun, would she?"

Liara, still surprised by the unexpected turn of events, didn't know what to say and decided to remain neutral. Looking at Garrus, she said "are you so sure?"

Garrus was perplexed by that. "You're scaring me. I admit having had some fun pushing her buttons since we met on the Citadel, but… Coming from C-Sec, you'd think I would recognize when someone… even a quarian… was pushed too far. Maybe I'll cut her some slack for a while… just to play it safe."

Both looked on as Tali, having stowed the gun away in Liara's locker, moved to the other end of the hold and disappeared through a door to engineering.

Turning to Liara, Garrus smiled broadly "You know, I can think of only a few worse ways to ruin my perfect face than to have somebody take a shotgun to it…"

* * *

**Hefty author's note: **

To get 'in character' with Liara, I tried to imagine how an asari might be thinking. As a consequence of their incredibly long lifespan, I imagine them to be – in general - a little detached from people of other species. I also imagine them somehow smug in the knowledge of being the longest living, oldest and most civilized species in the galaxy (the asari are the ones that discovered the Citadel) with a kind of superior, aristocratic attitude toward the others… Liara, being a product of her culture, necessarily would have internalized this attitude (she 'knows' on an unconscious level that she is of the elite), even if she would likely deny it on a conscious level (I'm convinced that she is a kind, 'good hearted' person). The way I see those internalized prejudices is a little like that of a stereotypical liberal white person from a big city in the western world, visiting a village somewhere in Africa (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) – you probably see what I mean… The white person may think of him/herself as having few if any prejudices, and may even be a good, kind-hearted person, but he/she ends up being insensitive anyway (mostly by ignorance, but then again he/she may be convinced of his/her role as a 'missionary' of civilization), transgressing local rules and ways of doing things, and the locals do not want – out of politeness mostly, but also maybe out of some inferiority complex – to put this loudmouthed stranger in his/her place. Prejudices are omnipresent and can manifest in many ways, from the laughably obvious to the very subtle.

Because of their longevity and the consequent psychological impact this has on their outlook on life and things like relationships (and despite their shockingly human-like appearance), asari feel very alien to me. More so than any other species Shepard can develop a relationship with in the game (turian, drell, quarian). I have a tough time wrapping my mind around the fact that, if we were to assume a lifelong relationship between Liara and Shepard for example, Shepard would die when Liara would be around 200 years of age, still very young by asari standard. To put that into a human lifespan perspective: how would you feel toward someone you love if you knew right from the start that he/she would grow old and frail and die in your arms in the span of five to ten years… How would that 'color' your relationship?

**Liara: Mass-Effect's official Mary Sue?**

The more I consider how Liara becomes involved with Shepard's mission, the more I see things that do not make much sense, or that are badly implemented and/or explained by Bioware.

The first thing that strikes me is that she seems to be all alone on that dig site on Therum. No sign of other workers or colleagues (dead or alive). I mean surely she was not doing all this digging alone; that wouldn't make any sense. Maybe her workers and/or colleagues were all away on vacation, on a supply run or something when the geth attacked? Or maybe everyone else was killed? But we just don't see any blood or burnt body or anything… And there are several other questions: having no relationship with Benezia anymore, where did she get all the resources needed to pursue her research? She apparently has been researching the protheans for the last 50 years: it takes money to travel all around the galaxy, and much more to actually dig around prothean ruins. My theory is that she probably is affiliated with the history faculty of some asari university, participating in digs and all. Her title (Dr. T'Soni) probably means she's got the equivalent of a PhD although this is never explained or confirmed in ME1 or ME2. But being considered as barely more than a child by other asari, I doubt she would have a high position in academic ranks… probably not a tenured professor. Maybe she is more like Indiana Jones… but she would still need to be affiliated with some official institution.

The second thing that strikes me is that she appears completely unfazed by her losses on Therum. A number of assistants, employees, graduate student(s) and maybe colleagues and/or friends were likely killed. She probably has lost most of her personal stuff (she escaped with only the clothes on her back). She probably also has lost a large part of her work since she started on that dig (notes, collected artifacts, etc). Despite all of this - on top of the stress due to the fighting and the quick escape from the crumbling prothean ruins - she appears eerily detached during the debriefing just after Therum. Strangely, it's what is being said during the debriefing that seems to get to her: what has become of her mother (her association with Saren) and the fate of the protheans. In the game, this is all summarized by Liara feeling weak and wanting to retire for a while and make sense of it all. Liara's casual attitude as she discusses everything with the ground team during the debriefing could be interpreted as her being under shock and taking refuge behind her intellectual façade (I'm giving her a chance here at not being a total sociopath). Underneath that façade however is probably a very strong person with incredible resilience… And she would have to be like that, with her history of having left her mother behind at such a young age to fend for herself in academia and on dig sites.

The third thing that strikes me about Liara: when I was replaying the game (doing some research for this 4th chapter), I was struck by how much Liara talks and seems to 'own' the floor during the debriefing just after Therum. Not only that, but she also starts gushing over Shepard right away and in front of everybody as she learns he survived an interaction with a prothean beacon, earning a 'vision' in the process. As Liara gushes on, Ashley basically cuts her off and, in all her bitchy glory, disses her in front of everybody. It's still early in the game at that point, but this can be seen as setting the tone, announcing the possibility of a catfight between Ash and Liara for Shepard's attention. But, as discussed in the first paragraph of this author's note (up there), this could also be interpreted as Ashley wanting to put Liara in her place as a consequence of her 'arrogant' asari behavior (behaving as if she 'owned' the place).

The fourth thing that strikes me about Liara: how does she make the transition from being an awkward archeologist - that has just been the victim of a kidnapping or assassination attempt - to a full member of Shepard's ground team. This cannot be denied: Among Shepard's recruits, Liara is without doubt the least combat ready when she joins up (Ash and Kaidan are both military, Tali has had some training, Garrus did his military service and was part of C-Sec, and Wrex has centuries of fighting experience). When Shepard goes to visit her in the med bay 'laboratory' for the first time, we learn that she has been dealing with wildlife and the occasional mercenary (threatening her on isolated archeological dig sites) with her biotics… However, it is highly doubtful she has had any formal training in anything that looks like the military, and probably has had no training with armor and/or weapons. In the game, of course, you can slap some armor on her right away, give her a gun, and there you go…

All of this simply to say that I think Liara is the official Mary Sue of the Mass Effect series. Everything she does succeeds incredibly. You'd drop her in the middle of the Sahara with a piece of string and a pocket knife and, two years later, she would be the 'Queen of the Sahara'. She can't die, she can't do anything wrong… The more I try to understand the character Bioware gave us, the more I think she's too much (in the sense that her abilities are so high that it is not credible). All the other characters have had to train hard or have been at the receiving end of some tough challenges - that were not of their own choosing - in order to become what they are, and most have a dark side or some flaw (well, Kasumi may be an exception although not much was said about her training…). Miranda was 'made' and had to escape her 'maker' to become what she is. Zaeed had to fight all his life. Jacob was a military. Shepard had to go through years of training. But Liara? She leaves home on a whim (her choice), decides to do archeology and bang! She becomes Dr. T'Soni, a galaxy renowned prothean expert even if she's only 106 years old (okay, it did take her 50 years of research to get there… I certainly hope I could get a PhD in less than 50 years…). She gets on the Normandy and presto change-o! She becomes an asari superfighter. She decides to get Shepard's body back and Shazam! There he is. She decides to become an information broker and Abracadabra! She becomes the best on Ilium. She storms the Shadow Broker's ship and Hocus Pokus! She becomes the new Shadow Broker without breaking a sweat… Sorry, I'm getting a nauseating overdose of Mary Sue here...


	5. Adams' Pupil

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

This chapter is set just before the Feros mission, something like a couple of weeks after Tali got onto the Normandy. She's helping Chief Engineer Gregory Adams in his Alliance-related side-job, which is to investigate space debris.

The idea is based on a small detail in the game (ME1). As you certainly remember, scanning planets sometimes leads to discoveries (Matriarch writings, salarian dogtags, etc). At some point, scanning planet Wermani results in the following boxed text "Scans of the planet Wermani turned up a few odd readings. Chief Engineer Adams fine-tuned the scans and discovered an automated repair drone in orbit. Tali and Adams brought the drone on board to dismantle it and found a Prothean data disc at its core."  
I will not be describing this specific incident, however.

There is an author's note, appended at the end of the chapter for those who are interested.

Also: special thanks to Vocarin whose beta reading helped (a lot) to improve this chapter.

**Please don't forget to review! Comments and opinions of all stripes are more than welcome.**

* * *

**chapter 5: Adams' Pupil.**

Blinking sporadically, Adams slowly and systematically scanned pages of numbers and charts on his terminal, the summary of multiple measurements made by his crew in the last few days. Taking his time, he checked the data once again to make sure everything was adding up and that he was not missing anything. He grunted. _Not good, but could be worse._ Maintaining a machine, however sophisticated, had always been and would always be a battle against entropy. Winning was out of the question – it was mathematically impossible after all - but one could hope for a stalemate, for some time at least. Now however, according to the numbers and despite all their efforts, the engineering crew was clearly in retreat. It was slow, but relentless. In practical terms, it meant that major repairs - in a dock - would be needed in ten days at most.

Apparently, despite all the credits that had been sunk into building the SSV Normandy, some corners had been cut. The harmonic absorbers in and around the fusion plant, for example, were definitely not doing their job. The vibrations from the fusion plant were not dampened appropriately, and that was probably why the new manifold was already cracking. _That's what happens with cheap components. _He brought up the latest X-ray on his screen and looked again at the telltale faint ground glass fuzziness in the strained areas of the part. Splitting the screen, he brought up the preceding week's image for comparison. He grimaced and shook his head as his gaze flicked between the images, noting how the micro-fractures had progressed. _So obvious already. _He sighed as he slumped in his chair.

Looking for something to lift his spirit, he glanced at the old-fashioned framed holo of his wife, daughter and son, magnetically affixed on the bulkhead beside the desk, one of the few personal items on display in his small office. It was old, a reminder of a more quiet time when his family was not yet spread around the Galaxy. On it, Lakshmi's face was lit by a wide and bright smile as she looked straight back at the camera, holding the kids close to her. He tried to smile back at her too, but it did not work. His mind was not into it and he just shook his head again as he considered how much the image contrasted with how she had not smiled at all one month ago, when he told her Anderson had asked specifically for him. The discussion had been long. He had argued that this would be the culmination of his career, but the only way he had finally swayed her was by solemnly swearing that this would be his last field assignment. He sighed as he took a last look at his beloved wife. _After that, I'll be happy to sit on my laurels in a cushy job on Arcturus Station, and come back to you every evening. _Despite the current worries however, being chief engineer on the Normandy was still worth any promise.

Bringing his attention back to the terminal in front of him, he closed the report and, instead, opened the latest iteration of the engineering requisition form. He checked it carefully, starting at the top with the critical components that would be needed as soon possible – including a new manifold and some good quality harmonic absorber – and then went through everything else, down to the nuts and bolts at the end. Along the way, he checked the codes for each part, corrected a few details and added a few minor items, including a few replacement tools. _There never seem to be enough of these to go around._ When he was happy with his work, he pressed the holographic 'send' button and smiled briefly, imagining the grimace on the XO's face as he opened his message box and saw the form and its contents. Pressly would want – he was sure of it – to double check and discuss every few items, making sure all was in order. He chuckled. _Pressly… damn fuddy-duddy._ He knew the obsessive nature of the man… But he also knew that he was a good man and a friend. In a way, it was reassuring to know that nothing would slip by the high-strung Navigator...

The next thing he brought up on his terminal was the schedule for the coming days. He was still bitter at the rejection of his recommendations to have a total crew of six engineers, despite the fact that the Tantalus core was still not fully tested. The hours of work, as he had expected, quickly turned out to be horrendous because of all the monitoring and the extra maintenance due to several unforeseen issues. _What a bunch of fools... Who ever heard of a prototype running smoothly, with no problems._ Things had been especially ugly on their way back from Eden Prime, and he had been almost ready to make a fuss about it… Fortunately, Tali had happened right about that time, as if a god somewhere had noticed his despair and sent an angel – _a fiery shotgun-wielding angel,_ if what he had heard about some of the ground missions was even half true. Because of her role on the commander's team, he could not include her on the schedule, but she had been there whenever more hands had been needed, working efficiently and learning at an unbelievable rate. Despite the long hours, morale was still good in engineering, and it was in no small part thanks to her.

Thinking about Tali, his mind suddenly issued a red flag and then, after a few moments of searching, it hit him: _the wreck!_ It was on today's schedule right in front of his eyes and he was – he checked the time – already late. _Shit!_ He tried to accelerate his work, but there were few things in the world he hated more than a botched job, and he ended up going through the schedule barely faster than usual, rearranging the 'to do' list as best he could. It did not take long for him to calm down however as he knew that, having dismantled one other wreck together a few days before, she would know how to proceed and would likely start the job by herself. Once he was finished, he logged the updated schedule in the ship's system, got up from his chair and moved out of his small office.

As he came out into the service corridor, …_Wow!_ He saw ensign Rahman too late and almost ran her into the bulkhead. But she was quick and reacted by twisting aside in the narrow space in such a way that he missed her by half a centimeter.

Turning to him, the lithe dark haired young engineer exclaimed "Geez, Chief… You want to send me to med bay?"

"Sorry, Rahman… I was in a rush…" He considered her for a second, and a frown cerased his brow. "...Aren't you and Tucks supposed to be calibrating the wings' thermoelectric rods? Is there a problem?"

She just smiled back, shaking her head. "The problem is that the rod job went fast and smooth! …wait, that came out wrong…" She grimaced as Adams chuckled, but shrugged and continued "…Anyway, we're about fifty minutes ahead of schedule, and I wanted to check with you if we can skip the break and go on right away with the coolant pump repair in feeder pipe eleven."

"Ahead of schedule? That's a first!" He brought a hand to his chin while he thought about the unusual request. "I have no objection at all… as long as you ok this with Pressly first. If he objects, then you win an extended break. Also remind him and Joker that no more than ninety percent of core power will be available during the procedure."

Enthusiastically, she nodded her understanding. "Yes Chief!"

Their separate destinations being close together at the other end of the corridor, they started walking in the same direction. As they reached the door to the workshop, the woman said over her shoulder, "I'm so glad you and the quarian like tinkering with these pieces of junk…" She turned her head and winked at him. "Personally, I never liked wasting my time with the old stuff."

He smirked as he paused to look at her, his hand hovering mere centimeters above the door control. "You're so picky, Rahman. One day, you'll see how the old stuff is more reliable, less volatile than the young."

She snorted at his lame reply and waved him off as she continued ahead. "Volatility is more fun, Chief…" She turned around to face him as she continued on her way, walking in reverse toward the core room, and said, "By the way, watch out for your ears in there. The quarian was using a grinder when I came in looking for you two minutes ago."

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Indeed, as soon as the workshop's door opened, he was greeted by a high-pitch grinding noise on top of the noise from the air filtration system, which seemed to be in overdrive. Her back to him, Tali was busy with a heavy duty grinder, apparently fighting against some uncooperative piece of metal covering on the four meter long cylindrical probe suspended in mid air right in the middle of the room. He grunted his approval as he saw that she wearing one of the crew's thick protective apron as well as a face shield that she had adapted to fit over her helmet. _Safety first, always._ He didn't care if she had a suit already and how sturdy it was. Extra protection was a must for that kind of job.

Quickly, before his old eardrums could get any more damage, he fished his small ear protectors from one of his many pockets and put them on. His wife had bought the small 'intelligent' noise cancelling devices for him sixteen years ago and they were still doing their job. _That's reliability for you._ He smiled as he considered again Rahman's double entendre. He didn't mind her jokes - they were not that bad, really - but her peculiar humor would probably get her in trouble eventually with more uptight officers.

With the noise now tolerable, he slowly approached the wreck, taking care to stay away from the grinder and the arc of sparkling metal fragments ejected from its left side. The mass effect suspensors holding the heavy object in the air had been well adjusted and it was barely moving, even when Tali was putting more pressure on her tool. He could see that she was already quite far along in her work as several panels from the thing's outer shell were now lying on the ground - and most of its innards could be seen in the uncovered places: wires, electronic components and other things that would have to be identified later. As far as he could tell, the panel she was working on seemed to be the last that needed to come off.

Despite the absence of external markings, the shape of the wreck and the look of the few components he could see, as well as the way they were organized practically screamed 'turian property.' He had studied too many of their spacecrafts during his career not to recognize the style. But several other questions remained:what was its purpose, how did it end up orbiting this specific asteroid in the middle of nowhere, and what secrets did it hold? Hopefully, answers would be forthcoming as they completed the procedure.

Not knowing when Tali would be finished with the grinding, he turned to the terminal near the entrance. It was already on and its screen displayed the Alliance formal checklist for the reporting of wreckage. He scrolled back to the top of the form and reviewed the information Tali had already entered, including the X-ray scan as well as the holos she had taken before starting to remove the covering panels. Weight, measurements, radiation readings, everything seemed to be there. He was impressed by how much she had done during his thirty minutes of absence. He slowly scrolled down the form and saw that she had already determined it was turian in origin and, possibly, a mineral scanner probe. That's when a sudden clanging noise from behind, muffled by his protective gear, made him jump in surprise.

Turning around, Adams saw that the noise had come from the panel Tali had been working on, as it had fallen on the floor. He looked on as Tali turned her tool off, lifted her face shield and stepped closer to peer into the new opening in the wreck's hull. Apparently satisfied with what she saw, she stepped back and turned around. She didn't seem surprised to see him standing there. Quickly, she raised a hand to the side of her helmet, probably to re-adjust her helmet's audio input and said "Hey, Chief!"

He smiled as he removed his ear protectors. Fortunately, the smoke and dust from the grinding had completely cleared already and the air filtration system had downshifted automatically to a much lower and quieter setting. "Hey! …found your pilgrimage gift yet?"

Tali scoffed. "I would be the most lucky of all quarians if we found anything of value in this… thing. Apart from the small eezo core, that is."

Coming closer and looking over her shoulder at the wreck, he said, "Well… sometimes it's just a question of mindset. Looking at something from a different angle, you may find that it has more value than you thought at first."

She looked back at him, chuckling briefly. "I understand what you mean, but this…" she pointed at the probe, "…will look like junk from any angle. Still, it's funny how much you remind me of my ship's Elders when you talk like that."

It was his turn now to chuckle at her comment. It was not the first time she had compared him to the 'Elders,' which he understood to be wise old persons of sorts. He shrugged and pointed at the wreck hanging in the air behind her. "Good thing you started without me… you're already pretty far along..."

She glanced at the large holographic clock on the wall. "Yes, I decided to start right away. The first procedures are easy enough."

He nodded his approval. Looking at the probe again, he asked, "How did you find out this thing is turian? And why do you think it's a mineral scanner?"

She replied without hesitation. "Easy. Any quarian will tell you that turian constructions are very solid, but also very tough to salvage, repair or modify… I assumed it was turian because of how difficult it was to remove the outer panels. It's their welding technology, with the nanotubes and all... Then it was easy to confirm my first impression with the writing on the parts inside. As for the mineral scanning, it's more of an educated guess, I'm afraid… When I looked at the components at the extremity…" she pointed at the 'head' of the probe, out of which some wires were dangling, "…I saw components that are similar to those we use in some of our mineral scanners back home, which also are of turian make."

"Hum…" He frowned in concentration as he moved toward the end she had indicated. Since the First Contact War, every Alliance engineer knew in details about the turian welding technique, renowned for its strength due to the use of nanotubes to direct the flow of current in a more efficient way during the process. Parts of the Normandy were built using the same technique. But he had never thought of its consequences on the salvaging end of things. _Sound thinking on her part… Intuitive, but sound. _He peered at the crowded circuitry inside the opening. Sure enough, standing out from the other pieces, there was a large antenna like device that probably was the scanner itself. He turned toward her and said, "You're probably right about the mineral scanning, but we'll have to confirm that later… Now, we have to proceed with the evisceration and identification of each component… Maybe that will be enough to demonstrate what the probe was used for. We also have to determine why or how it got lost or forgotten in orbit around that asteroid."

During the next hour or so, Tali and Adams meticulously inspected every square centimeter of the hull, every cable, every pipe, every electronic component as they systematically cut out and removed everything that was inside the probe. They found no evidence of weapon discharge or any other significant damage that could have been caused by the impact of some rock or debris. When they removed the small fusion cell, they found that it simply had run out of fuel, as its small tank was completely empty and with no evidence of rupture or leak. By exclusion, the conclusion was that the probe simply had ceased to function, either lost or forgotten by its owners, or maybe even discarded, victim of unfavorable cost/benefit considerations.

During the dismantling, Adams noticed that Tali was glancing frequently at the clock and he was starting to wonder why she seemed so interested by the time. But he shrugged it off and, together, they went on with the tedious task of cataloguing the components. Fortunately, all the parts had turian identification numbers and, using the Alliance database again, they were quickly able to identify most of them, including what indeed turned out to be a mineral scanner. All the pieces were approximately seventy-five years old, and this was most likely the age of the probe itself.

All in all, this was turning out to be a disappointing exercise, and he was happy that it was almost over. "We're almost done, Tali… We only have to extract any remaining data from the probe's 'brain,' and then we can cut the body in smaller pieces, dump everything in a crate and take a break."

When they had extracted the probe's central processor, they had taken care to keep the memory banks together with it, hoping to be able to extract their contents, if any was still there after so many years in space. Turian electronics was not that complicated and it was easy for Tali and him to rig a regular power supply in order to reactivate the interesting circuits in isolation from the rest of the components.

As they were starting to connect the leads from the probe's processor to the workshop's multi-analyzer, Adams caught her again as she glanced at the clock. He asked "That clock sure looks attractive… You have an appointment or something?"

"What? No…" She shrugged "Well, I guess that's almost what it is… I was just thinking that I'm probably going to miss Shepard's visit to engineering."

"Ah, yes… He's quite regular with his daily rounds, now that you mention it... Not sure I've seen any CO come down to see us as often. Then again, it helps keep the morale up." He smiled as he checked the connections he had made up to that point. "And you two seem to have lots of things to talk about…"

She nodded as she gave him a few additional wires. "Yes… He certainly has been helping with my morale too."

In silence, they continued working for a while on the leads around the processing unit, Tali using polymer tweezers to hold a tangle of wires at bay, providing him with enough working space to connect additional wires with alligator clips. That's when he realized something and suddenly felt guilty. "Ah… I'm sorry about that… Maybe we'd be finished already if I had not been half an hour late to start with."

She didn't look back at him as she replied, "Oh… No. That's all right. …Maybe it's better that way."

That certainly was a curious way to react and he was genuinely intrigued. He hooked the last wires to the analyzer and, while he was setting up the instrument to synchronize with the probe's processor, he asked, "Better that way? What do you mean?"

She seemed to fumble a bit, trying to find the right words "Well… I have a tendency to talk too much when he comes… I mean… I'm sure he has more important things do than to listen to the ramblings of a quarian pilgrim…"

He scoffed at that and turned to her. "You worry too much, Tali. He's the CO and I'm pretty sure that he'd tell you to shut up and do your job if he didn't actually want to talk with you." A chime brought his attention back to the analyzer which had issued several error messages, each suggesting how to change the connections to improve the analysis. They continued working for a few minutes, Tali shuffling the connections around as he called them from the analyzer's screen. When the final changes were made, he pressed the holographic 'start' button and turned toward Tali. "Now we just wait for this thing to do its magic. I hope there is something left in there…"

Thinking about what they had been discussing just a few minutes before, he had an idea. "Tali, I can't honestly pretend to understand how the commander thinks or anything like that… but as I said earlier, sometimes it pays to look at things from another angle. Maybe he actually likes talking with you… Or maybe he just needs it, in a way… maybe it's a question of morale for him too."

She seemed to be weighing his words for a few seconds before replying, a smile in her voice. "Your perspective is certainly interesting… I will think about that."

He chuckled, a little uneasy at the seriousness with which she had greeted his advice. _Hope I'm not wrong... counseling is not really my forte_. He smiled at her again. "Hum... No worries kiddo. That's what age and experience are for…" Realizing what he had just said, he changed his expression to one of mocked severity as he continued, "…Now, before you refer to them again, I'm not old enough yet to be an Elder, so don't even bring that up!"

The analyzer chimed again and Adams saw that it had adapted to the probe's processor and issued a list of options. From there, it took only one minute to find that some data had in fact survived in the probe's memory banks, and only one more to download it all. Maybe he would look into it later if he had enough time. In any case, the data would be appended to the report and sent to Alliance headquarters where a code-cracker would eventually take a look at it to determine if it was valuable or not. He doubted anything would come out of it - any data in there would be as old as the probe an probably not relevant anymore - _but you never know_.

The main part of the job was finished, but there still remained the final dismantling and packaging until they could drop everything at an Alliance facility. Considering the shape and size of the probe, Adams decided that five cuts would be necessary to fit everything in one large crate. Together, they marked the planes of section along what remained of the probe, adjusted the suspensors, and Tali grabbed the laser cutter.

Just as he had put his ear protectors back on, along with a pair of laser goggles, and as Tali was positioning herself to start cutting, her face-shield lowered again, the door to the workshop opened and Rahman came in, looking around.

Adams turned to her "What's up Rahman? You finished with the pump repair?"

"Yes... no problem there Chief. In fact we were cleaning up after the restart when the commander came on his rounds and asked a few questions, as usual…" She then pointed to Tali, "…Then he asked to talk with Tali. We told him she was busy here, but he asked if she could be temporarily relieved from her duties…"

Adams turned to smile triumphantly at Tali. "Ah! This pretty much confirms my theory!…" With both hands, he signaled for her to go away. "Go, Tali… leave the rest to us. Don't worry with it."

Apparently, Tali didn't need to be told twice. Without a word, she placed the laser cutter delicately on the floor, quickly removed her face shield and protective apron, dusted herself and made her way out, turning to him before going through the door. "Thank you, Chief…"

Looking at the door through which Tali had just disappeared, Rahman said, "I wonder what they are talking about all the time…"

Adams turned to her. "It's a question of morale, ensign Rahman."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Chief Engineer Gregory Adams (lieutenant) is an older guy. He's laid back, especially when compared with his high-strung friend Pressly. We don't get much personal history in the game, so this allows me to invent most of it. Let's say he's somewhere in his 50's, has a wife working on Arcturus Station (and waiting for him to come back and get a more quiet posting before retiring). He's probably worked with Anderson before (Anderson did hand-pick him for the job of Chief Engineer on the Normandy). He has two grown up kids. His oldest, a son, is a marine somewhere in the Alliance fleet. He has a daughter who he is a little disappointed with because she threw a promising scientific career away to follow a guy (who is now his good-for-nothing son in law) and settled somewhere on Earth… He generally is an easygoing boss in engineering, but demanding as to the thoroughness and quality of the work. He does not get angry easily, and tries to apply his authority in a soft way, unless circumstances dictate otherwise. He has a natural affinity for technology that could be similar in some way with Tali's (Tali is probably better, but he has more experience). He's somewhat of a practical philosopher, trying to accept things as they come in a positive way in opposition to Pressly's somewhat negative/cynical attitude.

Adams probably has a mentor-pupil type of relationship with Tali. The best indication of that is Tali's comment in ME2 to the effect that "Adams' absence in engineering is difficult to get used to."

**Rationale behind the setting.** Part of the job of an Alliance engineer (this would be an Alliance directive) would be to investigate any findings like wreckage and such due to the constant need for data/intelligence gathering. I expect that there would be some sort of established procedure (a little like a forensic autopsy) for the examination and the reporting of any such finding. An official report would be sent to Alliance Headquarters along with data and or artifacts found. If the wreckage is small enough, maybe it would be sent to Alliance also for possible further processing.

On regular Alliance assignments, the finding of wreckage could be a relatively rare occurrence. But the Normandy flies around the galaxy and the finding of wreckage, old probes and such would be more frequent. I suspect most engineers are not thrilled at having to do this 'chore', as the chances of finding something significant are not that high and because they already have enough work on their hands maintaining the fusion plant, the drive core, the thrusters and other systems. Investigating wreckage would be seen as a lot of wasted time and useless paperwork. My version of Adams actually likes to do this; maybe he likes the 'thrill of the unknown,' maybe he really is excited at the prospect of finding something important? Having Tali around, with maybe more knowledge of other species' technology than he has could make the job even more interesting for him.

**Another way of understanding why Tali is so well treated in engineering.** The Normandy class of ship and the Tantalus Drive Core being experimental, they necessarily need more work than other ships. Verifications and diagnostic procedures are probably more frequent and there must be more things breaking down or in need of frequent re-adjustment. This must be taxing for the engineering crew, and I would expect all of the engineers to be quite happy when Tali shows up; anything (and anybody) to relieve their workload would be more than welcome.

**The layout of the Normandy SR1.** It has been pointed out elsewhere that the Normandy has many missing facilities (the most glaring being the complete absence of restrooms). As far as engineering is concerned, the absence of storage (for spare parts), tool racks or workshop might be a major problem as some problems can't be solved just by pressing a few buttons on one of the consoles. The workshop would have to be located between the cargo hold and the rest of engineering, with large enough doors opening to both in order for sizable pieces of machinery or other equipment to be moved through. The cargo hold should include some mobile lifting devices (with or without mass effect). The scene where a bunch of grunts had to carry – by hand - the nuclear bomb in Saren's base (on Virmire) was completely ridiculous when you think about it: there should be a lifting device to help in a situation like that!

**The Elders.** It's a shameless reference to a oneshot I wrote a few months ago: "Will of the Ancestors."

**Review, Review, Review: Don't forget to review!**


	6. Leaving the Nest

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

It's been a while, but this 'story' is not dead, far from it (I've got ideas for several more chapters); it's just that I'm a slow writer.

This chapter is set during the mission on Feros, in Garrus' POV. I felt like writing a chapter with a little more action instead of my usual (and rather static) dialogues. Garrus is just the guy for that kind of stuff.

Several fanfiction authors and reviewers have already pointed out how unrealistic many of the game's missions are, where Shepard can only deploy two teammates at a time. The game's missions in and around Zhu's Hope are like that, with Shepard (and two teammates) ending up doing everything while the rest of his crew stays on the Normandy, watching the paint dry. In a place like Zhu's Hope (under attack by hostile forces), it would make much more sense for him to deploy his team outside of the ship in order to secure the dock and protect the survivors at Zhu's Hope while he goes on the offensive at Exogeni's headquarters. Note that Bioware did something like that on Virmire where Shepard's team is seen in the STG camp, interacting with salarians. On Feros, it would probably make even more sense to have the Normandy go back in orbit where it would be safely stealthed instead of leaving it docked, where it is so vulnerable. But anyway, that's canon Bioware for you….

In this chapter, I try to make some sense of what happens in Zhu's Hope when the Thorian turns the colonists against Shepard's crew (while he's still at Exogeni's headquarters). It's the paragon version, where few colonists would be killed. Warning: no thorian creepers are included as everything happens in the first few minutes after the Thorian 'turns the switch'; the creepers would show up later, in time to greet Shepard.

The layout of Zhu's Hope is peculiar. Here is a quick description for those who have never played ME1 or just don't remember how the colony is set: Zhu's Hope is located on a roof near the top of an old ruined prothean skyscraper (Feros is mostly covered by a huge prothean city now in ruins) and consists of a crashed spaceship (a freighter called the _Borealis_), which is broken up in several separate segments or modules in which survivors of the colony have taken refuge. The main segment of the freighter- the only one you can go in (and through) during the game - is located along the path that connects the stairwell that leads to the dock (and the Normandy) to the stairwell that leads to the missions (going up to the skyway leads to the main mission at Exogeni's headquarters while going down to the tunnels leads to some side-missions).

For once, I don't have enough to rant about to justify appending a voluminous author's note at the end of the chapter. Yes, this is all you get... you lucky you!

Many thanks to Vocarin for beta-reading this chapter.  
My thanks also to all of my readers, especially to those who take the time to comment/review (to all other readers, that means: please take a few seconds to comment and/or review, as this is the only 'salary' fanfiction authors get for their efforts).

* * *

**Chapter 6: Leaving the Nest.**

Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec officer on leave (without pay), sat alone in the rudimentary sniper nest he had cobbled up using some of the debris lying around Zhu's Hope. It had been hard work bringing the stuff up on top of the main segment of the wrecked freighter - mostly a corridor that the surviving colonists used as a common area, with a few adjoining compartments, one serving as a makeshift clinic - but it had been worthwhile. Indeed, not long after Shepard had left in the Mako with Kaidan and Wrex, the geth had started a series of small-scale attacks. From his strategic position, he had almost single handedly defended the place, scoring more kills than all the other defenders combined. _There's nothing quite like a well-placed sniper_.

His nest was located above the access door at one extremity of this portion of ship, and approximately midway between the stairwell leading to the skyway and tunnels, and the stairwell leading to the dock. To be fair, it was not a perfect location, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances. From his vantage point, he could watch over most of the settlement's perimeter with only a few blind spots. More importantly, he could watch over the two stairwells from which all the attacks had come so far.

Garrus craned his neck and scrutinized the top of the ruins looming above the settlement. These structures, delimiting two of the sides of Zhu's Hope, were a source of much concern for him. He still could not understand why no geth snipers or rocket troopers had been positioned up there yet. He kept expecting them to show up at any moment. After all, weren't the synthetics able to drop units almost anywhere? If the geth had been really serious about taking the colony, they would have mounted an all-out assault with those snipers and rocket troopers, combined with multiple synchronized drops on the settlement itself and attacks from the two stairwells. Maybe Zhu's Hope was a low priority objective? Or maybe they were too busy fending off Shepard's offensive at Exogeni's headquarters? _Useless speculations, officer Vakarian… Just do your job._

As he continued his surveillance, he could not help watching the colonists again. The conditions under which they were surviving were unbelievable. He had never seen a situation quite like this. _This place is a mess_. Briefly, he tried to imagine his father's reaction if he took a picture and sent it to him with a brief note: 'Hi father, this is my current posting'. He quickly chased the thought away. _No need to get my mood down_. Up to now, he was in fact rather satisfied with the results of his impulsive decision to follow Shepard. _Here at least, I'm making a difference_._ And I don't need to fill out three forms for every round I shoot. _All in all, he felt closer than ever to his long-held aspiration of meting out justice where it was most needed.

His eyes fell on Ashley Williams, whom Shepard had left in command while he was away. She was presently talking with the three colonists at the barricade near the stairwell to the dock. He still did not like her, despite her recent attempts at being nice. But he had quickly learned to respect her as a soldier. _She's tough, holds her ground under fire._ He was not sure she was a great squad leader, but he trusted Shepard's judgement on the matter. He himself might not be the perfect example of a disciplined turian, but he was turian enough to know how to work in a proper command structure.

Looking away from the soldier, he continued his survey and his observation of the colonists. Most seemed to be busy with one thing or another, but they were not doing much. Like the woman supposedly working on the water system. He could see her from where he stood if he leaned a little on his left. Through the scope of his rifle, he saw her shaky hands on the holographic console in front of her, repeating what seemed to be the same procedures, over and over. He shook his head as he recalled meeting her for the first time earlier in the day. She had sounded bizarre when Shepard had tried to get information out of her. In fact, all the humans they had talked to - and even the salarian merchant- had sounded a little off. But these civilians had been under attack for several days now and maybe this could all be attributed to the accumulated stress.

That's where he was in his reflections when his stomach decided to make its unhappy state known, by twisting painfully once, then again… and then a third time_. I should have taken that extra ration this morning._ They had fought practically all day, and his body had long forgotten the not-so-substantial breakfast he had had more than ten hours before. He was running low on water and the last of the few protein cookies he usually kept on hand, just in case, had disappeared down his gullet more than two hours ago. _This would never have happened in C-Sec_. Sure, C-Sec had enough regulations to smother a tresher maw, but some of them – especially those relating to lunch breaks – were not that bad. But then again, he would not exchange his current situation with the one he had left behind… even for all the dextro food in the galaxy.

Stoically, he managed to ignore his growing hunger as he continued his vigil. Soon however, his attention was drawn to the barricade near the stairwell to the skyway and the tunnels. The quarian and the asari had appeared there, having finished their patrol. They stood a few meters from Fai Dan, the acting leader of the colony, who seemed to be anchored in the same spot since the Normandy had docked. He could not quite hear what the two women were talking about, but the conversation seemed quite lively.

Garrus had had few interactions with the asari apart from a few hours of training. She was a serious 'woman' and tended to stay away from the rest of the crew, likely trying to come to terms with what had happened on Therum. She seemed a decent person as far as he was concerned, and he had been ready to accept the commander's words as to her trustworthiness, despite her mother's affiliation. _Children are not always like their parents_. Considering his own situation in that regard, he had no difficulty dealing with this concept.

Tali was something else however. The few quarians he had dealt with on the Citadel had all been ready to grovel in order to get away from the mostly petty accusations directed against them. But she had stood up to him right from the start. This had irritated him at first, but after some time - and helped in no small part by the overheard 'talk' Shepard had given Williams - he had come to a new understanding. After the shotgun incident in the cargo hold, he had tried not to provoke her too much and she seemed to be less guarded in his presence, a definite sign of progress. She certainly had a spine, and he respected that.

He continued his surveillance and, after a few minutes, he looked again at his two teammates. Tali had taken a few steps away and seemed busy with her helmet while Liara was talking with Williams, who had joined them behind the barricade. As his stomach twisted again, Garrus realized that Tali was in the process of removing a tube of food from her helmet's feeding slot. _She's been eating!_ He grunted as he looked on with envy. It was common knowledge that quarians and turians could share most of their food. Quarians had to make sure proper sterilization had been performed before eating, but turians had nothing to fear in principle. A few colleagues in C-Sec had tried quarian nutrient paste and the general opinion was that it was edible, but pretty bland and not really worth the effort. None of them had been as hungry as he was now, though. _Maybe she's got more._

The idea roamed through his skull for no more than fifteen seconds before his will surrendered to his hunger. Using his omnitool, he sent Tali a request for a private comm channel. From his position, he could see her reaction as the message arrived. She got her own omnitool running and turned to look back at him.

"Garrus! What can I do for you?"

"Tali… I couldn't help but notice that you were eating just now…" He had not given much thought to how he would phrase his request, so he just blurted it out "…Would you happen to have any to spare for me?"

There was a pause on the other end as she undoubtedly considered the unusual request. "Well, I do have another tube with me… but I doubt you would like the taste…"

"I'm starving up here, Tali. As long as it's edible..."

Without hesitation, and to his relief, she replied "OK then, but I've got to discuss this with our overlord first… Let's see how she feels right now."

His shoulders slumped slightly. "Copy that, Tali… hmm… You know where to find me." He had his reservations on how Williams would react. His stomach had another spasm, but he managed to ignore it as he started to scan the perimeter another time.

When he eventually turned his attention to his teammates' location again, he saw what looked like the end of a discussion between Tali and Williams. The latter nodded and turned to look at him, extending a fist up in the air with the thumb sticking out upward. _Good_. He and his stomach were happy at the sight, recognizing the sign humans used to say 'ok'. Tali came back on the comm channel at this point. "Hold on Garrus, I'm coming to deliver your life-saving tube of dextro delicacy."

Not long after that, the ladder he had left leaning against the side of the freighter close to his position started to creak. Soon enough, he saw a gloved three-fingered hand appear on the top rung, then another, and Tali came over the edge. Walking over to his position, she called to him. "Hey, Garrus."

"Tali." He glanced at her as she sat on the low wall of rubble beside him. He grunted his approval when his eyes fell on the object that appeared in one of her hands. It was a tube of clear polymer, filled with tan-colored paste.

"Ashley said you deserve the special treatment… so you can keep up the 'outstanding performance.' Do you want me to repeat everything she said in addition to referring to you as 'the birdman in his nest'?"

Garrus grimaced. "Please, spare me the details… I'm still not sure if I should be angry or flattered at being compared to some of her homeworld fauna. Besides, there was also the option of having some food delivered from the ship." He continued to scan the area, trying to stay sharp.

"That's exactly what I discussed with her. She said the situation is still too unstable and there aren't enough people for an escorted delivery. Anyway, giving you my spare tube is the easiest solution right now."

He flashed her a quick turian smile. "Thanks… I've heard the taste is not extraordinary, but it will keep me going for a while - if I can get it past my gizzard." He glanced at her again and added apologetically "I just hope I'm not eating your last tube or something…"

"Don't worry… I just found out a couple of days ago that Pressly managed to buy a few months' worth of nutrient paste before we left the Citadel. I still have to thank him for that... It's not easy finding tubes like these outside of the flotilla."

He grunted his understanding as he continued his survey of the perimeter, his sniper rifle across his lap. "Did Williams get any news from the commander?"

Tali sighed. "No… nothing. Joker thinks the geth are jamming Shepard's comm... But I'm sure he's alright." With more assurance, she continued. "No matter how many geth are over there, they don't stand a chance against him."

Since almost the very first day after they had left the Citadel, Garrus had noticed her enthusiasm for everything that concerned Shepard. She seemed to worship him as some kind of hero. _Maybe she still feels she owes him for her life_. But he would be the first to admit that the man was worthy of praise. He still did not understand why exactly, but the minute he had met the commander at the Citadel Tower, he had known that he was not just another human. The way he had handled the thugs in Dr. Michel's clinic and at Chora's Den back at the Citadel had confirmed his first impression. And in the last couple of weeks, everything the Spectre had done had only reinforced his opinion. _Shepard definitely knows how to get things done._

His silence apparently encouraged Tali to continue. "He should have taken me with him, but I understand his decision… There have been geth attacks here too, and his idea of helping the colonists was a good one, even if the people here don't really want me to lend them a hand…."

He snorted at her comment, glancing at her again as he grabbed the tube she was holding for him. "Ah, let me guess… you got more of the 'talk to Fai Dan' treatment?" He examined the thing in his hand, his talons testing the texture of the polymer envelope and what lay underneath. He turned the tube around, trying to locate an opening mechanism.

"Yes, exactly… These people are bizarre. It's like they are not entirely there. There was this strange man down in the tunnels. He didn't make any sense. He seemed to be in pain and talked of fighting something… I wonder if they are infected... or intoxicated? Maybe there is something in the water?"

Despite his attention being shared between Tali's conversation, the tube of nutrient paste that was refusing to reveal its secrets, and his job as a lookout, he managed to reply. "Whatever is the cause… I'm sure the ship's doctor will have a look at them as soon as Shepard's back here and the situation is under control… For now though…" His frustration had been growing as he could not see any way to open the food container. Finally, he turned to the quarian and asked "Can you open it for me? There must be some kind of a trick…"

Tali took the tube from his hand and he watched as she demonstrated. "Easy… You hold it like that and then you pull on this little fold, and when the fold is stretched, you can rip it away… like that."

He looked on with great attention. It was simple, really… once you had seen it done, that is. "Oh… thanks again." He took the tube back and turned to scan the perimeter one more time as he brought it to his mouth. It did not quite reach its destination however, as he noticed something bizarre happening all around the place. _What in the spirits... _All the colonists he could see were bent over or down on the ground, shaking violently as if taken by some seizure.

"Tali, look at the colonists!" He rose from the piece or rubble he was using as a seat and pointed at the people near the stairwell to the dock.

Tali took a step forward, coming to his side. "Keelah!, what's happening! …We should go down and help!…"

He shook his head. "You go... I can't leave my position… It would be really bad timing if the geth were to launch another attack right now."

Tali was hesitating at his side and, as he looked on, the colonists appeared to calm down and a few were even trying to get back up on their feet. "Whatever just happened, it seems to be abating… "

They were still looking on when they heard the first shot. It had come from behind and they both turned to see a couple of colonists on the raised walkway that ran along the back of the settlement. He could not believe his eyes. _What are they doing?! _Both humans had their handguns trained on Tali and him but, even from this distance, he could see that their hands were shaking, their aim unsure. He could also see their grimacing faces, as if in anger or in pain - human expressions were not always easy to read. He turned to look again at the colonists near the stairwell to the dock, and saw that they too were now pointing their weapons in his direction. _Spirits! That doesn't look good_. And they too started shooting, one round grazing Tali's shield, making it sparkle for a brief moment.

Holding his rifle, he threw himself down behind the low wall of his makeshift sniper nest, breaking the line of sight with the gun-toting humans. Tali did the same thing just outside of his rudimentary shelter, exclaiming "Keelah... This is insane!" He couldn't agree more.

Right then, Williams' voice came over the squad's comm channel. "They've turned hostile…"

Raising his head just a little above his rubble wall, he looked in Williams' direction. She was holding Fai Dan's face against the ground and had a firm lock on his arm while the man was struggling to get up or turn. Nearby, Liara had her own pistol trained on the bad-tempered security guard, Arcillia, who had been biotically lifted and was now slowly drifting away, arms flailing wildly.

He replied "Williams... As far as I know, it's the same thing all over the place…" Grimacing, he continued, his tone expressing a mixture of surprise and indignation at the totally unexpected turn of events. "...They're actually shooting at us!"

There was a pause, then Williams' voice came back online, her tone firm and decisive. "Listen up. These people seem to be under some sort of mind control… Fai Dan managed to tell me 'it' wants us 'purged' from Zhu's Hope… The situation is unclear, but our priority right now is to fall back to the dock and make sure the Normandy is secure. We'll reassess when this is done… Let's move quickly, while they may still be struggling against whoever or whatever is controlling them. Liara and me are going through the freighter and will emerge from it through the door just under your present position. We'll join our forces then and rush our way to the dock. Also… these people are not themselves… so… shoot only as a last resort. **Go!**"

More rounds whizzed by, forcing him to lower his head again. _Damn... One moment we're protecting the colony against the geth, then one moment later the whole colony turns on us..._ He wondered who could be controlling the humans. Could it be done without a control chip? Could the geth do this?

His reflexions were cut short however as Tali's voice came over his comm. "Keelah, Garrus... we were supposed to help the humans here... we can't leave them at the mercy of the geth!"

"I know... But Williams is right. We can't stay here either! Who knows what they'll do next... What if they start throwing explosives at us?" He shook his head. There really was nothing else to do but to regroup at the dock.

Garrus was confident Williams and Liara would make it through the freighter without much difficulty, as there were few colonists inside at any time. From there to the stairwell though, there would be more resistance... He had to know how many colonists they'd have to run over to get there. Carefully, he peered over the edge of his hastily erected fortification, and quickly assessed the situation. As soon as the colonists saw him, rounds started flying again, most passing too far overhead but a few raising small plumes of dust as they hit the rubble around him. Not even one hit his shield.

Satisfied, he got his head back to safety and was about to call Williams over the comm when Tali voiced her concern. "Garrus, we have to get down on the ground before they get to the door below us!"

Keeping his frustration in check, he replied curtly. "Yes… Wait a second, we'll do this together." He switched his comm back to the squad channel. "Williams, I saw five hostiles between my position and the stairwell. The nearest is at the power grid interface, then there is one at the water system controls and then there are three at the barricade. All have handguns except one at the barricade – a woman with an assault rifle." Even if the aim was poor, that weapon's rate of fire clearly was the real threat.

There was a short delay before the answer came. "Alright Garrus, we just neutralized the last of the three colonists in here. We're almost at the door… Liara's going to try and lift that riflewoman and then we'll just rush all the others."

"Aknowledged Williams. Give us thirty seconds. We'll start running as soon as we see the rifle lady in the air."

Quickly, he jumped over the wall of his sniper nest and crouched beside the quarian. He folded his sniper rifle and stowed it on his back, taking his assault rifle instead. Tali saw what he had done and unhitched her shotgun, which she promptly extended. Seeing that she was ready, he gestured at the ladder. "Let's go!"

At once, Tali jumped down the side of the freighter and landed in a crouch in the middle of a relatively flat area of rubble near the feet of the ladder, her powerful legs absorbing the impact.

Garrus was a little slower as he used the ladder to get a few rungs down before jumping too. Fortunately, neither of them got shot as they immediately went for cover behind one of the large slabs of stone lying just beside the freighter's hull, on the side of the pathway leading to their objective.

He knew that Williams and Liara would be there soon. He checked his weapon, hoping he would not have to use it. The colonists were innocent hostages after all, pawns in the hands of whoever was controlling them. _If I have to kill one of them, I'll make it as quick and painless as possible... _Chasing the dark thought, he turned his attention to the quarian at his side. "Be ready to run as soon as the rifle is out of the way."

There was a noise as the nearby door opened. Garrus risked a look over the edge of his cover, and was just in time to see a blue haze enveloping one of the colonists at the other end of the path in front of him. _Thank the spirits_. It was the right one. The woman, who had been standing at the barricade, started to drift upward and sideways, arms flailing and letting go of her assault rifle.

"**GO!**" he exclaimed, nudging the quarian at his side. They both jumped over their cover and started to run toward the four remaining colonists who were shooting in their direction, but with even less precision than before as they now were confused by the arrival of two new targets. From the corner of his eyes, Garrus saw that Williams and the asari were also running, but slightly behind Tali and him.

He decided to rush the nearest colonist, the woman hiding at the power grid interface. When he reached her, she was busy targeting one of his teammates with her handgun. Before she could press on the trigger however, he slammed his shoulder into her, sending her crashing against a metal panel. Quickly, he then hit the side of her head with the butt of his rifle and, as she slumped on the ground, he grabbed her weapon and threw it as far as he could in the rubble on the other side of the path. He briefly glanced back at the woman as he started to run again. She was not moving anymore. _I hope I didn't kill her._

He was joined along the way by Tali, who had subdued the woman at the water system controls. When they reached the barricade, the fight was already over and the two other colonists were on the ground, disarmed and moaning. Without a word, they turned as one and ran into the stairwell.

Fortunately, they met no one else until they got to the last doorway, the one that opened to the dock and the Normandy. Four of the Normandy's small detachment of marines were manning a barricade that had been erected just beyond that point. This was the only access route between the dock and Zhu's Hope, and the doorway acted as an easily defensible bottleneck. Garrus grunted his approval; the barricade had been put just in the right place.

They stopped only once they were safely behind the barricade and the marines. They were all panting and their mood was definitely dark. The marines too had dour expressions and, as everyone else, were probably wondering how worse things could still devolve.

After a few seconds, having caught her breath, Williams turned around and brought a hand to her ear. "Joker… you heard what happened in Zhu's Hope… Please tell me you have Shepard on the line."

They all heard the pilot's answer "Sorry Ash… Still not able to get through… "

Williams sighed and turned toward Tali. "You think the geth could be responsible for this?"

The quarian's answer was sharp and clear. "No. I've never heard of geth being aable to control minds. ...Geth do not enslave organics, they kill them."

The marines were whispering to one another as they kept watch over the doorway. Everybody was expecting a horde of mind-controlled colonists to appear at any moment and to throw themselves at the barricade. They had to defend the ship and would shoot if there was no other choice. But the reluctance at the very idea was palpable.

The minutes went by and Garrus was considering the situation, wondering what Williams would do next. They were basically waiting for news from Shepard. But how long should they wait? What if the commander needed help? Their access to the skyway was now cut-off by the situation at Zhu's Hope. Could they use the ship to assault Exogeni's headquarters from another location? He was sure similar questions were assailing Williams and he did not envy her.

After some more time, Joker's voice came again on the general comm channel. "Damn!"

Williams frowned and asked "What is it, Joker?"

"...Feed from the geosync sat… You remember the geth ship attached to Exogeni's tower? It just fell. It exploded when it hit the ground."

Tali immediately interjected. "I knew they had no chance against Shepard! I hope there were a lot of geth on that ship!"

Ignoring her, Joker added "The jamming's gone… I've got the commander on the line… linking you."

This new development had an electrifying effect on everybody. The tense and heavy atmosphere in the dock became distinctly lighter as everyone listened to William's report on the recent events at Zhu's Hope. Garrus was surprised at how good it felt to hear the voice of the human Spectre as he and the woman swapped information. The exchange ended with the commander giving a brief - and cryptic - account of his findings. "...falling back was a good decision, Ash. I actually know what's afflicting the colonists back there. It's a bit complicated and I'll explain later. We found some surviving Exogeni officials on our way to the headquarters earlier on, and we're now going back to see them and get some answers. Hold your position until we arrive."

Williams was smiling as she nodded. "Copy that, Commander."

As the communication was cut, Garrus heard a few chuckles and it seemed to him that the whispered conversations had a much more positive tone. They were still watching for approaching colonists, but now - knowing that Shepard was on his way back - they had a good reason to hope for a better outcome.

However, Garrus knew that the situation was still dire. They were still cut off from the commander, and he did not see how that problem could be solved without hurting the colonists in one way or another. On top of that, there could still be a geth offensive at any moment. His train of thought was derailed by his stomach, which chose that moment to remind him of its condition, going into a series of painful spasms.

He turned to Tali and said, grimacing as the last spasm slowly ebbed away, "You know, the tube of paste you so graciously sacrificed back there..."

She turned to him, warily asking "Yes? …What about it?"

"It's still back there… Full… I just dropped it when the first rounds started to whizz by us."

Her sigh was exaggeratedly loud. "What a waste, Garrus…" Facetiously, she added "Then again, as far as I'm concerned, it was wasted right from the moment I agreed to let you have it…"

He chuckled at her teasing. "Duly noted. But don't worry, I'll make it up to you as soon as we're out of this mess."

"Glad to hear it." Tali gestured vaguely toward the Normandy, which was only a few meters away. "Anyway, now that we're here, it should be easy for you to get some of your usual unsterilized food..."

She was right of course. Turning aside and shoving his rifle under his arm, Garrus lost no time activating his omnitool. Having found the XO's address, he quickly requested an emergency food delivery. _Have to eat right now, while I can... Who knows what's going to happen next_.

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Please leave a review; Love/hate what I wrote (and why), Other comments or thoughts about how you would change Bioware's version of Zhu's Hope if you could (and why)?


	7. A Pox, But Not on Your House

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

This chapter is in Pressly's POV and is set not long after the mission on Feros. In it, I try to put together some canon information about the Navigator and XO of the Normandy.

There's not a lot of information available on Charles Pressly. From the codex: His grandfather was at Shanxi (First Contact War). He joined the Alliance shortly after finishing school, to follow in his grandfather's footsteps. He was stationed on the frigate SSV Agincourt, which was part of the first reinforcements to arrive at Elysium (Skyllian Blitz). After Elysium, he received his officer's commission and was selected by Captain Anderson to serve on the Normandy. Early in the game, Pressly appears quite leery of the alien presence on the ship. On Alchera (crash site of the Normandy SR1, in ME2), Shepard finds a datapad containing a mostly corrupted/erased diary written by the Navigator. Only three entries are readable and they show a progression in Pressly's acceptance of the aliens throughout the mission. The first entry describes his indignation at the presence of 'damned aliens' on board. The second entry is a mention of a conversation with Tali in which he says she is on a pilgrimage of sorts, and he appears to respect that. In the last entry, he says that the aliens are his shipmates and that he would put his life on the line for them. Another piece of information in ME2 comes from Tali herself, as she tries to explain to Shepard (just before going into the well-known part about linking suits) her immune system's reactivity and uses - as an example - the fact that Pressly had chickenpox during the hunt for Saren.

My perception of Pressly is that he is of the anxious/vigilant type, probably a perfectionist and I would not be surprised if he had a few obsessive-compulsive traits (keeping a diary probably counts among those – no offense to those of my readers who also keep one). His type of humor would tend toward the cynical/sarcastic. His character would be less congenial than that of Adams. I made up Adams to be a family man, so it would make sense for my version of Pressly to be single.

One small detail: the mess hall of the Normandy SR1 has a single huge table. To make my story work, I decided to replace it by several smaller ones. Yes, I fully assume my artistic integrity.

My thanks to Vocarin for beta-reading this chapter.

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**Chapter 7: A Pox, But Not on Your House**

"…_my first day out of sick-bay. Although I followed the doctor's orders to take it slow, I was barely able to go through half of the day before I started to feel like lying down again. But I'm so glad to be out of that damned gurney and off that damned IV drip. According to Chakwas, I'm going to be back to one hundred percent in a couple of days at most." _

Sitting at one of the smaller tables in the mess hall, Pressly looked around at the few other shipmates who were also having dinner. All had acknowledged him and some had made a few bad jokes – of which he was fed up already - but none had been willing to come close and chat as they would have done before. Sighing, he leaned over his datapad again and, using his thumbs, punched at the miniature holographic keyboard, adding a paragraph to the day's entry._ "The doctor has sent a comprehensive memo to all members of the crew, telling them that I'm not contagious anymore and that nobody on the ship has to fear for their health. However, people are obviously being prudent and I feel shunned, as if I was a leper. But I can't blame them. I suppose it's a normal response to something as fearsome as chickenpox." _He smiled at his own sarcasm.

He laid his datapad on the table, beside the remains of his dinner. Absorbed by his thoughts, he brought a hand to his forehead to feel the few remaining crusted blisters. They were not itchy anymore but, even then, he had to resist the urge to scratch at them. Most of the crew's jokes had been about the appearance of his skin; most likely, this was also the cause of his current isolation. Having seen his own reflection in one of the mirrors in the washroom just before coming to the mess hall, he fully understood how people could be put off by that. He sighed again.

A thunderous belch broke his line of thought. Looking for the origin of the vulgar sound, he was not surprised at finding the krogan, standing in front of a pile of ration packages at one end of a nearby table. He was having dinner along with Shepard and the rest of his team. They were all there; the turian with his impressive armor-like skin and the spikes on his head, the surprisingly human-looking asari, the permanently suited quarian, Alenko the biotic and Williams. But the huge krogan dominated all the others, and Pressly knew that his deep and raspy voice could drown all the others combined – provided he was not stuffing his mouth with enough food to feed a platoon...

The zoo, he had called them not long ago… But that had been before Feros, where the aliens had helped save the colony and many human lives. The way they had behaved down there had been nothing if not exemplary. The crew of the ship had been impressed, and he had been too.

"Hey, Pressly! Mind if I sit with you?"

Tearing his eyes away from the noisy neighbors, he looked at a smiling Chief Engineer, approaching with a tray. He smiled back, happy at having – at last - some good company. "Of course not, Adams! In fact, I was hoping you'd show up…"

Adams took the opposite seat, pushing his tray on the top of the small table. He ripped the cover from the main compartment of his ration's container. This activated the auto-heating part of the package, which quickly caused a small cloud of vapor and appetizing smells to waft upward as he finished organizing the few utensils he got along with his cup of coffee and his food. Before he started eating, Adams looked at him with feigned attention, eyes scanning his face, and smirked. "You don't look too bad… You're going to survive this one after all, Pressly."

The navigator rolled his eyes, more than fed up with the jokes. "Please Adams, I've had enough of the smart jokes already… Everybody's piling on, you know?" But he knew the other man quite well and was already bracing for more.

Indeed, Adams chuckled and went on, "Aww… don't take it like that! The crew's just having some fun at the XO's expense! You know, payback for all the 'running them raw with duties', lectures about regulations and all that stuff… For myself, I must say that I'm surprised at discovering the small kid in you, Pressly. I just wish you would have found a 'healthier' way to reveal that aspect."

Pressly grimaced at that. "Ah! There's the rub, isn't it? Being taken down by a... children's disease! Chickenpox of all things…" He shook his head, then smirked as he looked back at his friend. "The irony is rather vexing, I'll admit to that... My parents were part of an anti-vaccine movement and, as a consequence, I received none of the usual inoculations as a child. I had to get them all when I joined up, however... I remember the doctor shaking his head at me at the recruitment center. But the funny thing is that I never got sick when I was a kid."

Adams looked at him more seriously now. "Then... how come you got it if you were properly immunized?"

"Apparently, it can happen in some rare instances... either the vaccine was defective or it did not take for some reason. Dr. Chakwas said we'll probably never know why." Pressly smiled weakly. "The only good news is that I won't need to be vaccinated again."

The Chief Engineer smiled back at him. "Hey, that's the spirit!" Soon enough however, after having swallowed his first bite, he frowned and asked, "Has the doctor found who you got the virus from?"

Pressly glanced at the other people in the mess hall. "It's not from anyone on the crew. The incubation time being about two weeks, she said I probably got it when we docked at the space station around Therum after we picked up the asari… She said it could even have been somebody with the shingles."

"Eww, the shingles…" Adams grimaced while chewing on a piece of sim-pork. He swallowed and continued. "I had an uncle with the shingles… that's a really ugly thing. He was moaning all day long because of the pain and, as I remember - I was about to get into high-school at that time, that drove my aunt crazy. I always thought she was a little crazy to begin with... so, after a few days she threw him out of their bedroom, then they screamed at each other for a couple more days and she finally threw him out of their flat altogether. After that, my uncle ended up living in our house for half a year while he and her sorted things out..." Shaking his head at the bad memory, he looked back at his friend. "Anyway, I'm glad you're getting better. Must have been hell to be quarantined in sick-bay…"

"You're telling me… The isolation itself was bad enough with nothing to do, but the idea of leaving the navigation up to Xiang or Smith and have the ship careening into an unnamed asteroid was definitely worse."

"You're too hard on yourself, Pressly. I'm sure you've heard of where all the irreplaceable people end up."

Adam's reference to cemeteries wasn't amusing, but the point was taken. He nodded at the engineer, who seemed to be eating as if there was some sort of speed contest. "Another irony: it turns out that the quarantine was pretty much useless since we now know that nobody aboard could have caught the virus. But I can't blame Chakwas; she had to follow the procedures and it was the prudent thing to do."

Putting his knife and fork down, Adams opened the part of his ration pack that contained the dessert and grabbed the three chocolate-flavored cookies in it. "In any case, your recovery is just in time. We'll be docking at Arcturus Station in two days for some repairs. Hopefully, that will definitively solve our vibration problems down in engineering. We won't need more than a couple of days for that job if all the pieces you ordered for us are really there when we show up, neatly stacked and labeled." He raised a hand before Pressly could say anything, adding, "We both know that never happens in real life, but with you on top of things, I'm pretty sure we can make it."

Watching a cookie disappear into his friend's mouth, Pressly smiled at the compliment and nodded. "It's going to be my pleasure. I should be back to full time in a couple of days if Chakwas is to be believed…" He smirked. "But I'm not irreplaceable as you said… So, if I don't feel well enough, you'll have to make do with Xiang and Smith."

He watched with satisfaction as a grimace formed on Adams' face at the thought of the two clumsy junior deck officers coordinating the business with Alliance authorities and potentially making things more difficult for him.

With his last cookie down, Adams looked at his omnitool's chrono, grunted, sipped the last of his coffee and started to ready his tray for disposal. "Sorry Pressly, but I've got my own regulations to follow. We're recalibrating the confinement fields in the fusion plant, a class four procedure… and as you probably know-"

Pressly smiled as he cut him off. "Regulation 17.3 on Ship Maintenance: All class three or more maintenance operations are to be supervised by the Chief Engineer who shall be physically present during the procedure, from start to finish."

Adams rose from his seat, a big goofy smile on his face. "Yeah, that's the one. Why am I not surprised when you remember the exact wording... See you later old buddy."

Adams having disappeared down the hallway, Pressly's eyes drifted toward Shepard and his team, currently listening to some tale told by the quarian, who was gesticulating as if in the middle of some battle. She mimicked the shooting of a weapon – it looked like a shotgun - and said something that his translator was not able to catch. Apparently, that had been the punchline as the whole group started laughing, even the not so expressive asari. Still laughing, Shepard got up and said "Good one, Tali. Ok everyone, see you in the comm room at 1900. "

As they all rose and dispersed, Pressly decided he would stay at his table and pass the time by studying the last status reports and the updated ship's logs. He was tired, but not enough to prevent him from a little bit of additional work. He knew he would also have to review the list of all the items - including the parts for engineering - that he had ordered recently. Stops for repairs and refurbishing could be quite complicated, and sorting out mistakes, especially the mixed up orders, was probably the most stressful part of it all. _Never hurts to be ready in advance. _He synched his datapad with the ship's computer and started reading.

Absorbed by his task, he did not see Tali approach his table with some hesitation, her hands fumbling together at the waist.

"Hum… How are you doing sir… hum, Pressly?"

He looked at her, surprised at being addressed in such a way, and by none other than one of Shepard's aliens. His first thought was to wonder why she was even talking to him. _She must want something from me. _Putting his electronic device down on the table in front of him, he looked up at her, waiting for some elaboration.

Visibly uneasy, the quarian continued "Well, hum… I was told that you were suffering from a virus... So, first of all… I'm happy to see you're up and about. Also, I wanted to thank you for the food..."

He frowned, confused. "The food?..." He had hoped that the quarian would quickly zero in on what she wanted of him, like the turian had done the week before when he had asked for replacement parts and upgrades for the M-35 Mako.

She waved a hand toward the nearby refrigeration units, where the crew's rations were stored. "Yes, the tubes of nutrient paste. I just noticed them a few days ago… and since then, I was able to stop worrying with my dwindling personal reserves… Shepard told me you are the one who bought them on the Citadel."

His mind suddenly did a one eighty as he realized the signification of her elaborate rambling. He looked up at her strange face – or absence thereof – and, in response to her unexpected expression of gratitude, he replied awkwardly, "Oh, that! Hmpf… Well, it seemed the right thing to do at the time… You can't have people going hungry on a trip with no clear end in sight. It was not much trouble really…"

That's when he also realized that he had not followed through and inquired if the food was adequate, which was a minor breach of procedure. He was mildly irritated at himself for having missed that, and this made him slightly irritated at her too. _And why is she here in the first place…_ He knew that she was the one who had given the proof of Saren's treachery to the Alliance, and that she was also supposed to be a geth expert… But as far as he knew, she was not being paid to risk her life going on missions with the commander, and that made him all the more suspicious as to the reason why she – or any of the other aliens for that matter - wanted to be on board the most advanced ship in the Alliance.

Frowning, he considered her as she stood there, looking expectantly back at him. He knew that, at some point, he would have to decide on how he felt toward the aliens. Now was the time for the quarian, apparently. He looked at her eyes which, fortunately, were easy to spot even if the rest of her face was hidden by her opaque visor. "May I ask you one question that has been on my mind since we left the Citadel?"

She stopped fidgeting and leaned forward a little, attentive to what he would say next. "Yes, of course."

The light of her mouthpiece flashed as she talked, which was a little distracting, as was the sight of her three fingered hands, accentuating the fact that she was not human. He did not know if he could expect an honest answer from a quarian, considering their reputation and all, but he felt he should at least try to clear that question up – if only for his own good conscience. "Please answer me as precisely as you can. You know that this is an Alliance military ship, so… Why exactly are you on it?"

The alien seemed taken aback by the question, and her body shifted a little backward. After a short silence, she said in a firm and decisive voice, "My people created the geth… and they are now involved with Saren. As a quarian, I feel it's my duty to oppose them. I promised Shepard my help with this, and it's not in my habits to shirk my responsibilities or those of my people. As I said to Shepard, my pilgrimage can wait…" She had a wide gesture with one hand, as if she was throwing something aside. "…I'll see to it after this mess is taken care of."

Pressly was surprised by the passion with which she had expressed herself. Her explanation sure sounded convincing, even if she had seemed a bit on the defensive. Ordinarily, such a display would not have been enough to lay his doubts to rest, but the events on Feros came back to him, and he also remembered what the commander had told him a couple of weeks before in response to his protestations. _'…the council's eyes are on me – and on all of us. Now is the time to show that humans can work with other species… I also believe they're good people… They're on our side, you'll see.' _

"Thank-you... that was well said." The quarian had answered his question, and he felt it was now his turn to make a gesture of good will. _My turn to try and be nice._ He owed this to Shepard and the Alliance. But he needed to make a transition, to change the tone of their exchange – which had been a little tense up to now - to something more conversational. Looking back at her, he quickly focused on a word she had used that kind of stood out from the rest and that had piqued his curiosity. "Pilgrimage?..." That was odd; he had heard of how ostentatiously religious some hanar could be, but he was not aware that the quarians were religious enough to actually perform something like a pilgrimage. He voiced his surprise "…are you on some kind of religious travel?"

"Oh, no…" Her tone lost some of its sharpness and her stance some of its rigidity. "The pilgrimage is what all quarians have to do when they reach adulthood… going out in the galaxy, trying to find something worthy of being brought back to the flotilla, as a gift to their ship and to demonstrate that one is ready and able to contribute as a full member of our society. Dr. Chakwas called it a 'coming of age ritual,' which I guess it is."

He nodded his understanding and she became more animated as she continued, "Maybe your translator can't find a better word for it in your language, but it is not religious in essence, although an individual that was so inclined could decide to bring back the wisdom related to another species' beliefs. You see, we quarians live in cramped conditions aboard old ships and are in constant need of ressources, both physical and intellectual. We're all very poor by galactic standards." She paused, as if organizing her thoughts, then continued earnestly, "And I can tell you that the rumors concerning thefts by quarians are mostly untrue… Unfortunately, a few rare individuals may be reduced by despair to resort to petty crime to survive, but it would be a great dishonor for a captain of the flotilla to accept a pilgrimage gift that was the result of a theft. We may be poor, but we are proud."

Try as he might, Pressly could not see any hint of dishonesty in what she had just said. That quarians were living aboard ships, and that they were not as affluent as most other species was common knowledge, but he had not known the conditions were so dire as for them to send their young ones on errands like that. Suddenly, he felt a little ashamed at himself for having misjudged her. The least he could do right now was to try to learn more. _And maybe I should do the same with the other aliens…_

Looking up at her, he realized he was being rude, letting her stand there like that. "Oh, I'm sorry… I should have offered you a seat. And if you have some time, I'd like to learn more about you and your people."

As she took the seat vacated earlier by Adams, she said "Sure, and maybe you can tell me more about yourself and humans... I've read many things on the extranet, and maybe you could help me understand better…"

Their conversation went on for some time after that, and was terminated only when the quarian had to go to the meeting with Shepard and the rest of his team.

As the quarian walked away, Pressly picked-up his datapad again and decided to add a new entry to his diary. _"I just had a chat with the quarian. It seems she's on some kind of pilgrimage, trying to improve the lot of her home ship. I can understand that. I would certainly not – figuratively speaking of course - ask her to babysit my children or anything-" _He paused to smile at the mental image this concept elicited, and then finished._ "-but if she has to be on board I suppose that's not too bad."_


	8. Coming Clean

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

This chapter is set not long after the previous one, somewhere in between the Feros and Noveria missions. A reasonable timeline would be something like 4 to 5 weeks into the hunt for Saren; this would allow for transit between systems, some exploration, a few side-quests, administrative procedures (Shepard likely has to meet at some point with local military and/or civilian authorities to explain why things explode wherever he goes), refueling and/or maintenance stops, drive core discharges, etc…

It is in Ashley's POV. My take on her at that point in the story is that she is fully committed to the mission, but is still coping with the loss of her unit on Eden Prime, which may have affected her more than she thought at first. She is probably trying her best to get closer to her teammates – even the aliens - as some kind of 'esprit de corps' is slowly taking shape in Shepard's ground team. On top of that, she now has to deal with confusing signals from her commander; is he or not interested in her (romantically)? And what about the rumors going around the ship concerning him and Liara? Ashley is used to hide her inner turmoil behind her tough 'big sister' mask (as we learn by talking with her at the Huerta Memorial Hospital in ME3) but that doesn't mean there's never a crack in it. My understanding of Ashley Williams is that, even if she may be harsh in her judgements, hard-headed and rather obstinate in her opinions on some things, she can also be sensitive and introspective (hence her famous line to defend her interest in poetry 'Just because I can drill you between the eyes 100 meters out doesn't mean I don't like sensitive stuff!')

Few small things:  
1. I don't think it is stated anywhere in the game or in Mass Effect wiki (please correct me if I'm wrong), but I always assumed quarian envirosuits to be air- and water-tight. More about quarian suits and other stuff in an expanded note at the end of the chapter if you're interested.  
2. Be warned that my (artistic) vision of quarians is slightly un-canon in that they don't have hair. I don't know what they have (I personally like the idea of quills), but I like the idea that hair would be a unique human trait. It's not such a big deal. You'll see below.  
3. For Tali fans: there's a rather well done Youtube video of Tali dancing (just search with 'Tali dancing'). Other animations also by 'svgextremal' show Jack, EDI, Miranda and Liara, each interpreting a different dance. Apparently, doing the same for male characters was not on the agenda.  
4. For all ME fans (even those not disappointed with Bioware's ME3 ending), 'Marauder Shields' (by koobismo) is a high quality graphic novel available on deviantArt. Check-it out.

My thanks again to Vocarin for beta-reading this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Coming Clean.**

Her bathrobe neatly tied at the waist, Ashley Williams stepped out of the shower stall, one hand busy holding colorful bottles of body wash, shampoo and hair conditioner against her chest, and the other holding the towel wrapped around her head. Her shower had been as quick and as efficient as usual - just one among many habits that had been drilled into her starting as a child, growing up on a military base and in a family with deep military roots. Carefully, she carried her stuff to the wide bench located in the center of the room and sat down. Bending forward, she removed the towel and let her dark brown hair hang loose, partially obscuring her vision. With both hands, she tried to squeeze more water out of it, but only a few drops fell on the floor, where they were absorbed at once into the floor mat.

The woman in the other shower stall was still hard at work, the loud brushing noises coming at intervals, interspersed with short bouts of water flowing from the high efficiency lo-flo showerhead. This had been going on since she had entered the room and, by now, Ashley was utterly convinced it was a crewmate that had been punished with the traditional scrubbing of the showers. _Maybe she's going to clean the toilets next - with a toothbrush._ She smirked as she imagined what unspeakable crime the woman had committed to deserve such a primitive punishment. It could be anything, from stealing to insubordination. She hoped the woman would come out soon, so she could know every savory detail of what had happened and, even more, who was involved. _This ought to be fun._ At least it would be a good distraction from her other preoccupations.

Getting up, she transferred the multiple bottles to her locker and got her brush out, along with her nail-clipper and one of the single-use bottles of rejuvenating hair lotion that she had acquired on Arcturus Station a couple of days before. The squeezable bottles had caught her eyes on the store shelf, proclaiming in big glowing letters 'Show Your Shiny Side! - Now with NEW Revolutionary Nano-Repair Tech.' She sure hoped the lotion would work half as well as the ad said. With the changes in her lifestyle these last few weeks, her hair needed all the care it could get.

Trying new soaps, shampoos and lotions was one of the few luxuries she allowed herself to enjoy. Like many others in the military, she just could not stand the standard issue crap the Alliance was giving out. It smelled wrong and it made her skin too dry. Shampoos and hair matters were also a great way to start conversations, even with men. A few friendships had started like that on Eden Prime, with fellow soldiers from the 212. She sighed as she went back to sit on the bench.

Grimacing slightly every time the brush got stuck in a tangle of hair, she couldn't help thinking of her comrades, dead on Eden Prime. Her whole unit had been wiped out... just like that. And here she was, taking care of herself after a quick but warm shower, while so many were gone forever. _Thanks to Shepard, at least Bhatia's husband had found some peace of mind._ Thinking of the indian woman with whom she had lunched a few times, she felt her eyes close to watering up. Breathing deeply, she managed to keep her emotions from spilling over. _Survivor guilt._ She knew it was completely irrational, but she felt it nonetheless. She had expected to get over it with relative ease when she was reassigned to the Normandy, but her psyche was persisting in showing her otherwise. Shepard had been right, however; the key to getting better was to keep busy. And it was not hard to do that, with the frequent drops, training in the cargo bay with the rest of the ground team, weapons maintenance and all the rest. Still, although much less heavy already, the feeling that she should not have survived was hanging around, ready to pounce on her as soon as she became introspective. _Hard to believe this was five weeks ago already._

Shepard too had lost someone on Eden Prime. The name came back to her. _Jenkins_._ Surely this had to be hard for him too._ She knew for a fact that he had lost many more people under his command along his illustrious career. And he probably felt guilty not having saved more people on Elysium during the Blitz. But obviously, he had found a way to move on. _Is that all? Getting used to it after a while? With the repetition?_ The thought sent a shiver of disgust down her spine. But she recalled how his eyes had glowed with empathy every time he had talked with her about Eden Prime. _Yes, he understands_.

She thought of Shepard and what she knew about him. He was definitely shorter than she had imagined. He was tall enough, but she remembered how positively immense he had looked on all these ads a few years ago after the Skyllian Blitz. She snorted. _That's propaganda for you._ But being close to him this last month had shown her how much more he was than just a marketing concept. He was powerful and courageous like the ads had said, but he was much more. He had the looks, the character and an almost unnatural physical presence that made people want to agree with him. He could be as hard as steel in battle or when 'persuasion' was called for, yet he could also be 'soft' when it was called for. _And he's a Spectre, for Pete's sake._

Such magnetism… and a nice shapely ass to top it off, how could she resist the temptation. _Alliance regulations be damned if I can get my hands on him. _With him a Spectre, she thought, one could argue that this was not an Alliance mission anymore… He always came to talk with her on his rounds and seemed interested. At least that was the impression he gave her. And some of his questions had been rather personal. She had poked back a little, testing the waters, going as far as trying a bit of poetry, but she had quickly run into an invisible wall. Surely he realized what she was doing, no? Especially with him arriving just in time, the other day, to catch the last bit of her youngest sister's message; it had been embarrassing, but the hint had been clear. She knew she was an attractive woman, and men usually did not put up so much resistance to her 'signals,' so she was starting to wonder… _Maybe it has to do with my grandad and all... _But that didn't make sense; Shepard didn't seem to be the type of man to be bothered by other people's opinions. Another possibility that had crossed her mind was that she was not of the right gender for him… She thought briefly of Kaidan, then shook her head. _Nah… my gaydar would have picked that up._

She knew that he was making a point of talking to everybody on the crew, including the aliens. She thought of Liara and of some rumors she had heard, but there were rumors about her and him too, so that didn't mean much. However, the memory of _that asari gushing all over him_ just after they had saved her ass back on Therum made her pressure go up. _And she's touched his mind with hers during that weird mind thing after Feros._ She frowned, her nascent anger freezing in place as she contemplated another possibility. _Maybe I'm not of the right species for him… Maybe I'm not blue enough._

But she shrugged the bad vibes off. _It's just the rumors getting to me... And Liara is just too weird. _Maybe Shepard's absence of response to her gentle prodding was simply due to his self-control. He certainly was a strong willed man. Maybe he was one of those rare ones entirely serious about following the Alliance regulations against fraternization. Or maybe he had other problems. She thought again about him losing Jenkins on Eden Prime. Maybe he was just trying to shield himself against more losses.

She was there in her fruitless speculations, having barely done half her hair, when she heard the door to the other shower stall open. She realized at the same time that the room had become quiet, with no more noise of water flowing. Turning a little to see better through her dangling hair, she was quite surprised at who came into view. Without thinking, she straightened up and called out through her hair, "Tali? I was not expecting you here!"

The quarian was standing just outside the shower stall, looking back at her, her suit obviously wet, holding her veil in one hand together with the three black belts that she usually wore around her hips and lower torso. She had a rather large orange and white cleaning brush - like those used to scrub floors - in the other hand. Her legs looked strange – well, stranger than usual - and it took Ashley half a second to realize that her shin guards, calf plates and knife were missing. The way Tali stood and looked back at her gave Ashley the impression she was surprised and confused, impression soon confirmed by her question.

"Ashley? …Is that you?"

She laughed out loud at the situation. Both at her incorrect assumption – no one had been punished after all - and at Tali not recognizing her, probably because of the hair. She decided to help the quarian and parted the strands dangling in front of her face, revealing herself to the dumbfounded alien. "Surprise!"

Tali's stance relaxed as she recognized her. "Ashley!" She stepped closer. "I thought I had recognized your voice, but I was not entirely sure… with your hair that way…" She gestured toward her head. "I didn't know it was so long! And it looks bizarre too… kind of ropy…"

Ashley grasped a strand of hair, looked at it and shrugged. "Ah, yes… it tends to stick together when it's wet."

Stepping closer still, the quarian was scrutinizing her head. "Human hair is so special. You can do so many things with it to individualize your appearance. It's kind of... exotic."

She laughed again. The idea of being exotic to some alien was odd, but not entirely disagreeable. "Hey, we spend so much time and energy on it, it better be exotic! It needs to be cut, cleaned, brushed, tied, and so on..." She let go of the strand and grabbed a handful of her wet hair, showing it to the quarian. "I just used soap and water to clean it, now I'm brushing it, then I'll have to apply a protective lotion to it and then I'll have to dry it with the air blower..." With the brush in her other hand, she indicated the contraption attached to the nearby wall. "...then I'll have to brush it again and finally, I'll have to tie it into a bun."

"Keelah, I didn't know it was so much work... But why do you have to tie it? I'm sure it would be beautiful if you left it hanging."

Ashley let go of her hair and smiled as she started brushing again. "Thanks. I do wear it long when I'm back home. Otherwise, military regulations require me to keep it neatly out of view. It's not good for a soldier to look too different from the others."

"Oh... So that's why. I was wondering why the humans on this ship don't have as colorful or elaborate hairstyles as I saw elsewhere, especially on the Citadel." Tali laid her brush and belts on the bench and, with both hands, wrung the water out of her veil. "I picked some hair out of a filter when we cleaned the ship's ventilation system some time ago... It's surprising how fine and flexible they are. Are they different when still attached?"

"No, hair are just dead fibers, so they should be the same if they're attached or not." Looking at her, Ashley suddenly had an idea. An idea that made her smile. "If you're interested, I could use your help to change the way I tie my hair, by making patterns called braids... Once it's dried, of course."

Tali seemed taken aback by the proposal. "Really? You mean you would let me touch your hair?" But she quickly added, with growing enthusiasm, "Yes, I'd be honored."

She eyed the quarian, who was jumping up and down on her toes, obviously excited at the prospect. Of course, she could do the type of braids she had in mind by herself – and by feel, if a mirror was not available - but Tali's reaction showed she had hit the spot. Just touching her hair would probably make the quarian's day. "You'll see, it's quick and easy to do. We'll just make two small braids, one on each side, and bring them back behind with my bun. My hair will be a little more interesting, but still within conservative military fashion."

Tali tilted her head a little on the side as she looked at her hair again. "I can't wait, that will be most interesting."

She smiled back at the quarian, thinking of how much better she and her were getting along now. It had been a little difficult in the first couple of weeks, but once she had learned to avoid a few topics that seemed to irritate her to no end - like any question relating to what she looked like under her suit, or anything that could be misinterpreted as speciesist - Tali was rather friendly. Questions about her suit itself didn't seem so threatening. _Something to do with privacy among her species, no doubt... which also explained the opaque visor. _Sure, she was still curious about Tali's true appearance, but after weeks of seeing her always in a suit, the need to know was not so pressing anymore. Things were slowly getting better with the other aliens too – and kissing a turian had not been necessary after all - but Tali was just more fun. In some ways, she made her feel like she was dealing with one of her sisters.

As the quarian went to open her locker and stow her brush away, the tubes and wires connecting the back of her helmet to the upper back of the suit came into view, and Ashley stopped her brushing to stare at them. "Wow, first time I see what you're hiding back there!"

Tali turned to her and chuckled. "Yes… Unsightly, isn't it?" Stepping closer, she unfolded the veil that she still held with one hand, bringing it up for her to see. "It's a traditional garb from even before we fled into space, but now we use it also to hide our ugly tubes ...and it's useful too as it prevents them from getting stuck." As Ashley leaned closer to take a better look, Tali added "…It's exactly the same pattern as my mother's."

"No way!" Ashley was impressed. She knew of her mother's death - Tali had told her some time ago, in a conversation where they had compared their respective military families - and could sympathize with her. Quarians' feelings toward their parents and family seemed very similar to those humans had. "That's very touching…"

"My father was not happy with my choice, but I felt this was something I had to do."

This reminded her of her own father's favorite poems, and how she tried to avoid talking poetry when her mother was around - it always made her mother sad. She looked at the intricate pattern on the piece of cloth and nodded in understanding. "I can relate to that."

Tali went back to her locker and hung her veil on top of its open door. She then grabbed a towel on a nearby shelf and started drying her suit.

Resuming her brushing, Ashley watched the quarian's clumsy gestures with the towel as she removed most of the water still on her suit and then proceeded to do the same with her belts. She cleared her throat to attract her attention and nodded toward the shower stall Tali had come out of. "All that time, I was wondering how you manage to keep your suit so clean. Now I know."

Having discarded her towel down the dirty clothes chute, Tali glanced at her as she returned to her locker. "My suit has a coating that reacts to light and takes care of most contaminants like dust and microorganisms. But it still needs a good brushing from time to time to remove buildups and thicker stains…" She took a small unmarked bottle and a rag out of the locker, and came back to sit on the bench beside her belts, a few feet away from Ashley. "That would be once every few months under normal circumstances, but I've had to do it twice since I got on the Normandy…" Her tone went down a notch as she added, "…I just hope I'm not using too much water."

Ashley chuckled at that. "Aww, don't worry! You'd have to take showers every day to even come close to how much water the average human is using. We can't go very far without our dear water."

Tali briefly glanced back at her again as she dipped a corner of her rag in the clear liquid from the small bottle and started rubbing a spot on her right thigh. "One per day? Wow... do humans really get dirty that fast?"

"Depends on the sweating... Maybe some of us could stretch it to two or three days between showers, but longer than that and body odors would start to become really distracting."

"Huh... I guess there are a few minor advantages at being stuck in a suit all the time. ...And having olfactory filters too. But still, I'm not used to consuming that much water. I never got so dirty and so often before now."

"Yep, same thing here. I always thought that living aboard a ship would be cleaner than planetside." She chuckled. "But then again, it's probably just this one ship and this one mission. And just so you know, I had to wash my armor twice when we got back from those tunnels on Feros." By now, Ashley could smell the faint but characteristic odor of acetone in the air. She eyed the small bottle in the other woman's hand, obviously the source of the smell. Apparently, some of the stains on her suit required to be removed with something else than water.

The quarian's shoulders seemed to slump as she remembered. "Ugh… the Thorian. That was an ugly mission. All that sticky gunk flying around each time we put one of those horrible creatures down. And I think my shotgun made things even worse."

Having finished brushing her hair, Ashley nodded as she grabbed her bottle of lotion. "Feros sure was the filthiest mission so far. It seemed like every creeper I killed wanted to stick with me."

"Yes… A couple more missions like that and my suit will start to wear down just because of the scrubbing that follows." Tali chuckled. "I'd be the first quarian to go back to the flotilla to get a new suit before the end of her pilgrimage." When she saw how Ashley was looking back at her, she quickly added "I'm kidding, of course."

Ashley shrugged. "Ah... But still, the sticky stuff was not that bad when you consider how close we got with being overwhelmed down there." The bottle was comfortable in her hand and, as she fiddled with it, the cap came off, revealing a comb-like applicator.

Tali stopped her cleaning and looked back at her. "True. But Shepard was right to go after that thing. The Thorian needed to be eliminated. It was trying to enslave the whole colony."

Ashley grunted in acquiescence. As she started applying the lotion to her hair, trying to keep her head straight and using slow deliberate sweeping motions from the top of her head downward, she managed to reply, "Agreed. And I would add that he was right to bring all of us with him down there. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if he had taken just a couple of us as he does most of the time on other missions."

Tali snorted at that. "I'm sure he would have made it out, somehow… I'm starting to think a man like that cannot die…"

Ashley chuckled. "Listen to what you're saying, Tali. It's obvious you admire him a lot…"

Tali had finished with her acetone and got up to stow the bottle and rag away in her locker. "Yes, it's true… All my life, I kept hearing others' stories about their pilgrimages and how they were being mistreated… When it was my turn to leave, I fully expected to find no help or sympathy from people of other species. And that's pretty much what happened until I met him… I'll always remember the first words he said to me as soon as the shooting was over in that back alley on the Citadel. He said 'Were you hurt in the fight?' I couldn't believe he was sincere at the time, but after a few days, I really became convinced that it was exactly what he had meant to say at the time… He didn't see just a quarian when he said that, but a person in need of help."

Tali grabbed a small round metal container and another rag, and came back to her seat as she continued in a subdued voice. "I don't know why the Ancestors put Shepard on my path… I can only thank them for that." She looked at Ashley. "Not that I don't appreciate what you've done for me these last few weeks, and the same with Adams and most of the crew, but… I believe Shepard is a special man. He's so strong and inspiring, completely focused on his mission but at the same time he's so… kind and considerate. There seems to be no situation he can't deal with. There must be very few people like that in the galaxy..."

Ashley smiled. To her, Tali sounded like a typical teenager fan, totally taken in by some celebrity. She knew how it felt, as she remembered her own episode in school, when she had been in total admiration of some young singers, one after the other… And there also had been – _what was his name again… ah yes, Tommy_ – the captain of the school's football team. With a group of similarly-minded friends, she had managed to be at most of the older boy's games, screaming hysterically for him every time he came near the ball. She shook her head and grimaced, remembering how it had felt when she finally realized how much of an airhead the guy really was and how stupid she had been… _At least Shepard's anything but an airhead._ She smiled again as she looked sympathetically – and knowingly - at the quarian. "Tali, you do realize that he's just a man… I mean we've all seen him getting hurt a couple of times already…"

"Of course…" She chuckled, looking back at her. "He is a mortal being… of flesh and bones just like you and me… I know that. But this is also why he needs us for the mission. We have to help him in any way we can. He's counting on us, and I intend to do everything in my power to deserve his trust."

"Huh… That's well put." Tali's words had been expressed with such energy, such absolute conviction, that Ashley was reminded more than ever of a teenager. In human terms, her age put her in the 'young adult' category, but then again she knew next to nothing about quarians and how they matured. _And you have to be pretty darn mature to go alone in the galaxy like that, pilgrimage or not._ Did the concept of a teenager even apply to quarians?

Silence filled the room as nothing seemed worthy of being said after Tali's declaration.

Glancing at the other woman from time to time as she continued applying her lotion in long stroking motions, Ashley saw Tali using her rag and the translucent creamy substance from the small metallic container to polish one of her belts. It seemed to work wonders as the thing soon became much shinier than before. The belts looked vaguely like leather, which was quite an expensive material as far as she knew. _Aren't Quarians supposed to be poor? _She had to know. As Tali started on a second belt, she asked, "Your belts... it's not leather, is it?"

"You mean animal skin? No. We have no animals on the flotilla, it's a luxury we cannot afford. I think the material comes from the inedible part of some plants we're growing on our liveships. It's polymerized and undergoes some additional chemical transformations to make different objects for our use." She held up the small metallic container for Ashley to see. "This synthetic grease I borrowed from the workshop down in engineering works really well, the only disadvantage is that my belts move around a bit for the first few days before they settle down."

Done with the lotion, Ashley grimaced as she threw the empty bottle in the trash chute under the nearby sink. "Eww, I would not use grease on my clothes."

"I would not use it near my skin too... But over my suit?" She chuckled. "No hesitation."

Ashley grabbed her nail clipper and bent forward to work on her toes. "Ok, but I'll ask you to please make sure there's no grease on your gloves when we start braiding… which will soon. I have to let the lotion work for ten minutes before I can start drying my hair. Then we'll do my braids."

"Don't worry. I'll clean my gloves when I'm done with my belts, then I'll just have to dry my veil, clean my visor, and then I'll be ready for the braids."

Realizing what Ashley was doing, Tali leaned toward her to look down at the human feet. "I've seen how useful the nails on human fingers can be, even if they don't seem very hard, but I don't understand what use are those on your toes. And human toes are so short... Are they of any use at all?"

Ashley chuckled, wriggling her toes to show them off. "The toenails are just for show, I'll give you that. But the toes themselves? I suppose they're good for stability when we walk or something like that."

"Hmmm. They look fragile too. No wonder you have to keep them all covered and enclosed in your boxy footgear…" She observed the toes for a couple more seconds and, her curiosity apparently satisfied, she went back to polish her last belt.

A few moments later, Tali had barely started putting her belts on when her omnitool buzzed. She quickly activated it to read a message, then sighed and muttered something that Ashley's translator did not pick.

Still busy with her toenails, Ashley thought this was the type of message that usually led to major change of plans.

Getting up, Tali confirmed Ashley's suspicion when she said "I'm sorry Ashley, but I have to go... Some issue came up in engineering and I'm required down there as soon as possible to help. Knowing Adams, 'as soon as possible' means he wants me there an hour ago." As she was putting her last belt on, she added, "I hope I won't have any heavy lifting to do... my arms are numb from all the scrubbing in the shower." She gathered her stuff and stowed it away, then went to the sink to wash her hands.

When she was done, she grabbed her veil and closed her locker.

Ashley looked up at her as she started putting on her veil, which was obviously still wet. "You're just going to let it dry on your head?"

"I don't have much choice." She sighed. "It's going to be all wrinkled for a while..." As she finished fastening the veil's last clasp, she went for the door but stopped just before going through, turning to Ashley. "I'm sorry... I won't be able to help you with your hair... " She sounded so disappointed.

Ashley responded with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Tali... The braids can wait. We'll just do it later. We could even do that at my workbench down in the cargo bay."

"Really?" Tali tilted her head slightly on the side, her spirits obviously rising. "…Thanks Ashley, I'll be looking forward to it."

"You bet!" Ashley replied just before the door closed behind the quarian. She too was looking forward to it.

* * *

**Author's Notes**  
Extensives notes again... but speculating about this is so much fun.

This chapter happens in the women's hygienic facilities (toilets & showers). As discussed in chapter 5 (Adams' Pupil), the layout of the SSV Normandy - in the game - omits some capital installations, including the toilets and showers (something that Bioware corrected with a vengeance in ME2, where these take up a significant percentage of the floor surface). On a ship like the Normandy, I suppose it would be reasonable to have at least two shower stalls available in each of the men's and women's facilities, along with a couple of toilet stalls, a bench, hot air blow-dryers, a couple of sinks and mirrors, some closets for maintenance equipment, clean towels and maybe even lockers for each crewmember to store their soap, toothbrush and similar stuff in. Not to forget also a bin or a chute for dirty towels, clothes and other such fabric items. In ME2 and ME3, showers and toilets are in the same rooms, with nothing to protect intimacy. For my story to work, shower stalls would need to be separate and closed by an actual door or an opaque hologram or something...

Would the practices change much in the next couple of centuries when it comes to personal hygiene? I'm not sure. Looking at the past, people have used combs/brushes, soap and water for millenia, and nothing revolutionary happened with what we do for the hair (ok, we've got new chemicals to treat them with, but we still need water, soap and combs/brushes). Ships in Mass Effect have artificial gravity and energy is not a problem, so I suppose water could be recycled to a very high degree of efficiency and water usage (showers) would not be a big issue.

More on quarian envirosuits. As I said, I think it would make sense for these to be entirely air- and water-tight. If you want protection from the environment, the easiest and safest way is to go all the way. Note that the only other species to walk around in envirosuits are the volus; their suits obviously have to be air-tight since they breathe ammonia and need a high atmospheric pressure to survive (which may explain why their suits look so thick and unwieldy). One could always imagine a superposition of 'intelligent' porous membranes that could let gases and liquids in without foreign bodies and microorganisms (the smallest known virus is apparently 10 times larger than a water molecule, so that would be possible I suppose), but this seems risky to me. We have no details anywhere on how those suits are built, but using cutting edge present day technology as a point of reference, I imagine they could be fabricated by sophisticated 3D printers, each suit custom-built for a particular quarian, segment by segment. The suits would have several layers, the inner one taking care of hygiene and health, and the outer one would protect against physical elements: gases, liquids, impact, friction, etc. In between would be water and waste management systems, nanobots for suit auto-repair functions, electronics and sensors with lots of redundancy, etc. Suits would incorporate piezoelectric components and various types of sophisticated materials including things like nanotubes. A damaged segment of suit could be replaced with relative ease by 'printing' a new one. Quarians would improve the suits over the years by researching new designs and new materials. Also: the suits have to be rather thin (Tali already looks so gracile in hers, I can't imagine that it would be more than half a centimeter in thickness!). One last note: the suits are designed to be kept on for extended periods of time (years, I suppose since clean room must be quite rare in the galaxy at large) which probably means that putting them on or removing them must be quite a lengthy exercise.

One of my problems in writing this piece was to understand the finer details of Tali's sentiments toward Shepard. Here's what I came up with: at that point in the campaign against Saren, I think Ashley's impression of Tali as a starstruck young fan is not too far from what's really going on. Tali of course is not a teenager (she's twenty two), but she never had such adventures and Shepard is such a charismatic figure (and a good guy all around) that she fell under his spell in a heartbeat. Well... maybe in a few days. I doubt her feelings could move beyond the starstruck fan until at least when she gets her geth data and she has then to envision having to go back to the flotilla and be separated from him. But even then, her feelings would probably move toward something like deepening/closer friendship as the giving of the geth data is a personal favor. Not saying more here, but that seems a plausible process. In any case, the canon version is that she is supposed to be awestruck by Shepard (as Liara would later reveal in the aftermath of the 'Lair of the Shadow Broker' mission if your Shepard romances Tali in ME2). All the raw ingredients that could possibly result in love would probably be present at the end of ME1 however, ready for the romance cake to rise during ME2 because of the pressure, temperature and time (Hey, it's just like baking, believe me!).

Some musings on Tali's sentimental life before her pilgrimage. My thinking is that she probably has little real experience with flirting, romance and love until now. It is quite plausible indeed that she would have been shielded (or guarded) against that because of her father's political involvement (imagine what political enemies could do with rumors of a daughter having controversial relationships!). Another idea is that it would be frowned upon among quarians (like a sort of taboo) to become romantically involved before pilgrimage, maybe because the choice of a ship when coming back would be too disruptive, with couples wanting to be reunited, etc... Another possibility would be that quarians mature more slowly into adulthood than humans and their hormonal system is such that they never think about such stuff until their early twenties (unlike humans, where anything goes starting at puberty!). In any case, she would of course know a good deal about it on a theoretical level; you'd have to be particularly uncurious (i.e. dumb) to know nothing about these facts of life at twenty two, especially if you grew up in a very social environment aboard a crowded ship; these facts of life would be literally in your face every day! (But maybe I'm totally wrong and life on the flotilla is like a 24/24, 7/7 orgy. What do I know. Lol!)


	9. The Hard Way

It's been a while. As I said before, I'm a slow writer. Work on chapter 10 (Joker's POV) has started.

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

This chapter is in Wrex's POV and the action happens while Shepard is running around the administrative sector of Port Hanshan (capital of Noveria), dealing with corporate intrigues, spying and corruption as he tries to find Lady Benezia's whereabouts.

Brief summary: Wrex has – along with part of the Normandy's crew – been given permission to go ashore. He has found refuge in a small bar/bistro/lounge at the edge of one of Port Hanshan's commercial districts, to reflect upon his personal situation. But the krogan could not have foreseen the arrival of Tali (and some complications).

I had promised at some point that Wrex's chapter would involve some brutal action, but I couldn't find a reasonable setting for that to happen without resorting to novelization of the game's mission. Instead, since this story is supposed to show behind-the-scenes stuff, I chose to invent something different, but still congruent with canon. In a way, I'm contrasting age, experience and wisdom between Wrex and Tali.

The idea came to me as I realized Wrex has no obvious reason to stick with Shepard in his crazy quest to stop Saren and find the Conduit. It's easy to find good reasons for the other aliens (Garrus, Tali and Liara), but not so for Wrex. My take on Wrex at this point in the game/story is that he too would be wondering about that.

More notes and speculations on Noveria, Saren and Wrex at the end of the chapter if you are interested. Reading them before the story could help (maybe).

Once again, my thanks to Vocarin for beta-reading this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Hard Way.**

Putting his huge mug down on the table, Wrex looked at his surroundings again. He had found this place years ago, during one of his first contracts on Noveria. Then, it had been called 'The Last Chance.' The colors had been darker, mostly brown and black. It had never changed much between his visits, every time work brought him back to Port Hanshan. Since the last time however, there had been a major makeover and he was not too happy with the result. The walls had been colored pale blue, with silver streaks here and there. The bar itself was white, its shape resembling that of a miniature glacier. Some of the chairs and tables also were white, while others were made of translucent material. He grunted in displeasure. He hated the cold, and the new décor was designed to remind the customers of the damned ice and snow covering most of the planet's surface. It was just… irritating. To top it off, there was an inscription above the entrance door: 'In a Blizzard, No One can Hear You Scream.' He was sure that had to be from a human. After close to twenty years of regular contact with the new species, and especially the last few weeks with an almost completely human crew, he felt confident he could recognize their pitiful attempt at humor.

From his seat at the back of the establishment, now called 'The Frozen Scream,' Wrex could keep an eye on the comings and goings. It was not a big place and was mostly empty at the present time, containing only six clients, him excepted. It was probably during the night shift, or something like that – it was always a little confusing at first when arriving on a world, adjusting to the local time, the local gravity, the atmospheric pressure and all that. A little out of the way, between a commercial zone and some light industrial installations, the place used to be quiet, attracting just the right kind of clients - the kind that knew how to keep their mouths shut. With the unsavory changes to the ambience however, that might not be true anymore. But he didn't have time to waste looking for a more suitable drinking spot.

Despite this minor inconvenience, it had been a good idea to get away from the Normandy and its crew. He had been in a brooding mood lately – more than usual, that is - and had felt the need to be alone for a while to take stock of his situation. After a few hours in the same chair, his ideas lubricated by one ryncol after the other, he felt he had made some headway.

The first and most pressing question he had addressed had been that of deciding if he was staying on Shepard's mission or jumping ship. Truth be told, there had been few days since he first got on the Normandy where he had not wondered why he was following the human on his crazy hunt. Saren was a formidable enemy, but even such a challenge was not nearly enough to keep him along. His guts kept telling him that he should stay around, but he was still struggling to understand why.

Shepard was an exceptional warrior, the likes of which he had met only a few times before, but Wrex didn't feel like he had much to learn from him in that respect. He had, after all, several times the Spectre's combat experience and he was sure he could take him out in a straight one to one fight. He seemed trustworthy, but he was not a particularly likeable boss. The way the man had made him reveal some of his deepest secrets, after weeks of prodding, had been most annoying. Old and painful memories had been disturbed in the process, especially those that had to do with his father and the reasons he had left his homeworld. He practically never got angry, but when Shepard - who didn't seem to understand what it was to live with the genophage – had permitted himself to judge his past actions, it had almost been enough for him to lash out.

For centuries, Wrex had always trusted his instincts. That was one of the reasons why he had endured, and that was not going to change anytime soon. So, he would stay the course until his guts told him otherwise. He just had to be patient; understanding would follow at some point.

As Wrex took another swig of his strong drink, his gaze swept across a group of turians a few tables over on his right. Still wearing their heavy work clothes, the three men seemed to be celebrating the end of their shift at some workshop. They had been at it for more than an hour and, judging by the number of empty bottles accumulated on their table and by their increasing rowdiness, they were already well on their way. They were well on their way to getting on his nerves too. _People here used to be quieter._ He caught one of them throwing him a quick glance. _Oh? You're worried about me, huh? There! I'll give you something to worry about._ And he stared deliberately at them for a good thirty seconds, stopping only when he was satisfied, noting how they had gotten quieter and how their backs had become stiffer, a sure sign his stare had struck a nerve.

He shrugged the turians' distraction away and went back to his ruminations. Yes, he had almost lost his calm down in the ship's cargo hold a couple of days ago, when Shepard had dared to judge him. But he was not really angry with Shepard. He was the boss after all. It was his mission, and it was his ship. He had a right to know the people working for him. And the anger in fact came from the memories themselves, not from the man who made him think about them.

It had been a long time since he had given any thought to Jarrod. His anger toward his father and the ideas he represented was as strong as ever. He could still remember how the knife's handle had felt in his hand as it had sunk deep in Jarrod's chest, silencing his only remaining heart; but that specific memory brought little emotions in itself. He did not regret his action back then – Jarrod had been an obstinate bastard, no better than the large majority of his people, and it had been his choice to pit his life against his son's… and to lose.

But the most painful memory, the one that angered him the most, concerned what had happened just after that; he had left. He had given up on his people. He had abandoned the greater fight. He was angry at himself for that. _Shepard had been right to call me out on that one after all._ Wrex felt he was old enough by now to be able to come to terms with his own failings. He had never even come close to think of himself as a coward, but he could see where all this reasoning, ever since he had stepped into 'The Frozen Scream' was leading. He sighed, producing a sound that could easily have been mistaken for a growl by anybody standing close enough to hear. The conclusion was inescapable.

Slurping on his drink, he purposefully avoided looking at the turians this time and, instead, his gaze came across the two salarians at another table further off. They were conversing quietly, heads close together as they were hunched over their own drinks. They showed no sign of having noticed his presence. But he knew this was unlikely. _Sneaky little bastards._ They were probably spying on his every move. _Well, let them spy. _

At about the same distance but further on the left, a lone human female who had arrived not long after the turians was slumped on a stool at the bar. She had been drinking alone. The salarian bartender was apparently in the process of providing her with yet another drink and accepting payment, exchanging few words with her. _The woman probably has something to forget._ It was just a hunch. Her elbows on the bar, she was looking down into her glass, holding her head with both hands. She didn't even seem interested by the continuous flow of local and galactic news running on the big screen attached to the wall just in front of her, above and behind the bartender.

Bringing his attention back to his table, he tried to gather his thoughts. He knew his mind was getting tired – he always got distracted when he got tired. _Maybe I should just call it off for now…_ He felt like he was getting close to something, though. It was all related to the same touchy subjects; the genophage, his past, his people's future and his place in it. The past which he had been trying to forget and the future which he had been trying to ignore for so long. With the perspective of all those years spent roaming the galaxy, he was starting to see more clearly who he really was. As much as he hated to admit it, he could not deny that he was something of an idealist; deep down inside, the hope that he could do something to save his people was still alive.

He hated to admit it too, but what had happened on Tuchanka back then had been all his fault. He hadn't been able to convince enough of his people to follow his lead. He hadn't been smart enough to find a better way to neutralize Jarrod's opposition. Killing him in the Hollows had done the job, but he had been forced into it, and the resulting blowback had forced him off the planet.

Wrex reached for his mug, which was almost empty already, and continued with his introspection. He wanted to turn things around, that much was obvious now. But he didn't feel ready for any concrete action yet. Before he tried anything, he needed to become a better leader in order to avoid his past mistakes. A leader that would be able to unite the krogans, inspire them, make them hope and fight back - somehow - against the genophage. He knew that he was probably strong enough to impose his authority, but there was more to leadership than mere strength. He needed to find or learn that subtle quality that made people actually want to follow a leader. Then it dawned on him; Shepard had that special something. He was a natural leader, and Wrex had seen how people tended to listen to him, and how easily the man could convince others to follow his direction. He had seen him use diplomacy quite effectively too, an approach that was not natural to krogans but that he felt he could use. Maybe that was what his guts were saying after all: stick around Shepard and learn the subtleties of leadership. Shaking his head, he almost laughed out loud. _If only it was that simple._

Wrex was there in his reflections when he was interrupted by a buzzing tone from his omnitool, signaling an incoming message. He opened it, expecting to be called back to the ship for one reason or another. He grunted in annoyance when he saw that it was from one Tali'Zorah. It read: "I'm in the neighborhood. Mind if I join you?" Obviously, she had found him because of the tracking signal his omnitool had been equipped with, along with all the others on Shepard's ground team.

Curious, he activated the local map on his tool, pressing a few holographic commands in order to visualize both their positions. His red and her green icons were separated by a couple of levels and few hundred meters of corridors, but the green one was slowly making its way in his direction. _Ah… and why not._ He was pretty much done with his heavy thinking for now anyway, and some company could be distracting… With application, he composed an appropriate reply on the large holographic keyboard that hovered above his tool, carefully choosing how to express his agreement. Finally, with the tip of a claw, he sent a laconic "All right" on its way.

Barely two minutes later, the quarian appeared at the entrance of 'The Frozen Scream.' She quickly spotted him – a krogan was hard to miss in a place like that, or just about anywhere for that matter – and walked over. As she took a seat opposite him, he asked gruffly, "Quarian, aren't you supposed to be looking after the ship's engine?"

Looking around the place, the other patrons and the décor, she didn't react to his tone - which he knew was considered blunt or even impolite by most. She just replied, "Yes, that's what I was planning to do, but Chief Engineer Adams almost threw me out on the dock, ordering me to 'go out and have fun.' So I decided to do just that while Shepard, Garrus and Liara are trying to find out about her mother." She looked back at him and added, "My name is Tali, by the way."

Mildly amused by her reaction, Wrex merely grunted in reply and then swallowed the few milliliters of liquid that remained in his mug.

Apparently taking his reaction as a positive sign, Tali decided to continue the conversation. "I don't like walking around without my weapons … I even had to leave my knife at the dock's security station. I heard Shepard and the others were allowed to carry theirs, though."

He nodded. "Shepard probably has Spectre privileges here. But for all of us, that's the standard on Noveria… Only the security guards have weapons."

"Yes, obviously. These ERCS guards are so rude. They're even worse than C-Sec. I had a hard time getting directions from them… You see, I had this idea of looking for quarians that might be employed here, you know, to chat a little… I searched all over Port Hanshan, but from what I was told, it seems that none have been here in the last several months." Wrex just looked at her without reacting, waiting for her to say something that was worth a response. She hesitated, then added. "…You know, my people have dealt with the corporations here in the past. On Noveria I mean. Apparently, they pay well and ask no questions."

Wrex nodded at that. "That's true. I used to get a lot of freelance business here."

That seemed to pique her interest and she leaned forward, elbows on the table. "Freelance business? What would someone with your 'skills' do in a place like this? I heard you tell of some of your adventures before, in the mess hall. I wonder how you've been able to do the same thing here, with no weapons and with all the security."

She was curious, like some of the humans on the Normandy who seemed to never get enough gory stories. Wrex considered her for a couple of seconds, then looked at the empty mug in his hand. _Maybe the quarian can be useful after all._ "I don't mind telling you about my jobs, but you should offer me a drink." He pushed his mug toward her, adding, "It's ryncol for me."

Tali looked at the large thing, then back up at him. "Hmm… I thought people here were rude. But compared to you, they're actually charming." Grabbing the mug, she got up and made her way to the bar.

Wrex watched as she got the bartender's attention and started talking with him, pointing in his direction. Dregs of his previous reflections came back to him as he looked on. Quarians and krogans had one thing in common: both species were teetering on the edge of extinction. For everything else however, they were opposites. Unlike the krogans, and despite their physical weakness, quarians stuck together against the rest of the galaxy, refusing to accept their fate. Every day, they fought for survival, sustained by the impossible hope of - one day - getting their homeworld back. Krogans on the other hand were just going downhill. Despite their considerable physical strength, they had no hope, no direction, and they were wasting their lives for nothing, often fighting and killing one another. _And up to now, I've been doing the same. _He knew that this had to change, that **HE** had to change. For that, he would have to pay more attention to Shepard and how he was doing things.

He was shaken out of his thoughts as the quarian came back carrying his ryncol with both hands and, tucked under an arm, a thin transparent tube filled with amber liquid. "There you go..." She gave him his drink and exhibited the tube for him to see. "…and I got myself some turian wine. I've paid for yours by the way… no need to thank me." As she sat down, she added, "After all, the credits Shepard gives us are more than enough to allow for expenses like that."

Wrex grunted. _Thanking her?_ It had never even crossed his mind - it was up to her if she wanted to pick up the tab. But the other thing she had said was true; Shepard's system, where everyone on the ground team received an equal share of the loot, was amounting to a reasonable pay. They had taken down quite a number of pirate bases and other criminal operations in the last couple of weeks, and most had been loaded with credits and other valuables.

While the quarian hooked the tube of wine to a slot at the lower front part of her helmet and started sampling its content, he was trying to find something that might be interesting to tell about his previous jobs on Noveria. In fact, most of his previous jobs here had been rather ordinary, like escorting high-level corporate officials, delivering threats and collecting on debts. There had been an easy elimination contract though, which had been short and fun-

"I thought you said you would tell me what you did here before."

He grumbled. "Give me a second, quarian..."

"Tali. The name is Tali." As far as he could tell, she was glaring at him.

He grumbled again. "So you said before." He took a swig from his ryncol. "Look, I've got just the right story for you. Still interested?"

She nodded without hesitation, and he started with some warnings. "But I'm not giving out names or other details… You know, professional secrets and all…"

"You're a bounty hunter, a gun for hire. I get it."

He chuckled. "That's right." He took a deep breath and started his story. "Some years ago, I was hired to eliminate a man here that had been blackmailing my client. It had to look like an accident. That wasn't a problem for me – I can be creative when necessary. My client had given me some details on the target's daily routine; where and when he got to work, where he went for lunch, and so on. Basically, I arranged to be where he was and, when I was sure the timing was good, I just 'accidentally' fell on him." That was it. Short and fun.

Tali had a gesture as if she was disgusted, her shoulders projecting forward as she pushed herself away a little from the table. "Huh, that seems… painful."

"Yeah, maybe. For a second, as I was getting back up on my feet, I thought I heard him scream a little. But I think it was just the air leaking out of his lungs. When I turned to look at him, he was not breathing anymore and I'm sure his neck was broken. Humans can't bend their neck like that usually."

Tali pushed herself a little more from the table, slumping slightly in her chair. "Ugh!"

Wrex was amused by her reaction. He was sure she had grimaced behind her mask. _Maybe I should tell her how it was to feel and hear the man's bones breaking under me._ Despite her proficiency in battle, especially with her omnitool and shotgun combo, she was as soft as most of the humans and the asari on the Normandy. He decided not to bother with the gory details and just explained, "It was a neat little job. The gravity here is on the low side so, to make sure I got it right on the first try, I did jump a little before the fall."

Tali brought a gloved hand to her visor. "Eww… I know I asked for it, but this one story will be enough for now, thank you."

He shrugged. "Anyway, just to tell you that I was well paid and no questions were asked, like you said. There was a small inquiry from ERCS guards, but nothing came of it - my client probably paid the usual bribes."

For a while after that, nothing was said between the two as they quietly concentrated on their respective drink.

Before long however, flashing lights on the large screen over the bar caught Wrex's attention. It was some kind of special bulletin. Some of the images that went by showed a human that he had no difficulty recognizing. Indicating the screen with a claw, he exclaimed, "Hey, looks like Shepard's already made the news!"

Tali turned around, and both watched with attention, followed in that by everyone in 'The Frozen Scream,' the human slumped at the bar excepted.

The voice of a turian newscaster was announcing disturbances at an Administrator's office and at a corporate headquarter. Short clips went by, showing medics, ERCS personnel and ERCS vehicles. Another clip showed gurneys being pushed in an elevator, followed by a close-up on a plate by the side of the elevator doors, with the inscription: 'Synthetic Insights.' The voice mentioned casualties resulting from a gunfight, and allegations of corruption involving some ERCS security personnel - which were among the casualties - and a salarian named Anoleis, who apparently was the Administrator of Port Hanshan. It then announced that a joint declaration by ERCS and Noveria internal affairs had been issued barely a minute before.

The view changed to a smiling spokeswoman – a human - saying that everything was under control and that an internal threat had been dealt with, thanks to a close collaboration between Noverian authorities and John Shepard, the first human Spectre. She finished by saying, "We are still analyzing some aspects of the incident but rest assured that the security of our clients, residents and collaborators is always at the top of our priorities."

The newscaster then appeared on the screen, saying that the recent arrival of the Spectre had made many people nervous on Noveria and that, in retrospect, it had apparently been a justified sentiment. He announced a possible interview with Shepard, as a journalist was presently on the scene of Administrator Anoleis' recent arrest.

The view changed again, showing a large and well-lit enclosure, with some ERCS guards and other people milling around. The camera then zeroed in on Shepard who, flanked by Garrus and Liara, was talking with a dark-skinned human woman in a red dress. As the camera approached Shepard, the journalist's salarian voice was heard, giving a brief comment on the Spectre's recent nomination and his accomplishments in the human System's Alliance, followed by a brief mention of the fact he was involved in Saren's disgrace, having proven the ex-Spectre's involvement with the geth attack on Eden Prime. The journalist then came close enough to introduce himself and his news channel. But even before he could ask a question, Shepard looked straight at the camera and said, "Sorry, I will not comment. I'm not here to meddle in politics." He then nodded at the dark-skinned woman, signaled Garrus and Liara, and the trio just walked away. The journalist, obviously upset and disappointed, stepped in front of the camera. "There you have it. Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre, declined to comment. No doubt this will feed into the wild speculations already circulating about possible galactic connections with what happened today in Port Hanshan."

As the special bulletin gave way to the usual news, Tali turned back to face Wrex. Putting her empty tube of wine down on the table, she said, "I knew Shepard wouldn't lose any time in his investigation. But still… that was fast."

Wrex nodded, "Yeah… Shepard sure doesn't hold back." He was not overly surprised; it was pretty much in the man's character. "Sorry I missed the fight, though. I always wondered how tough ERCS 'security personnel' really are."

A series of harsh laughs drew their attention to the nearby group of turians. One was pointing a claw at the screen, exclaiming loudly "I still can't believe humans have a Spectre! You've got to be kidding me. These humans are just loudmouthed bullies… nothing more. What'll they ask for next? A seat on the Council?"

The two others started laughing. One was clearly inebriated, slurring as he added "They say he's going after Saren… the great Saren. Can you believe that?"

Wrex was just starting to process what was going on when the third turian added, between snickers, "Yeah… Have you seen how that Shepard looks, with his shiny toy armor? Like an amateur… Saren will just put him in his place. That'll show the humans what they're worth."

He glanced at the human at the bar. With such loud insults against her species, Wrex half expected her to get up and start an argument with the turians. _That would be fun to watch._ If it got into a fight, he had no doubt that she would get smacked easily, though. Most humans were quite soft, while all turians had military training. But the woman was slumped on the top of the counter, not moving. Either she had no spine, or she was completely drunk.

The quarian's loud voice made him turn his head. "That's enough!" she exclaimed as she got up and, to his complete surprise, approached the turians who also were looking at her, probably as surprised as he was. Further off, the two salarians had stopped their conversation and were also looking at the spectacle.

Tali pointed a finger at turians. "I've had enough of ignorant bosh'tets like you putting other species down. Humans are better than this, and Shepard will kick Saren – your murderous traitor - from one end of the Galaxy to the other!"

The first turian that had spoken, maybe the leader of the group, got up and faced Tali. He was not much taller than her, but his broad shoulders made him appear much bigger. "Look quarian, this is none of your business." Behind him, the two other turians had been whispering together and one then said to the first, "Hey, a quarian coming to the defense of humans and their Spectre, that says a lot!" The three then started laughing again.

Tali, visibly furious, exclaimed "Hey, you! Stop laughing!" She stepped forward and pushed the first turian who, taken by surprise, staggered backward and hit the table where the two others were still seated. Most glasses and bottles on the table crashed on the floor and the laughing stopped abruptly. One glass had emptied its contents – deep blue dextro wine - on the lap of the slurring turian.

Wrex smiled as he came back from his surprise. _That quarian too… she doesn't hold back._ Having seen her at work on a couple of missions, he had no doubt the turians were in for a big surprise if they thought they could beat her. Then again, maybe she was counting on him to back her up, which would explain why she had been so bold.

However, the quarian seemed to hesitate and, instead of following up with more aggression like the situation demanded, she just stood there and, again, pointed a finger at them. In a tone that was less self-assured than before, she added, "That's for your prejudices. I hope you learned your lesson."

At that point, Wrex realized she hadn't meant to go so far as to risk an actual fight. Maybe she had not adjusted well to the local gravity and pushed harder than she had intended. In any case, it was obvious to him she didn't know what to do next. He was sure that her hesitation would be interpreted as weakness by the turians, making a fight all but inevitable.

As Wrex fully expected, the first turian, the one the quarian had pushed, was already back on his feet and approaching her menacingly. He was pointing at the table behind him. "Look what you've done, filthy quarian! You've spilled our drinks! You're going to pay for that!"

Realizing how the situation had turned to her disadvantage, Tali prepared to defend herself. Taking a combat stance, she activated her omnitool, then waved her other hand to ward the man off. "I think you deserved it. Just suck it up!"

That had been felt like a further affront by the turian workers; the two others got on their feet and stepped on each side of the first, adding to the tension. The situation was degenerating fast and Wrex knew that what was about to unfold would be worth watching.

The quarian glanced at him briefly, confirming Wrex's impression that she expected him to come to her help. The small gesture was not missed by her opponents however, and one said "Ah! That krogan wouldn't lift a claw to help a mere quarian. He's probably enjoying the show."

Wrex grunted in annoyance at being so easy to read. But the turian had a point - he had no intention of interfering. She had started the whole thing, after all. _Let her deal with the consequences of her actions._ He'd rather be entertained by a good fight. In any case, he was quite confident the young woman was tough enough to stand her ground.

As the two parties continued to exchange insults and provocations, and as he eyed the two salarians leave their drinks on their table and wisely seek the security of the other side of the room, Wrex started thinking of the possible negative consequences of a fight here and now. No doubt there would be extensive property damage, especially if the quarian dared use her omnitool – and he had no doubt that she would. Then the turians would probably get hurt as all the electronics in their clothes got fried by an overload or they got blown apart by some tech mines. Local ERCS forces would likely show up, called by the bartender as soon as the fight got started for real. That last part was the worst: the quarian would get arrested, then there would be delays and expensive bribes to pay, and Shepard would be pissed. All of this went through his mind in less than a second and he concluded reluctantly that just enjoying the show was not an option. He sighed as he reached his decision. He needed to avoid trouble, and he knew that this called for diplomacy. Diplomacy was not his preferred way of dealing with trouble, but Shepard was good at it and he needed to get better at it too. _Let's count that as a practice run._ Sure, he was doing it for a mere quarian, but he had to start somewhere.

Surprisingly fast for one of his weight, size and age, he got up, readied his biotics and moved to interpose his considerable mass between the quarian and the turians. A faint but unmistakable bluish haze of biotics enveloped the hand that he planted firmly on the lead turian's chest. He looked him right in the eyes as he said, in a tone that left no doubt as to his seriousness, "Stop right there, turian."

As his two buddies prudently stepped back, the lead turian unwaveringly asked "And why would I do that?"

_Typical turian bravado. _Wrex expected nothing less from them - turians were tough nuts to crack most of the time, with their honor and all. He inched slightly closer to add more weight to what he was about to say. "Listen." He waved his other hand at Tali. "She regrets what she's done. All you have to do is accept her apologies, and everyone can go home with all their limbs attached."

His eyes not leaving the huge krogan, the turian did not flinch and - to his credit – his voice was level as he asked his pals, "What do you think guys?"

Obviously wanting to save face, one wisely said, "Well… not much happened, really. It's just a stupid argument about a couple of Spectres or something… and some spilled wine."

Wrex nodded at the leader "See? Just a stupid argument." He turned slightly to glance in Tali's direction. "And she's going to buy you each another drink…"

Tali nodded at that, although she did not budge, keeping her omnitool at the ready.

The turian's bearing relaxed slightly, just enough to show his agreement without losing face. He looked at Tali, but did not wait for her to formally apologize. "All right then... Apology accepted." Turning, the three turians slowly went back to their table and started picking the bottles and glasses from the floor, shooting a few dark glances in their direction.

Solving problems with diplomacy felt disappointingly unfulfilling to Wrex, despite its effectiveness. There was a tension in his blood that had not been released and it was gnawing at him. He would need to work on his act a little bit more. _Next time, I'll have to break something... or kill somebody…_

Meanwhile, Tali had given up her combat stance and was looking at him as she turned her omnitool off. "Thanks for the support. I was starting to think you'd let me fight it out by myself. My overload was just about to hit when you arrived."

Wrex muttered to himself, "Just as I thought." Turning to look at her, he let a bit of anger seep into his voice as he added, "I hope you realize I just saved you, me and Shepard a lot of trouble."

The quarian seemed contrite. "Yeah, I think I was in over my head in this one..." But her voice perked up a little. "It's good to know I can count on my teammates when in need, though. Thanks again."

Wrex just shrugged at that. "Don't get excited, quarian. I was just rehearsing."

"What?"

He was certainly not going to explain that. Pointing at the bartender, who was already approaching the turians' table with some cleaning implements, he said, "Go pay your dues and then we're going back to the ship - I've got a feeling Shepard's about to call us. The way he's been shaking this place up, I'd be surprised if he hasn't found what he's looking for."

Dumbfounded, Tali just did as she was told. To Wrex's satisfaction, she had not even bothered protesting the fact he had called her 'quarian' again.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

The setting. Noveria is a cold planet in the Pax system, located between salarian and human space. Apparently, it is just outside Citadel space and that's why corporations go there, mainly to do research that is not allowed by Citadel laws and regulations. Noveria's atmosphere is breathable, with slightly reduced atmospheric pressure (0.87 atmospheres) and significantly lower gravity (0.81G) than earth. The planet's rocky surface is covered by snow, ice and glaciers. The colony was founded in 2163, and this means that all the installations should be pretty recent.

It's not stated anywhere for sure but, considering the date Noveria was founded, it probably is in large part a human colony. In fact, it's a corporate/privately owned colony chartered by the Noveria Development Corporation (a holding funded by two dozen high technology firms) administered by an Executive Board. In the game, the population on Noveria appears to be fairly cosmopolitan, with almost all the usual council species present.

From the codex, the population on Noveria is 361,400 in 2183. Outside of Port Hanshan (Noveria's space port and capital) are seventeen mostly self-sufficient research centers (including Peak 15, where Shepard has to go to find Lady Benezia), each with a staff numbering in the hundreds. I don't think there's much agriculture going on Noveria, maybe some mining. That means that most of the population is probably located in Port Hanshan itself, which must certainly be housing at least 250 000 individuals.

In game (ME1), everything in Port Hanshan happens around the administrative area, a very large plaza around which are located Administrator Anoleis' office, Opold's emporium, the bar of the hotel, Synthetic Insight's local headquarters, the docks and the garage. Considering the population in Port Hanshan, the docks are probably much larger than what we see in the game, and the same applies to the garage, which certainly must include a few more bays like the one we see in game. Also, the settlement has to be much larger than the administrative area we see in game. The weather being rather inhospitable on Noveria, my speculation is that most of the population of Port Hanshan live in well-insulated underground facilities. These could be natural or artificial caves that have been furbished with all the amenities of a city: living quarters, commercial districts, light and heavy industrial sectors, power plant(s), water and waste processing facilities, schools, hospital(s), etc…

My take on the population of such a place is that few stay there for long. It's too isolated and inhospitable to attract real colonists, raise a family, or as a place where anyone would retire… I'm not saying that none of that would go on, but rather that most people on Noveria would be transient workers; they would come on short term contracts (few months to a few years at most) to make money, gain experience, and then they would go somewhere else to move on with their life. Workers would be well paid, but the cost of living would be high (most consumable – especially the food - being shipped in from other worlds). Things would be pretty boring for the local population, and there would be a fairly lively black market to compensate for that, offering the usual stuff: drug, sex, gaming, etc.

In the game, we learn that security on Noveria is provided by Elanus Risk Control Services (ERCS), which is one of the corporations having a foothold on that planet. From what I understand, it's basically a big weapons and armor conglomerate that also provides security/mercenary services up to and including ships for anti-piracy operations. Security is very heavy on Noveria, with lots of armed ERCS guards all over the place, acting like the local police force. In game, the ERCS people are pretty rude if your Shepard tries to talk with them. There would likely be some orbital defense systems, along with a few ships.

Corruption is big on Noveria, an accepted part life as long as it doesn't 'rock the boat.' ERCS people are not immune to corruption as we learn in the game, with the fight at Synthetic Insight and the subsequent arrestation of Administrator Anoleis (the corrupt, arrogant and very rude administrator of Port Hanshan).

The atmosphere in Port Hanshan is stuffy and somewhat oppressive. The administrative building is made of gray concrete, with hard straight lines and sharp edges everywhere. Large, open and empty spaces (mainly in the plaza, but also the bar of the hotel and Synthetic Insights' offices) add to the alienating environment. People are mostly rude, which adds to the overall effect (and that's not only Administrator Anoleis and the ERCS thugs, but also the random business people Shepard may try to talk to). Even the asari spy in the hotel bar insults Shepard, calling him 'dull stone.'

How would the media be like in such a corporate place? On one hand, the need for secrecy would argue against there being any media worthy of the name. On the other, sometimes spinning the news is better than letting wild rumors go around. In this piece, I made the bold speculation that there would be some local news media on Noveria, with the official objective of revealing the truth… But I have no doubt that it would be severely controlled by back door maneuverings to ensure that it would not 'rock the boat' as Giana Parasini says to Shepard in the game.

About Saren. I always wondered how the galactic population at large had reacted when it was announced that, due to his involvement in the attack on Eden Prime, Saren had been stripped of his Spectre status and that a price had been put on his head. Up to that point, Saren was apparently the best known Spectre, and probably had lots of fans. Being a greater than life figure, I expect a lot of people – more so among turians I would think – would have been shocked and in a state of disbelief at hearing these news. I can just imagine the rumors of human-led conspiracy against him that would have spread like wildfire, especially in a context where ordinary galactic citizens (again, more so among turians I would think) are already wary of brash humans and their expansionist drive. That's why I had the turian workers express anti-human views in this chapter.

About Wrex. Like asari, krogans live pretty long (if they're smart enough) and that certainly must be coloring their take on life. Wrex is the son of a warlord (Jarrod, one of the few warlords to survive the krogan rebellions) and we learn through ME1 that he was involved in his homeworld's politics as a progressive, pushing for change (less fighting, more reproducing). Funny, but in a way, Wrex might be seen as the krogan equivalent of a hippie (make love, not war!). He had to kill his father to save himself (yes, he is another Bioware character with father issues). Because of that, he left Tuchanka and has been roaming the galaxy since then, as a mercenary and bounty hunter. He has basically given up on his people, and doesn't like to talk about it.

If you remember the game (ME1), Shepard prods Wrex a few times when doing his/her rounds. Eventually, he/she gets the full story about the krogan's origins and doings on his homeworld. At the end of Wrex's revelations, Shepard seems disappointed by the fact that Wrex has given up on his people. Shepard's opinion probably hurt the krogan's feelings and this is probably what pushes Wrex along the path that will later (in ME2 if you do not kill him on Virmire) lead him to Tuchanka where he will try to make things right by becoming the leader of clan Urdnot, unifying the clans/tribes, etc…

How old is Wrex? This question has been discussed at length on several forums. There is no official answer as far as I know, apart from the fact he apparently is more than three centuries old (from Mass Effect Wiki). He may be up to a thousand. In any case, he's too young to have taken part in the rachni war or the subsequent krogan rebellions (which ended more than 1300 years before Shepard met Wrex), but maybe old enough to know what an unsuited quarian looks like. Being the oldest aboard the Normandy, Wrex may also be the wisest, even if he doesn't show it. He's the typical 'strong and silent type' and almost never loses his temper.

It's not too clear why Wrex decided to follow Shepard in the first place. Most likely, he wanted to see some action and be in the thick of it. In a few places in the games, it is obvious Wrex relies heavily on his instincts. For example, he tells Shepard that he knew his father was preparing a trap for him on Tuchanka when he was invited to a meeting in the Hollows. Also, he tells Shepard of the time he had been hired by Saren, and how he had had a bad feeling about the turian and decided to leave as quickly as possible… which was the right decision since all the other mercenaries that stayed in Saren's service turned up dead shortly after that. My take is that Wrex decided to follow Shepard because he had the gut feeling that this was the right thing to do. As simple as that.

My interpretation of Wrex at this point in the story (at the start of the Noveria mission) is that he is unsure if he wants to stick around with Shepard or just leave. He's used to work mostly alone and to be self-reliant (after all, he's been doing that for centuries!). To top it off, Shepard has been questioning him (on his rounds in between small missions) a little too much and in a somewhat disrespectful way. What is probably most irritating for him is that Shepard actually criticized him for having abandoned his efforts to help his people. But I think Wrex knows deep down inside that Shepard is right. That's why the anger is directed more at himself than at Shepard.


	10. Pumping Eezo

Hey, glad to be back. We're passed the midpoint in the Mass-Effect (ME1) storyline, and it's finally Jeff 'Joker' Moreau's turn to give us his POV. Thereafter, the story will continue with some of the previously introduced POVs. I also plan on doing at least one chapter in Tali's POV at some point.

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

Background: Shepard and his crew have left Noveria a couple of days ago and have not accomplished much since then as they are still reeling from multiple injuries (all minor, of course), and also from what they learned back there: Lady Benezia was indoctrinated, Saren's mysterious ship has something to do with the indoctrination, they have the coordinates to the mu relay which apparently could lead them to the conduit (whatever it is), they have found live rachni and Shepard (paragon) has freed the rachni queen.  
Shepard has lost a full day on Noveria after the incident at Peak 15, collaborating with local authorities in piecing the complete story together. Since they left the planet, he has been in frequent contact with Alliance's Intelligence Service (AIS) in an effort to gather more information and have a better idea of what's going on, looking for leads, etc.  
At the same time, the list of special side-missions has gotten pretty long recently and the Normandy is currently making its way toward Luna where Shepard will have to deal with a rogue VI that has taken control of a training facility. The logical next step for Shepard would be to investigate geth sightings in the Armstrong nebula, hoping to find a lead on Saren's location or Saren's next move, but the intel is scant and Shepard must find a way to narrow the list of possible targets down to a manageable number of systems before committing to that task. For now, Virmire is not even on the radar (not like in the game, where Shepard is told about it quite early).

This chapter's setting: Normal life on the Normandy (a military ship) probably would include maintenance of physical fitness. I would assume it is strongly encouraged for every crewmember to follow some kind of training program. Shepard, Kaidan, Ashley and some of the Marines are probably at the gym every couple of days. Even the pilot, Jeff 'Joker' Moreau, must have to submit to this requirement, maybe even more than the rest of the crew – see what I mean down below.  
But I'm sure Joker likes going to the gym. Despite the crummy jokes he must have to endure from some of his fellow crewmembers, the gym must be a good place to gossip (and more).

My take on Jeff, his character and his improbable disease in another hefty author's note appended at the end of the chapter, if you're interested. Also some notes on the gym and – again – Tali's suit.

My thanks to Vocarin for beta-reading this chapter.

**Note added on July 22 2013**: I just learned of the comic 'Mass Effect: He Who Laughs Best,' which describes how Joker was recruited to pilot the Normandy. The comic was released on May 4 2013, exactly four days before this current chapter of 'Quarian with a Shotgun' was published. Wow.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Pumping Eezo.**

Carefully, trying to ignore the whine from the nearby treadmill, Jeff went over the bike's configuration. _Seat position – check. Handlebar height and angle – check. Pedal to bracket distance – check._ Even in these modern times, with VI controlled servos automatically adjusting all parameters according to his last training session, he still felt that a real life visual double check was a must. After all, just one error and he could get hurt. Satisfied, he cautiously climbed on the seat and gave a couple of slow turns to the pedals, testing everything one last time. _Good._ Going through the menus on the bike's control panel, he made sure his training session would be recorded and logged officially. As the bike's training program initiated, he grabbed the handlebar and started to pedal, easing himself into the warm-up phase.

He glanced at the two other occupants of the cramped training room, just in time to realize that Thompson, the tallest Marine on the Normandy, had just finished his workout. The man was not just tall. He was LARGE. The ridiculously big muscles stretching his sweaty white t-shirt were in fact giving the impression that he had no neck, as if his tiny blond head was resting directly on his prominent shoulders. Passing by him as he maneuvered his way out of the gym, a white towel in one hand, Thompson smirked. "Don't give up, Joker… One day maybe you'll be big and strong too."

Jeff rolled his eyes and fired back at once, "Big and strong? Nah… they'd change my job and make me guard a stupid door all day long."

The big man just shrugged and laughed out loud as he stomped out the door.

Jeff also shrugged, but he was not laughing. _Freakin' asshole. _He had learned a long time ago not to show how the stupid jokes bothered him. They came with his 'condition,' like a package deal. He had adapted by fighting back, his quick wit providing him with ample munitions for these perpetually recurring verbal skirmishes.

The noise from the treadmill started to taper down and he looked on as Shepard went from a brisk run to a fast walk. _Great. _Now that he was alone with him, maybe he could get the commander to talk and reveal something. He just had to wait for the right time. A fair amount of credits were hanging in the balance and any hint could provide him with a precious edge against the other members of the betting pool, and especially against Junior Navigator Xiang, who was the shrewdest of his rivals and had already bested him on a few smaller bets...

Shepard was not as big as Thompson, but he still was impressively muscular. _A lean, mean, fighting machine. _His marine blue shorts and white t-shirt were showcasing his well-proportioned, athletic body. Every one of the commander's muscles seemed full of energy and strength, in stark contrast with Jeff's own comparatively scrawny little arms and, especially, his misshapen legs, which he was happy to hide beneath long-sleeved sweat pants.

Still straining to catch up with his breath as he was slowing down some more, Shepard glanced at him and managed to say, "Seems you always… get those kind… of comments."

"Yeah, often enough… I don't let them get to me, though." Jeff smirked as he looked back at the commander, "Can't call it a day until I've dissed at least one jerk!"

Shepard stepped down from the treadmill, picked his towel from the machine's handlebar and wiped the perspiration from his face. He smirked back at the pilot. "Ah… Wish I had your talent… for dissing, I mean… Kept bumping into people... who deserved some of this... back on Noveria."

"You mean the one who called you a 'colonial rube,' or the one who called you a 'dull stone?'" Poking fun at one's superior could be risky, but Shepard was not as tight-assed as most COs Jeff had worked under and, by now, he was used to his pilot's quirkiness.

Shepard winced as he looked back at him. "So… Heard about that… Didn't you…"

Taking a couple of seconds to readjust his cap, Jeff's smirk expanded as he revealed his source. "Yeah… A certain turian told me. I think it was the first time I heard him laugh, in fact. Hey, maybe there's hope for the turian species after all if you were able to make one laugh – even if it was at your expense."

"Yeah… I guess." His breathing almost back to normal by then, Shepard chuckled briefly. But his smile quickly melted as a shadow passed over his features. "…though I wish the rest of what happened on Noveria had been as funny."

The sudden turn in his commander's mood was a bit surprising for Jeff. He had always perceived Shepard as an upbeat, 'ready for anything' kind of guy. Seeing him preoccupied like that was unusual and he didn't really know what to say. Up to now, piloting the Normandy had been a dream come true for him, an opportunity to put his abilities to the test. He now realized however that it was far too easy for him to forget how tough things could be for Shepard and his team, having to physically confront enemies on the ground while he was comfortably seated in the Normandy's cockpit, high above the fray.

There were not many secrets aboard, and Jeff – as most of the crew – had learned all about what had happened three days ago in Peak 15, back on Noveria; lots of dead civies, rachni on the loose, squads of geth and hostile asari commandos. They even had to kill Benezia, Liara's mother, right in front of her eyes. They had been lucky not to have any casualties, but the battles had been harsh and even the krogan had a limp when the ground team had come back. And then, the cherry on top had been the Citadel Council giving Shepard a bad grade for his performance.

Seeing Shepard like that made him uncomfortable and he felt the urge to say something. Thinking of the stupid Council's reprimand, he shook his head and went for a show of support. "Don't worry Commander… For what it's worth, I'm one hundred percent behind you. You did kick major ass down there, and I'm proud to be your driver to your next kick-ass destination."

The somber look on the Spectre's face dissipated as he looked back at him. "Thanks for the pep-talk, Joker. That was our toughest battle yet, but now at least we know we're on the right track and catching up with Saren." There seemed to be fire in his eyes as he continued. "Now, all we need is a clue on the location of the conduit… Then we can go through the Mu relay and end this."

That was more like the commander he had come to know. But their next stop was on Luna and he still did not understand why Shepard had accepted the assignment – it seemed like a distraction more than anything else, during which time Saren could pursue his nefarious plans. He voiced his concerns. "Maybe I don't see the big picture, but the moon doesn't look like the best place to find clues on the so-called conduit, whatever it is…"

"No… Of course not! We're going there as a special favor to the Alliance. Call that a show of good will… or political posturing if you will, to make our sponsors happy. Plus, doing something easier will take our minds off what happened on Noveria. And while we take care of the rogue VI, I'm hoping some of our allies will come up with more solid intel than 'geth sightings in the Armstrong Nebula,' which is pretty nebulous as it is… I mean, it could take weeks to investigate a place like that!"

Jeff nodded at that and, as his commander was wiping his face again, he decided it was time to act. The opportunity was as good as it would ever be. He felt bad doing this to Shepard, but he had to win the bet... There was the money, but his pride also was on the line. Xiang was proving to be much more challenging than Jeff had thought at first, when the pool had started. Xiang was also the one who had had the idea of betting on Shepard's possible affair(s). Betting was against Alliance's rules of course, but like anything else, there were consequences only if you got caught. Thus, discretion was imperative.

Just as Shepard was done with his towel, Jeff cleared his throat and asked, feigning mere curiosity, "Hum… Commander? Rumor has it that the asari has remained in her cabin since you came back from Peak 15… She must be pretty shaken by what has happened back there…" Inwardly, Jeff was grimacing. That had sounded much less subtle than he had intended.

Shepard was frowning, obviously wondering why the pilot had asked, but then he just shrugged and replied, "She seems to have taken the whole thing much better than I would have thought…" He paused for a moment, apparently choosing his words before continuing. "She's hard to understand… so detached… Hell, even after all those years, I still get queasy whenever I think of my parents…"

Jeff knew immediately that he was referring to his own personal tragedy on Mindoir, when he was still a kid, and just nodded at him, not wanting to risk saying something awkward.

After a short moment of silence, the commander just shrugged again. "Maybe that's how asari grieve… or maybe it's got something to do with her personality… you know, so scientific..."

Shepard didn't seem too concerned for the blue alien and that was exactly the kind of hint Jeff had been looking for. It increased the odds in favor of Ashley, who was currently leading all the other possible candidates on his list. But that this single hint was not enough. He needed more - much more than that - if he wanted to beat Xiang.

The commander turned to look at the two weight machines at the back of the room and moved toward the one that sported the bench press. Over his shoulder, he asked, "So, no changes to the ETA?"

"No. It's still around twenty-four hours to the Sol system. But you know how it is… There's always the possibility of a delay if there's a lineup at the next relay. Also, Adams insisted we have another practice run at discharging the core around a gas giant - Pressly's trying to set this up around Jupiter or maybe Saturn... And then we'll have to refill our He-3 tanks… So, we probably won't make it to the moon before something like 48 hours."

"Ah… well, that's more rack time for us I guess..."

As he watched Shepard access the bench press' control panel, Jeff found himself reflecting on his relationship with the commander. They were about the same age, but that was probably the only thing they had in common. He usually had a tough time respecting his superiors - most were just self-important jerks... But Shepard and Anderson were not like that. They were the real deal. Plus, he owed both of them big time for standing up for him when Alliance Command had tried to have another pilot come and take his place just after Eden Prime, the rationale being that the risks of the mission clearly exceeded what he should be exposed to considering his 'special' condition… He wasn't privy to the details of what had happened, but Shepard and Anderson had successfully countermanded the order.

His itinerary up to now had been anything but standard, a combination of talent, sheer luck and a succession of exceptionally supportive people met along the way. He thought briefly of his mother, who had started the ball rolling years ago, with her crusade to get him into the academy despite the Alliance's strict health-related admission criteria. From then on, supervised by the Alliance's Office of Special Cases (AOSC) - that had been created apparently just for him - his talent and hard work had done the rest. Well... almost. Without Anderson's insistence that the best pilot available should be part of the Normandy's flight tests and shakedown mission, he would still be confined to boring supply missions along safer routes, where his 'condition' could not be a liability...

The privilege of being part of the first human Spectre's mission had come with a price, however. Indeed, Alliance Command had imposed a series of conditions on his continued presence on the Normandy, which included daily performance reviews with Shepard and Pressly, along with a closer than usual monitoring of his health and a strenuous physical training program under Dr. Chakwas' supervision. Officially, the purpose of the training was 'to increase his readiness in case of emergency,' but Jeff suspected it was just them trying to find a pretext to get rid of him. _Maybe they hope __I __break a leg or something._ But nothing of the sort had happened, despite a few episodes of swelling of one knee or the other, and the occasional grinding sensation in a joint. What was most annoying with the exercises was the sweating. He hated it. But in the end, and despite all his bitching, he knew he would not hesitate to run a marathon if it meant he could be along for the ride – especially if he could actually drive said ride.

He had considered cheating his way out of it – falsifying his training records would not have been so hard – but he had decided against it in the end. Even if the chances of getting caught were slim, he felt he would never get over the shame of disappointing Shepard's and Anderson's trust if it ever happened. And besides, coming to the training room was not all bad. Reluctantly, he had to admit it had been good for his health as he already felt in much better shape - he was still sweating during his exercises, but he was not out of breath anymore. Also, it was a good chance to meet other crewmembers, to know what was going on elsewhere on the ship, and… to see the ladies dressed in something else than the standard uniform - which was so good at hiding their most interesting 'assets'. Today was disappointing in that respect, but there was still hope; he still had a good thirty minutes of bike to go, and then a good fifteen minutes of very light weight lifting, so there was still a chance for a female crewmember to come in and stimulate his imagination. There was no harm in a little daydreaming after all...

He glanced at the commander as the latter was hunched over one bulbous end of the bench press' steel barbell, apparently checking something on the mass effect device that had replaced the traditional cast iron weights. He snorted as this reminded him of the crafty idea he had had a couple of weeks before – a funnily devious way to cheat on the weight lifting part of his training program by reducing the room's artificial gravity just before showing up. It would have been easy, since he had access to the ship's environmental controls from his seat in the cockpit. However, while 'sticking it to the man' like that would have satisfied his ego, the plan had one fatal flaw: the presence of so many crazed weight lifters on the crew ensured the scheme would be discovered, and sooner rather than later.

The door opened and the noise interrupted Joker's reminiscence. He turned his head in time to see a definitely feminine shape entering the room. _Ah, at last!_ For a very brief moment, his spirits went up, but he quickly realized it was only the quarian. She definitely had nice looking curves, accentuated by her tight suit, but that was exactly what was turning him off about her… the suit, the helmet and even the round flashing light - just where her mouth probably was - were too many reminders of the 'latex/PVC,' 'fetishism' and 'BDSM' subsections in his favorite extranet porn sites, and that had never been the thing for him.

The high had been too brief for any disappointment to register however, and he chased the crummy porn ideas to the back of his mind as he smiled in greeting. "Hey, Tali!" He had had only a few short conversations with her up to now, but she had struck him as a 'nice girl.' And since she was taking care of his ship as part of the engineering team, she definitely had to be a good person. He eyed her again as she got closer; here was another potential source of information for his betting situation.

The woman saluted back. "Hey, Joker." Looking around, she noticed Shepard tinkering with the bench press. "Hey, Shepard!" Joker snorted softly as he noticed the obvious difference in enthusiasm between her salute to him and how she had called on the commander. Clearly, she had a preference for the boss.

Shepard looked over, flashed-her a smile and called back "Tali!" He frowned slightly and added "Hey, I think it's the first time I've seen you here."

"Hum… I was in this room just once, in fact, when I was exploring the ship after we left the Citadel, weeks ago… I was curious about all those machines…" She glanced around at the training equipment, including Jeff's exercise bike.

Shepard seemed puzzled. "Come to think of it, I've seen Garrus and Wrex a few times doing some kind of exercises in the cargo hold, and even Liara doing hers in the back of the laboratory, but I don't think I've ever seen you do any…"

The quarian seemed a little embarrassed at being questioned like that and was fidgeting, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. "Hum…"

"She doesn't have to do any, in fact." The answer, in an authoritative but elegant voice, had come from Dr. Chakwas. She had entered the room without Jeff noticing, and was now standing behind the quarian. "It's her suit…" She looked the quarian over as she explained, "…it stimulates her muscles with tiny precise electric pulses, just enough to keep her in peak shape at all times."

Shepard snorted as he looked at the quarian, a knowing smile spreading on his face. "Ah, yes… The suit of course… Is there anything that thing doesn't do?"

Dr. Chakwas shook her head, answering before Tali could. "Do not forget why she has to wear it in the first place, Commander."

"Yeah… you're right." The man shrugged, his smile fading noticeably. "No offense Tali, but that's almost enough to make me jealous… with all the time I spend exercising…" He looked at the doctor. "Why can't we do the same?"

Again, the doctor shook her head. "Unfortunately Commander, we can't. It works for quarians due in part to their specific physiology, but probably also because of the high degree of precision allowed by the suit's design. We have the same kind of technology, of course, but it has never been shown to work reliably."

Jeff, who had been subjected to all kinds of treatments when he was a kid, as his mother had been desperately trying to find a miracle cure for his disease, knew what she was talking about. "Doc, you're talking about TENS..."

Dr. Chakwas nodded at him. "Yes, Jeff. Exactly. Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation has been tried in many applications but never shown to help much outside of pain control in some specific conditions, and even then it's not really that great."

Jeff nodded. "It never worked for me, that's for sure. But boy did it give me the creeps… the tingly feeling, and then muscles contracting by themselves…" He grimaced as he looked at Tali. "How can you stand that, especially if it's all over… Must be freakin' weird."

She looked back at him and answered matter-of-factly, "It's active during my sleep and I don't notice it anymore… When I just had my suit, it did wake me up a for a time, but I quickly got used to it."

Jeff, who was still in the early part of his biking session and starting to feel a bit sweaty, looked at the doctor. "See how it is with them aliens having all those special perks? And here I am pedaling like a moron…"

The doctor chuckled. "Come on, Jeff…"

"No, seriously. Asari and krogan live for thousands of years, the first with 'magical' biotic powers and the others with 'magical' regeneration, and now it's quarians that don't have to do any exercises… That leaves us and turians in a lurch… And turians don't even have humor to compensate…"

The doctor managed to maintain a calm smile, despite the pilot's comical outburst. "We have to gracefully accept what nature gave us, Jeff. I personally always found that exercising was good for the mind as well as the body… Anyways… think of the poor volus, the hanar or the elcor..." She looked at Shepard, Tali and then back at him and added, "And Jeff… It seems to me that Tali and you are excellent examples of individuals not letting their misfortune – if I may say it that way – get in the way of their life."

She turned to Shepard who, meanwhile, had taken position on the bench press and was now testing his grip on the barbell. It had been activated, and was now sporting absurdly large orange holographic imitations of the traditional cylindrical weight plates at each of its ends, hiding the much smaller bulges where the eezo cores were located. "Commander… speaking of examples, I'd like to have a word with you."

Shepard stopped his preparations and, from his supine position, looked expectantly at the doctor. "I'm all ears, doc."

She indicated the quarian at her side. "I've come here to instruct Tali on some physical therapy, to help in healing a sprained left shoulder she sustained during one of your multiple battles on Noveria. I administered the necessary medication in the joint itself, and now we need to make it move a bit for the treatment to reach its full potential. As sophisticated as her suit is, it seems that healing a sprain is beyond its abilities." She crossed her arms as she moved closer to the Spectre, who was looking alternatively at the older woman and the quarian, obviously wondering where he came into the doctor's plan.

With professional calm and seriousness, Dr. Chakwas continued, "I wanted to request an audience in your office to discuss this matter, but I'm taking advantage of this chance meeting to reprimand you for the bad influence you're having on your team, commander."

From underneath the barbell, Shepard looked surprised. "Wait… What?"

Jeff couldn't believe his luck. _Oh this is going to be interesting. Prime gossip material. And I__'ve got a first row seat._The look of utter dismay on Shepard's face - even if it lasted barely half a second - was one for the records, and the small surprised jerk Tali had when the doctor delivered her 'accusation' was at least as funny. For her part, Dr. Chakwas had kept her calm look and demeanor, as if she knew that she was in her right to speak out and even reprimand the ship's commanding officer. To Jeff, this could only mean that the doctor was raising an issue pertaining to the health and safety of crewmembers. Also, he had no doubt that she was actually enjoying the opportunity of doing it in front of witnesses.

The doctor continued, pointing at the quarian, "Miss Zorah here said nothing about her shoulder problem until just an hour ago. Of course, her work in engineering certainly did not help." She shook her head slightly and, her hands on her hips, she continued. "You know that your crew is looking up to you as an example… And I must say that, up to now, you've made a habit of downplaying your injuries. You do realize that this is the wrong thing to teach to the more impressionable members of your team and that it could have dire consequences. So, there you are… I'm asking you to change your behavior from now on. I need to be told of any injury, even those that you or your team-members think are too minor to worry about."

Jeff looked on as he continued his pedaling. He regretted not having his omnitool on hand to record the whole thing. Feeling the sweat about to start flowing on his forehead, he removed his cap and hung it at the left end of the bike's handlebar. That's when he noticed that the quarian had her hands behind her back and was looking down at the floor as if she wished to disappear through it. _She probably thinks it's her fault if Shepard's getting flogged._

Shepard was considering what the doctor had just said. As far as Jeff knew, there was not much the commander could say or do. Indeed, after a moment, the man nodded in acquiescence. "All right. We'll do as you say doc… I'll talk with everyone next time I'm on my rounds."

A small smile appeared on Dr. Chakwas' lips. "I'm glad this is settled, Commander." The incident being over, she turned to Tali and signaled for her to approach the unoccupied weight machine, where she started teaching the quarian a series of exercises for her injured shoulder.

While he pedaled along, and as Shepard went ahead with a series of repetitions on the bench press, Jeff listened and watched the doctor explaining the few exercises Tali would have to do to speed-up her recovery. The older woman had to call on the quarian's attention a couple of times during the instruction, as the latter was distracted by Shepard's show of strength.

The thought that she could be ogling the commander crossed Jeff's mind, but he had serious doubts... It seemed too unlikely. She was an alien, after all, with incompatible dextro biochemistry like that of the turians, and she had to hide in a suit and behind a mask... Asari were notorious for their xenophilic penchants, but quarians? Quickly, the thought was dismissed and he attributed Tali's distraction to what had to be - for somebody coming from a place where doing exercises was not necessary - a most unusual show. And Shepard's antics were quite something, the muscles of his upper body bulging impressively as he puffed, grimaced and grunted loudly each time he lifted the barbell. Even for Jeff, it seemed a little too much.

After about ten minutes of this going on, and just as Shepard had finished his last set, Dr. Chakwas apparently was satisfied with Tali's exercises. "That's perfect, Tali. Keep using light weights… The most important thing is to keep your shoulder moving without hurting it more. The medication should do the rest. Follow the schedule I gave you and come see me tomorrow… we'll see how you're doing. I'll send a memo to Adams so that you're assigned lighter duties for the next couple of days."

She turned to Shepard, who was sitting on the bench press, wiping his face with his towel. Raising her voice a little, she added, "The Commander should also refrain from giving you any combat duties until I'm sure your shoulder has healed…"

Shepard's gaze went from one woman to the other as he nodded. "Noted…"

The doctor turned to leave, but before she reached the door, the commander called, "Doc, wait!"

Having stopped, she looked back at him, an eyebrow raised questioningly. "Yes?"

He seemed hesitant, as if he was embarrassed. "Doc… I need to show you a small thing before you go… All in the spirit of what we discussed earlier on…"

Dr. Chakwas nodded and approached, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she waited for him to elaborate. Jeff too was waiting, not believing how lucky this day was turning out to be, with even more gossip material falling into his lap.

"On Noveria, my armor was already pretty banged up by the time we reached the neutron purge system and… some spit from the rachni we had to fight down there actually managed to go through a tear in my undersuit… I tried medigel, of course, but it's not getting any better…" As Shepard explained, he pulled on the right side of his shirt, exposing a large bandage on his flank, which he proceeded to peel, revealing a reddish area of skin as large as one of Jeff's hands. There were a few oozing blisters too, near the middle. Shepard continued, "I would have shown you at some point, but now…"

"Shhhhh… that looks bad…" This was exactly what Jeff had been thinking, but he quickly realized the words, barely louder than a whisper, had been spoken by Tali. She had stopped her exercises and was watching intently as the doctor bent down to poke at the skin around the wound.

Shepard winced slightly each time his skin was touched, but remained silent as Dr. Chakwas continued her examination with the help of her omnitool. Obviously to Jeff, the thing felt as bad as it looked. _And he's been doing his running and weight__ l__ifting as if it was nothing…_

After a few seconds, Dr. Chakwas straightened up. "As I said, Commander, it would be much better for everybody if you refrained from trying to treat yourself." She pointed at the wound. "This is a chemical burn, and you're lucky there doesn't seem to be any infection yet on top of it." As she turned and walked toward the exit, she said over her shoulder, "Come see me in the medbay as soon as you're finished with your training… There are other options when medigel is not enough."

As soon as the door closed behind the doctor, and as Shepard was putting the bandage back in its place as best he could, Jeff commented, "Smart move coming clean with her, Commander. Nobody deserves a pissed off doctor."

Grunting softly, the man got up and, his towel on his shoulder, smirked as he replied, "Yeah… Not a good idea to contradict a doctor, especially when she's the only one aboard. Anyway, I'm mostly done here… might as well go right now and get it over with."

He stopped in front of Tali who, seated in the other weight machine, had resumed her exercises with a series of slow shoulder extensions, her elbow pushing upward against a lever. He seemed on the verge of saying something, but the quarian beat him to it. "Sorry I got you in trouble with Dr. Chakwas..."

"Oh... No worries. She's right; that attitude worked well enough when I was just an N7 with the Alliance, but it's different now... So I had it coming."

"Still, she used me..."

"Yeah..." A smirk slowly grew on his lips. "...Impressionable?"

She snorted. "Maybe when we first met, but now? After the tresher maws, the Thorian, the rachni and all the other horrors?"

He chuckled. "Yeah... exactly what I thought." He pointed at her left shoulder and asked, his tone more serious, "Mind telling me exactly how you got hurt?"

She stopped her exercises and held her injured shoulder with her opposite hand as she explained. "Well… at some point during the battle down in the hot labs, I was just behind you when we were almost overrun by a group of smaller rachni… you know, those that look like spiders..." She seemed to shudder, then went on, "Well… they were scuttling right toward you from the sides while you were busy with two of the bigger ones. There was no time to aim and shoot, so I crouched and knocked them aside with my shotgun." She mimicked the move as she explained, her left arm and shoulder making a wide circular motion. "It worked, and I was able to keep them at bay until Liara and Kaidan finished them off."

Shepard nodded. "Yes, I remember… I had the impression the rachni were taking me for a spittoon, and that was about the time I got this burn…" He pointed at his injured side and smiled softly. "I should thank you, Tali… those small bugs are not much of a threat when alone, but on top of the big ones spitting at me, they could have made my situation much worse."

"I… I think I told you that, once. I have your back, Shepard."

Shepard's smile got bigger. "That's good… seems to be working. Keep it that way."

Tali giggled at that. "Right. I still have another shoulder to ruin."

Shepard brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. "Ah! I didn't mean it like that…" He chuckled. "You should try to heal this one before busting the other, please…" More seriously, he added, "And it would be nice if you could come with me on Luna... It's going to be tech heavy."

"Oh… I think I can make it, my shoulder's not that bad - look!" Tali quickly executed a few repetitions of the shoulder extension she was set up to do, grunting slightly at the last one. "…See?"

By that point, Jeff was frowning as he considered how the commander and the quarian were interacting and as he remembered the way she had been ogling him when he was putting on his show on the bench press. _Is there something going on or what? _Then again, maybe it was just his imagination.

Shepard looked at Tali's arm for a moment as he considered her demonstration. "Yeah, well… I'll still need the doctor's approval for that… But it's a good sign, as far as I can tell. Anyway, Joker just told me we still have something like 48 hours before we can even think of starting the mission."

Wrenched from his thoughts by Shepard's mention of his name, Jeff nodded emphatically. "Yes, that's the best estimate right now… It could even be a little longer if there are lineups at all the He-3 stations along the way. And please Commander, I hope you won't be disappointed if I don't sacrifice any part of my anatomy to get the Normandy in front of a lineup…"

Shepard smiled. "Let's just hope that won't be necessary, Lieutenant." He nodded at them, saying, "See you both later" before turning and moving out.

As soon as the door closed behind the commander, leaving Jeff and Tali alone in the room, the latter let a groan out as she held her injured shoulder with her other hand. "Ugh…"

Joker looked at her and smirked, "Shoulder's not so bad, eh?"

"No… Well, nothing has snapped in it yet." She chuckled a bit. "Then again, I would not complain too much if the lineups at the fuel stations are very long…"

As Jeff continued his pedaling – he had only a little more than five minutes to go – he thought about what he had just witnessed. The more he thought about it, and as improbable as it seemed, the more he was convinced there was something going on between the commander and Tali. It could be just friendship, but he felt there was something more to it. If he was right, this could be a game changer and his ticket to victory against Xiang. But he needed more information, something to confirm his impression. He glanced at the quarian as the latter had apparently finished her exercises and was in the process of extricating herself from her machine.

She looked back at him and explained, "I think I've done enough for now… I should go see what kind of jobs Chief Adams will let me do with just one arm."

Jeff didn't know how best to proceed but, if he was going to ask her something, it had to be just now, before she went away. He opted for an indirect approach. "Hmm… Tali, before you go, may I ask you something?"

The quarian stopped midway to the door and turned to face him. "Yes… Sure."

He cleared his throat. "Ah… You may have heard some rumors about Shepard being… ah… 'interested' in Liara, or in Ashley, and/or vice versa…"

"Oh…" Tali's stance seemed to deflate upon hearing this, her shoulders slumping slightly. "…that again?"

He didn't know what to make of her comment, so he went ahead anyway. "You see, I had this discussion with some friends, and we're trying to know if any of those rumors have a basis in reality… Do you know anything about this?"

Her stance suddenly changed as she pointed a middle finger at him, her voice taking on more energy. "What's the matter with you humans? Why are you obsessed with this? Just yesterday in the mess hall, there was this navigator who asked me exactly the same question. And I'm telling you exactly the same thing I told him: No! I have nothing to say on that matter. Good day." With that, she turned and quickly exited. If the door had been hinged, he had no doubt the quarian would have slammed it.

"Wow!" He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he considered what had just happened. He did not know much about quarian psychology, but she seemed human-like enough in her ways that he felt it was reasonable to assume his conclusion was valid. _If __it walks like a duck, quack__s like a duck and looks like a duck..._The quarian was now near the top of his list, a spectacular move upward. That she had something for Shepard seemed pretty certain, but he was not sure how much Shepard was reciprocating. He would need to gather more information.

The idea that a human could have something for a quarian was a little bit disturbing to Jeff. Again, this conjured images in his mind that came directly from the few porn subsections he usually tried to avoid... But these thoughts were quickly chased away by another piece of information the quarian had given him before storming out of the gym: a navigator had asked her the same question on the previous day. It had to be Xiang, and this meant that the Junior Navigator was also hunting for information to improve his odds. His gaze went over the numbers displayed on the bike's control panel but, preoccupied as he was, the fact that only ninety-seven seconds remained to his cardiovascular training session barely registered. _Xiang's going to be a tough nut to crack, but boy will I be happy to see the disappointed look on his face when it's over…_ With Tali's revelation, the rivalry between Xiang and him seemed to have cranked up another notch. Fortunately, he had a few aces up his sleeve, like a privileged access to most of the ship's systems, including the security cameras… While he would have to sacrifice part of his free time to do so, reviewing the security feeds to follow Shepard around the ship – especially when he was doing his rounds – would certainly give him the edge he needed. _I have to win this bet._

* * *

**Author's Notes**

The gym: I always wondered how people stay in shape in ME. I suppose it would make sense for all military personnel on the Normandy to stay fit; this could be done almost anywhere and with minimal equipment. For example, people could run up and down the stairs, do push-ups between the sleeping pods, etc… But the presence of a gym with some minimal equipment would make sense also. Where would the gym be on the Normandy: it could be an informal arrangement of exercise machines in a corner of the cargo bay, or be part of the formal layout of the ship with its own special room, which could be located near the showers. The machines would of course be designed for humans and could include an exercise bike, a treadmill, maybe an elliptical machine, a couple of weight machines (those complex torture-device-like arrangements of cable, pulleys and weights that can be configured in different ways, often including a bench press) and maybe a punching bag. Top of the line equipment would include mass effect technology (hence the title 'Pumping Eezo' for this chapter instead of 'Pumping Iron') so as to allow precise adjustment of the weights and also prevent accidents: any equipment dropped would become weightless (this safety feature could also be voice activated , I suppose). No need for a spotter anymore at the bench press! Considering the size of the crew on the Normandy, and with two or three shifts, there wouldn't be a lineup for the machines (maybe one to two persons at the same time in the gym at most). There could be a rink for hand to hand combat training, but this would take up more space and would likely have to be done in the cargo bay.

Tali's suit: As discussed in the author's note at the end of chapter 8, my take on quarian suits is that they are sophisticated multilayered segmental things that could be produced by advanced 3D printing (or maybe some even more advanced processes) and would be big on nanotechnology, with auto-repair functions, etc… (the idea of a and passive fabric or rubber suit with a zipper seems a bit oversimplified – the zipper was a revolutionary invention in the 19th century, but seems woefully inadequate for a space-age envirosuit, although a kind of zipper with molecular-sized teeth could maybe do the trick). What I mean is that I see the quarian envirosuit as an active barrier rather than a passive one. Sensations like touch could be transmitted through the suit's thickness by small and strategically positioned piezoelectric elements. In addition to these, it would make sense to add a series of electrodes positioned strategically all over the body, with different possible uses (including the well-known nerve stimulation program we learned about in ME2). These electrodes could supplement the sensory functions of the suit and have medical uses both for monitoring and for treatment (think electro-cardiogram, electro-encephalogram, defibrillator, etc). This system of electrodes could also be used in a sophisticated way to keep the body in shape through muscle stimulation, like the TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) technology that currently exists (check it out on Wikipedia).

Joker: He was raised on Arcturus station, where his mother was a civilian contractor working for the Alliance. We learn in ME3 that he has a sister (Hilary) and a father living on Tiptree, a human colony (I don't know what happened to his mother: was she still on Arcturus station was it was taken out?). Despite his medical condition (Vrolik syndrome), he enlisted and went to the academy, where he became the best of the best (even better than his instructors). That says something about a central feature of his character: he does not accept being limited by his frail condition. In this way, Joker is perfectly suited to be part of Shepard's entourage, as one theme of the mass effect trilogy is the struggle against insurmountable odds. Deep down, Joker is a serious man, and we learn in ME1 that his nickname comes from the fact he was not smiling at all when at the academy, where he was working his ass off. To me, his humor - probably the most cynical/sarcastic of all on the Normandy - and his joviality feel a little artificial (even more so now that I've seen the small cut scene near the end of ME3, where Joker tries to cheer up a dark and brooding Shepard).

What is Vrolik syndrome? It's a real disease. The current medical term is 'osteogenesis imperfecta' and it has several other aliases, including 'brittle bone disease.' Although its main manifestation is bone brittleness, the disease is in fact a group of genetic abnormalities that results in the formation of abnormal collagen (which is a family of structural extracellular proteins throughout the whole body – not just bone). There are several distinct forms of the disease (currently, at least eight different types are known, numbered I to VIII depending on the mutation) with consequences ranging from mild to severe. Apart from bone brittleness, the skeleton may show other abnormalities including bone deformity, abnormal spine curvature and short stature. Since it is the collagen that is abnormal, the disease may also manifest outside of the skeleton: deafness, abnormal sclera (the white part of the eyes), easy bruising (due to fragility of blood vessel walls), respiratory problems due to abnormal lung development, etc.

Early in ME1, Joker explains that he has a severe case of Vrolik syndrome and is alive only due to modern medicine. He obviously has a limp and walks with difficulty (we see him walking in ME2 and ME3, but not in ME1). He seems a little short in stature, but otherwise appears normal. His handicap has to be a huge thing in his life, even if he may not think about it so much on a conscious level every second of the day. Imagine having to consider carefully (having to plan for) everything you do as you move around, knowing that something as simple as tripping over an object as you walk to the bathroom can actually send you to the medbay with one (or more) fracture(s). As he walks around, he probably needs to make sure other people are aware of his presence at all time, in order to avoid accidents; just being nudged by a crewmate could have dire consequences for him. That could be one reason why he appears so vocal (the guy never shuts up!): this makes others aware of his presence nearby. The only place that is (relatively) safe for him on the Normandy is his pilot's seat.

Are there other limitations to Joker's mobility? You bet there would be. This guy is so fragile that he probably cannot go in public places without being accompanied by someone (a 'personal mobility assistant' - Joker uses that pretext in ME3 to have EDI accompany him on the Citadel). This is probably not to help Joker move as much as for security reasons. Just imagine how it probably was when growing up, having someone with him at all time mainly to protect him against other kids while at school and while moving around on Arcturus Station. He probably always had to have someone looking over for him at the academy also. In the military, one would expect everybody coming close to Joker to be warned of his condition; this could be done easily through omnitool, with everyone coming within a few meters of the pilot receiving an automatic and urgent message, warning them of this guy's condition and to exercise caution. Needless to say, it is a little surprising that Shepard (who is the Normandy's XO until he becomes Spectre) would be unaware of Joker's disease at the start of the game in ME1.

Other consideration: Joker probably has to train regularly to maintain proper muscle tone, which I'm sure would make it safer for his skeleton also. He probably cannot do much weight lifting and would be limited mostly to cardiovascular stuff with low impact, like a stationary bike. Swimming would probably be the best sport for him, but that would be hard to come by on ships and space stations.

Is it realistic for somebody with such a severe and physically limiting disease to be allowed into service for the Alliance? Most certainly not. Just take a look at the physical requirements to be accepted in the US army (easy to find with google), which I assume to be fairly typical. Sorry for all of you politically correct equal opportunity defenders, but it's complete and utter nonsense for such a handicapped person to be allowed in such a critical position on the Normandy. This guy can't even run to the nearest escape pod in a timely fashion in case of emergency, let alone go through any basic training program from any branch of the military that I can think of.

The only way I can explain Joker's presence at the helm of the Normandy – and even then, it doesn't look that realistic - would be to consider that the Alliance is even more politically correct than most institutions are nowadays, accepting 'special' cases under certain circumstances. One could imagine that, through a combination of luck, stubbornness, hard work and talent (and helped by a mother that probably raised hell for him to be accepted in the academy despite his handicap), his talent for piloting would have granted him a few chances that nobody else could have had. Even then, he probably was supposed to pilot ships only in relatively safe situations (with very low chance of being exposed to combat), like shipping, driving high officials to special non-combat events or similarly boring missions. My take is that circumstances have allowed him – because of his talent as a pilot – to be assigned to the Normandy before things got haywire (before Eden Prime). At the time, flying a new and experimental ship still seemed like a rather safe assignment. After that however, I would suppose that Alliance brass would have tried to put another pilot on the Normandy instead of Joker. It is my idea that Anderson and Shepard would have managed to prevent that through political/administrative maneuverings, arguing that the pilot's talent was an asset for this high risk mission. For Joker, this would be a totally exciting new development and an opportunity to demonstrate all of his incredible abilities. He would of course be totally grateful to both Anderson and Shepard for this, and this would form the basis of his loyalty to Shepard.

Joker's character: quick witted, probably very intelligent in a somewhat nerdy kind of way. He probably can multitask easily. We know relatively few other personal things about him aside from the fact that he watches porn. From my reading of other stories, he is widely perceived as an organizer of gambling, probably likes playing games likes Galaxy of Fantasy. To that, I would add that he probably likes to cheat (this being 'part of the game' – he would say, and an opportunity to demonstrate how smart he is) and I would not be surprised if he had some hacking abilities.

Joker and women. He probably never got laid or even had a real girlfriend… I can imagine a difficult psychological dynamic developing in such a situation: Jeff would probably be very much afraid of being pitied and would react negatively as soon as he would have the impression this is happening. As a result, I doubt any serious relationship could happen for him. He might be sexually frustrated (?lecherous). In a way, a relationship with EDI (in ME2 and ME3) is the best thing that could have happened to him: EDI is not human and the pitying issue does not really enter the equation.

Finally, a small comment on how unrealistic it is to have only one pilot on the Normandy. Other crewmembers might be able to pilot the ship (after all, Kaidan is seen in the copilot seat early in ME1, before Eden Prime - when Nihlus is still aboard), but there really seems to be only one pilot. There has to be shifts on the Normandy, and it makes no sense for a single pilot to be expected to perform efficiently 24 hours per day. Of course, having to deal with a team of pilots would have resulted in a somewhat different atmosphere on the Normandy and, in the end, the idea of a single (and crippled) pilot – while completely unrealistic - is one of those things everybody (me included, despite my bitching about it) is ready to forgive and forget for the sake of a good story.


	11. A Picture of You

**Note pertaining to this chapter**

Background/setting: Immediately after the mission on Luna, where a 'rogue VI' in control of an Alliance training facility was taken down, Shepard's presence has been requested at a private meeting with representatives of the Alliance on a space station in geostationary orbit around Earth. Of course, the Alliance propaganda machine is not going to let Shepard's passage in the Sol system go to waste.

This chapter is in Tali's POV. It's long and rather linear (no big stylistic surprise).

Some speculations on human history as seen from 2183, on Shepard & the media, and on quarian culture in another helping of my hefty author's notes at the end (it's completely optional ;-).

My thanks to Vocarin for beta-reading this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 11: A Picture of You.**

It had been a good idea to follow Ashley and Liara on the tour, Tali thought. Indeed, being shown around another human space station had been most effective in taking her mind off the fight on Luna earlier in the day, and off her many other preoccupations.

Although it had a similar basic shape as that of Arcturus Station, where she had been a couple of weeks before, there were some major differences. For one, it was much smaller. Also, the organization of its interior was much less elegant, with narrow and cramped hallways. In addition to that, the corridors had been surprisingly crowded in a few places, almost like on a quarian ship.

Their guide, a dark skinned human male wearing the standard Alliance uniform, had explained that this ring-shaped 'Gandhi-Series' space station was one of the first that had been built in geostationary orbit after some devastating inter-human wars more than a century ago. Apparently, it had been part of a multinational effort to peacefully explore the local planetary system, way before humans had stumbled upon the mass effect technology left behind by the protheans.

It was an old construct by human standards, and it showed. Despite the refurbished floor and wall coverings, her expert eyes had easily spotted signs of repairs and other hints of wear and tear. She had even seen a few patches of rust - a sure sign of low quality iron alloy subjected to humidity, probably due to local condensation of the air's moisture, itself an indication of deficient environment control.

In some places, the ceiling of the main hallway was quite low, and it was easy to see its upward curvature as they progressed along the circumference of the station, passing doors and corridors branching at right angle. It was not an original design, but the ring shape was a cheap way to generate an effective artificial gravity as it rotated slowly, exactly like the spherical part of her birthship. The alternative would have required a lot of eezo, and humans didn't even know about it when this station had been built.

Along the way, Tali also paid attention to the humans they came across. A few wore the military uniform, but most were civilians. As on Arcturus Station, there were many body types and skin hues nobody on the Normandy had. The difference with Arcturus however was the way most of them reacted when they saw her and Liara; they stopped whatever they were doing and stared. Ashley had explained that most had never gone further away from Earth than this station and that they probably never had seen non-humans in person. Tali tried to ignore the stares.

They had now reached what was supposed to be the highlight of the tour: an observation room dominated by a large viewport which occupied more than half the surface of the external wall, showing the planet down below. It was a nice-looking planet, but nothing extraordinary. Tali had seen Earth when they were on Luna, but the space station was much closer to it and it was easier for her to appreciate the details of its surface. It was mostly blue and white because of the large bodies of water and the clouds, but a few brownish land masses could be seen here and there.

Ashley was more excited and pointed a finger at the planet. "Hey, that looks like the tip of India! ...But it's upside down!"

Entranced at the sight of the thin crescent of night, which was growing very slowly on the upper left edge of the planet, Tali was only half listening to the guide's explanations about the station being above a nation called Indonesia, and about its constant rotation making it difficult to recognize usual landmarks. The guide then went on and started to point at salient features of the planet's surface, using the enhanced reality overlay of the viewport to provide markers, enlarged images and other data.

After a minute or two of contemplation, Tali listened more closely as the man was showing a faint and somewhat irregular line visible in an enhanced picture, supposedly representing a great stone wall built approximately two thousand years ago by some long gone empire to defend against hordes of barbarians. Looking at the line, and as Ashley and Liara were quietly discussing some details with the guide, she wondered about her own homeworld and how much of her own people's buildings remained. After all, it had been only three hundred years since they had abandoned it to the geth. _Is there anything to be seen from orbit? Could anybody guess that quarians ever inhabited Rannoch?_

Tali tried to shrug her negative thoughts aside, listening for a while as the young man went on with his presentation. He was now showing enhanced pictures of a few funnily shaped artificial islands in the middle of a large expanse of water, the results of some social and commercial experiments in the last century, when humans were still confined to their solar system.

But she could not stem the tide of her thoughts. All the stresses she had gone through since the start of her pilgrimage - including the constant fighting, almost always at the limit of her endurance like in the lunar base just a few hours ago - had started to take their toll on her. Lately, even if her homesickness and her sleep problems were getting better, she had been feeling more jittery than ever and easily troubled by all kinds of new thoughts, doubts and emotions. All quarians preparing for their pilgrimage had been warned against such a phase in their ordeal, but she had never thought it would be this bad. She knew that, as pilgrimages went, hers was completely non-standard, but even then… She had always thought herself more solid than that. Many conceptions that she had taken as fact before leaving her home, now seemed no better than opinions…

Even her people's fear and hate of the geth had been up for questioning. Shepard's view on the matter had shaken her a bit but, on that specific issue, she remained utterly convinced that her people's perspective was the right one. She could not fault him for his lack of understanding, however. How could she expect anyone on the Normandy, even Shepard, to comprehend that the geth were pure, irredeemable abominations. His species never had to endure the fate hers had. Shepard was a human, after all.

Tali glanced at their guide and Ashley. Humans were like quarians in many ways… and she shuddered at the thought of them making the same mistakes her people had, centuries ago. What she had encountered in the base on Luna was terrifyingly ominous in that respect. The way the 'rogue VI' had adapted to some of her best electronic warfare routines had been much too fast, almost as cunning as a sentient being, forcing her to change her approach at almost every hacking attempt. Fortunately, Shepard had brought Wrex and Ashley to the battle, and her shotgun had been as effective as ever in addition to her teammates' firepower. There was no way for her to prove it, but she was convinced the VI was in fact an AI, or just about to become one.

And now, looking again through the viewport a the homeworld of the humans - a young species full of wonder and confidence as it had just recently begun to reach for the stars - she thought of her own people's history. _The ancestors too had been full of wonder and confidence… Then, they made the geth and now we're on the brink of extinction… _Would the humans suffer the same fate? She looked on, but Earth just stood there, offering no answer while the crescent of night slowly ate at it. Shaking off her dark thoughts, Tali turned from the viewport and listened to her two shipmates' conversation.

"…yeah, 'unfortunate' is the understatement of the century. So many lives wasted. I think the only positive thing to come from those wars is that nobody's fighting for the holy land anymore – there's just too much radiation. Kinda sucks though... Would've been nice to be able to visit the place where Jesus was born and lived, without dying of cancer in the following months." Ashley sighed. "But we moved on. We're trying to tone it down a little… So what if some people can't accept the one true faith!"

Ashley had winked at Liara as she uttered the last part, and Tali understood that her rather outrageous statement was not to be taken seriously - it was one of those human facial expressions she had had to learn very quickly in engineering. However, judging by the grimace that went over their guide's face, she understood that the joke had not been in good taste.

"I sure hope so…" Liara shook her head a little. "…more religious wars would be just the kind of thing to make the other Citadel species even more wary of humans."

Obviously disappointed at her joke being ignored, Ashley shrugged and nodded grimly. "Yeah… agreed."

Silence filled the room as each was alone with his or her private thoughts for a while. From their many discussions, Tali knew that it was best not say anything when Ashley started to talk about her rather peculiar religious beliefs – that would just encourage her to talk more about them and she would get that strange look in her eyes… The attraction of a faith like hers was understandable, and many quarians were doing something similar when they appealed to the ancestors. But Tali was of the opinion that, whatever supernatural power there was - if any - it wasn't interested in people's affairs. The universe was a cold and uncaring place - she agreed with her father on that point. One had to be courageous, steadfast and then, when everything that was possible had been done, one could only hope for the best. Hope was all that there was.

The silence was broken by the guide. "There is much more to see! Would you ladies be interested in observing the remains of the old Himalayan geoengineering complex? It's quite spectacular and I think the cloud cover is currently very light over that region… We could also look at some mountain glaciers, the whales that are feeding in the Northern Oceanian preservation zone-"

Ashley cut him off as she glanced at her two companions. "What do you think, girls? Personally, I think I've had enough." Looking back at the guide, she added, "No offense, corporal, but we can watch all of this on the 'net' later."

Liara approved, "Yes, I think we should go. Shepard could be done with his meeting anytime by now… I'd hate to be the cause of any additional delays."

Tali didn't feel like staying longer and simply nodded when Ashley looked at her. The gunnery chief turned to their guide. "Corporal, we're done here. Please lead us to the chow hall. "

The young man snapped to attention, crisply saluting Ashley. "Yes Ma'am!"

The three followed him out of the room and in direction of the station's main cafeteria. The crew of the Normandy had been told to wait there for their commander to come out of a meeting with representatives of the Alliance government, and then they were all supposed to be part of some enigmatic media event.

They had no clear idea of what the event would be, and everybody on the Normandy had been speculating about it. They had all been told to wear their formal uniform. Having only her suit, Tali had done the best thing she could under the circumstance – hop into the shower again, right upon returning from Luna. Personally, she could not care less how she looked on some news vid broadcasted around the galaxy, but she wanted to be at her best for her shipmates.

While they made their way toward their final destination, Tali ignored the conversation between her companions and the guide, preferring to look around. As on their first leg of the tour, most humans they met were just staring at them. They obviously were just curious, but Tali realized now that some gazes tended to follow Liara a little bit more. This had probably been going on earlier too, but she just had not noticed. Even on the Normandy, she had seen some humans looking with admiration at Liara as she passed by. She was not sure she could recognize lust in a human gaze, but she wondered if that was not part of what was going on.

She watched Liara walking in front of her, seemingly unaware or uncaring of the looks that were directed her way. She sighed. Asari were the very definition of beauty… And they were all over the extranet, in movies, in music vids, in ads… in practically all nooks and crannies of the main media outlets.

Her father had a habit of ranting against asari influences at every opportunity. She shared his opinion, as most self-conscious quarians did, but she was not sure there was much to do about it. Ranting, however, was certainly not going to change a thing. The way she saw it, it was a question of sheer numbers: people and resources. Quarians were only seventeen million, and could not provide enough cultural output to compete against all the vids, music, literature and other fashionable products or ideas brought back by pilgrims or picked up from the extranet every time the Flotilla came close enough to a comm buoy. It was a losing battle. Despite all the efforts deployed by the elders to steel the mind of younger quarians against outside influences, it all came unraveled when they had to go on their pilgrimage. Even something as basic as courtship was now completely contaminated by asari ideas… According to her father, it was now so bad that close to half of the pilgrims left their birthship with a fully functional nerve stimulation program, hoping to score with somebody, preferably an asari.

She snorted. Even herself, the very daughter of the great admiral Rael'Zorah, was of the opinion that all asari were beautiful, and felt diminished by not being one… She was envious of them all... At the same time, she was irritated and disappointed in herself for feeling that way.

But she was not particularly attracted by them; they looked too much like women, even though she knew they were not really women in the usual sense. Glancing at Ashley, she shook her head. With the exception of the hair/tentacle difference and the skin color, human women and asari were almost identical. Tali knew what she was attracted to, and it was… broader shoulders, a trapezoid upper body, a thicker build… Images of Shepard in the training room two days before flashed briefly in her mind, but she quashed them at once, irritated.

These were ridiculous feelings and despite her efforts, she just could not get rid of them. There was a long list of reasons why they were absurd but, apparently, reason had no grip on feelings. In fact, the more she struggled, the more they seemed to take root. It was not Shepard's fault, but he seemed to have pushed all the right buttons. She had not told Dr. Chakwas, but she did 'get it.' After all, quarians did have the 'finding one's Captain' trope, which was not too far, culturally, from the 'damsel in distress' that humans had. It was a childish narrative circulating on the Migrant Fleet's intranet, mainly among pre-pilgrims, and it was also the source of countless cheesy jokes among adults. But in a way, it was a true quarian cultural icon… And Shepard, through his attitude and his actions, and even though he was not a quarian, fitted almost perfectly with the naïve storyline. After all, he had welcomed her on his ship like a true quarian captain would have, and they were on an important and life-threatening mission. Just like in the stories.

She glanced at the two women who were conversing as they walked in front of her. She sighed again. Maybe her stupid feelings would disappear if Shepard was committed with someone… That would make him even more inaccessible. Surely that would make things simpler… After all, Liara and Ashley had been rivals for his attention for a while now, and that was one of the main topic of conversation in engineering. _Keelah, even the pilot asked for my opinion on the matter…_

She looked at the blue alien's back, just a meter in front of her and to the left. Going for an asari would be the fashionable thing to do for Shepard… but she felt uneasy about it. Her understanding was that asari thought so highly of themselves that people from other species – 'lesser species' as she had heard an asari say – would likely be considered as pets or toys… _That would be an insult for someone like Shepard._ But Tali didn't believe Liara was like that. She was a bit aloof, and her coolness right after her mother had died had been... unexpected, but Tali had seen her generosity and compassion in several other instances, like with the colonists on Feros.

She shifted her gaze to the other back, more on the right. Going for his own species would be more natural… Ashley had a good heart, but she was so blunt, rigid and argumentative… She grimaced at the thought of Shepard, so considerate and open minded, having to contend with someone like her…

_What am I doing…_ She felt nothing but disgust at herself as she realized that she had been trying to find faults with the two women. _Ugh!... I can't believe this. I'm so pathetic._ Looking up ahead, she recognized what had to be the entrance to the cafeteria and felt relieved at the sight. With more people around, maybe it would be easier to keep her mind busy with more constructive and realistic thoughts.

* * *

Having thanked their guide, Tali and her two companions managed to get through the people massed in front of the cafeteria's entrance, likely attracted by the presence of the first human Spectre and the coming media event. Once they were in, they quickly spotted the tables at the other end of the room where their crewmates were seated.

The stares in the corridors had been easy to deal with, but it was now positively intimidating for Tali to cross such a big room, filled with hundreds of humans, many of which were gazing at her. Fortunately, she was not alone and found comfort in the presence of Liara and Ashley.

As they came closer, Pressly got up from a table where other bridge officers were sitting and beckoned to them. He indicated another table where Kaidan, Wrex and Garrus were already seated. "Ground team, you're together at that table. There's a review on tonight's program, so I'm keeping every section together."

They nodded at the XO, Ashley adding a formal "Understood," and quietly went to their assigned places. Along the way, they passed the engineering team and Tali exchanged salutations with them. Chief Adams discreetly waved back at her, smiling briefly. _I suppose I could have been at that table too. But maybe they prefer to keep all the non-humans together…_ Ever suspicious, Tali wondered if the reason she was being kept away from the other engineers was to avoid controversy… After all, some of the ship's technologies were supposed to be well-kept secrets.

She sat between Wrex and Kaidan, and all her speculations evaporated when she noticed that people were actually eating. Kaidan had a half-empty plate in front of him, and several empty ones were piled in front of Wrex, who glanced back at her and belched an informal greeting. Her crewmates at other tables were also eating, and she saw a few coming back from a series of counters on the far left side of the room, where the food was being handed out.

Kaidan leaned toward her and handed her one of her tubes of nutrient paste. "When we learned this was turning out to be a 'dinner and a show' kind of situation, Pressly sent someone to fetch food for Garrus and you."

Tali thanked him and glanced at Garrus, who was already finished, his turian ration pack lying empty and torn on a plate in front of him.

Ashley sighed noisily. "Change of plans, what a surprise!... But hey!" She smirked. "…I won't complain if there's a free lunch!" She looked at Liara. "Might as well hurry and get something to eat right now, before the psyop people show up and we can't eat anymore."

Liara acquiesced, saying that she was hungry too. Both women got up and moved toward the counters.

While Tali was hooking the tube to her helmet, she wondered who were the 'psyop people' Ashley had talked about… They seemed sinister. As she started eating her bland fare, she noticed that Kaidan and Wrex's food looked different from what was available on the Normandy. Also, beside Kaidan's plate were two rounded things that she had never seen before. She assumed these were fruits - such things were very rare on the Flotilla as their production was too resource-intensive.

Kaidan noticed Tali's glance and explained. "They have it easy on a station like this, so close to Earth. Fresh fruits and vegetables, fresh meat, eggs…" He pointed at the fruits. "It's been a while since I had any fresh plums and oranges."

Wrex grunted as he swallowed his last bite, looking at the fruits. "The plums are alright, but the oranges are sour…"

Kaidan laughed. "You have to peel them first…"

Wrex just shrugged as he got up. "Harumph… I need more food."

Watching the krogan trudge away toward the counters, under the gaze of hundreds of Alliance personnel also in the process of eating or just standing along the wall near the entrance, Garrus chuckled. "I bet half of them are here just to see the krogan eat."

Tali however was wondering what was going to happen next. All she had been told was that there would be a media event and she wanted to know more. Turning to Kaidan, she asked, "So, what's next… Where's Shepard?"

Kaidan shrugged. "Still with the Alliance brass, of course… Wouldn't be surprised if they were actually having dinner with their pet Spectre. After that, I suppose the brass will show up here, make a short speech, shoot a few vids and pictures… That sort of thing. Might be a few hours before we're done."

Garrus asked "I don't get it. As a Spectre, Shepard's practically his own boss… why does he waste his time for the Alliance like that."

Kaidan grabbed the orange fruit. "Hmm… In a nutshell, I'd say it's the price he has to pay for the Normandy and its crew." As he started to tear large chunks of thick but soft-looking peel from the fruit, he continued, "But if I know Shepard, I think he truly wants this too… He knows the Alliance will use this to improve things between humanity and the Citadel species. It's all about building bridges."

Both Garrus and her nodded in understanding. Tali could find no flaw in Kaidan's explanations; she knew that Shepard was very thoughtful, and it made complete sense to cooperate as much as possible with one's allies. However, what Ashley had said a minute ago had sounded ominous and she had to ask. "Ashley talked about 'psyop people' coming..."

Kaidan chuckled as he divided his fruit into smaller wedge-shaped pieces. "She was talking about the APRS, the Alliance Public Relations Services. They're in charge of media releases… and you can be sure they'll want to extract every gram of value out of Shepard's passage in Earth's orbit." Quickly, he ate a couple of pieces of his fruit as he scanned the cafeteria, indicating the crowd of humans that were seated in the room. "There's a lot of poverty on Earth, and many are envious of the privileged few that can travel abroad. The personnel on this station includes a lot of civilian contractors, and many are from… well, less privileged backgrounds. That's why they had us come here, on this old station instead of a more classy place like Arcturus… They probably want us to be seen among more 'popular' crowds, to appeal to the masses on Earth. At the same time, they probably want an easy, sympathetic and well-controlled crowd, and that's why we're here rather than on Earth's surface."

Garrus scanned the crowd, noticing that several humans were looking back at him. Most were smiling. "I agree, they look quite sympathetic." Bringing his attention back to Kaidan, the turian commented, "To be honest however, I never paid much attention to human politics. It looks rather… twisted."

Kaidan chuckled again. "Yeah… You have no idea. The short version is that the Alliance, through the APRS, has a two front war on its hands. On the domestic front, it has to fight xenophobic human-centric tendencies, like the Terra-Firma party, and show that humans are welcomed by the rest of the galaxy. On the galactic front, it has to fight against other species' suspicions and demonstrate that humans can work hand in hand with everyone else…" He smiled as he concluded, "…and that's where Liara, Wrex, and you two come in."

Garrus chuckled. "Ha! My father will have a seizure when he learns that his son has become a pawn in a human public relations campaign."

Tali too wondered what her father would think… _He'd probably say something about wasting my time…_ In any case, she was sure he would not approve. Her auntie Shala was usually supportive, but he never was. Whatever she came up with. _But he'd be wrong._ Quarians were not used to deal with the media and had no public relations services, but maybe she could do something about that, however small it was. In a way, she was going to piggyback on the event - a quarian publicly shown to be on Shepard's team could only be a good thing for her species. Ancestors knew how much her people needed to improve their public image.

Her line of thought was broken by Ashley and Liara's return, each happily carrying a tray filled with food. Wrex soon followed, his own tray filled to the brim, and everybody started talking about food again.

* * *

They had been at the table for close to an hour and, even if Tali was enjoying the company of her teammates, the distraction was not enough to prevent her anxiety from building up. Busying her hands with her empty food tube was not helping either. It had been folded in so many ways and so many times, that she was surprised at it still holding together. She just kept wondering what was going to happen next. Suddenly, as she looked on, there was a change in the cafeteria; people started to get up all around and the noise of the crowd increased noticeably. As if on cue, Pressly came over, saying, "It starts in fifteen minutes… Clean your table and help with the tidying up."

Tali threw her empty tube among the rest of the trash on Wrex's tray, which Kaidan promptly put on top of all the others before leaving in direction of the counters to dispose of them. The counters, to her surprise, were slowly being retracted through an opening in the nearby wall, revealing another room on the other side. Everybody was moving around and, despite the appearance of chaos, she realized tables were being stacked and moved also in the other room. Wanting to contribute to the collective effort, Tali took upon herself to help with the chairs. All in all, it took barely ten minutes for the room to be completely transformed.

While this had been going on, a team of humans dressed in pale grey suits had unrolled a red carpet near the entrance to the room, and they were now busy installing some kind of podium on it. A few others, similarly dressed and accompanied by a couple of camera drones, were arranging portable lights directed toward the podium. Some others were trying to guide the crowd of soldiers and civilians away from the carpeted area. One of the people with the pale suit – Tali guessed she was the leader of that group – came forward and was met by Pressly. They exchanged salutes, then had a short conversation, Pressly indicating the crew of the Normandy behind him.

Ashley was watching this and frowned. "There they are… the psyop people." Glancing at her, she added, "Wonder how they'll manage to hide the fact that there's a Williams in Shepard's crew…"

Ashley had told her about her family's bad reputation among the Alliance, and Tali understood all too well what she meant. After all, one's reputation was among the most precious thing any quarian had on the Migrant Fleet. Fortunately for Ashley, she thought, and despite the obvious injustice in being punished for something that a grandfather had done, humans had other options… _Quarians only had the Flotilla._

Kaidan, who had returned from his waste-disposal trip, heard what Ashley had said and shook his head. "I understand your worries, Chief, but they probably just won't say anything about you. They may list your name among the crew, but nothing more. And it's the same with me, I don't expect them to list me as a biotic… They'll just want to avoid ruffling any feathers."

There was a commotion near the entrance, and someone shouted the human military call that she had heard several times now; "Attention." The people near the entrance quickly formed some kind of ranks, the uniformed humans making their formal salute and standing to attention, while the others – the civilians - just stood straight. This reaction spread like a wave throughout the crowd, with everybody straightening up and doing the same. Tali looked at her shipmates and noticed that they were standing apart from the rest of the crowd, in a neat formation. Along with Liara, Garrus and Wrex, she followed Ashley's directives, standing straight and still in the location she was indicated. Tali never had had to bother too much with Alliance military formalities up to now, but she didn't want to disrupt her shipmates' arrangement.

Soon enough, a group of officials came in through the doorway. By the way they walked, it was clear to Tali that these were important humans. Some were dressed in expensive-looking suits, and a few others were dressed in military uniform, with multiple ranking symbols on their shoulders and on the front of their chest. Her eyes quickly locked on Shepard, who was in the middle of the group. He looked good in his 'dress blues' as people aboard the Normandy had called the formal uniform. He also seemed calm, and this had a soothing effect on her nerves.

The group came to stand behind the small podium, and one of the officers readily stepped on it. She was rather short, but had big arms and a thick, barrel-shaped torso. She also seemed quite stiff in Tali's opinion. Looking at the color of her hair and at the wrinkles on her face, she realized the woman had to be quite old.

The silence was almost complete in the room and everybody seemed to be holding their breath. The public relations personnel were quickly doing a few last minute adjustments to their equipment and, finally, the woman that had talked with Pressly earlier on made a 'thumbs up' signal to the officer on the podium, who nodded back at her.

Scanning the crowd with what Tali interpreted as a stern gaze, the officer on the podium said, "At ease." Her voice was strong and clear, and the effect of her two words was immediate; everyone in the crowd seemed to relax and the military personnel, including all the Normandy's human crew, let go of their stiff salute.

Tali leaned a bit toward Kaidan and whispered, "Who's that?"

Barely moving, the lieutenant whispered back "Fleet Admiral Thorgenson… She's also the Systems Alliance's minister of defense…"

Impressed by the importance of the woman on the podium, Tali decided to pay closer attention as the admiral launched into a speech. She barely noticed the cameras filming the scene.

Admiral Thorgensen started by giving a summary of recent human history, then went on with how humanity was finally getting accepted by the rest of the galaxy and how this was symbolized by Shepard being named a Spectre. Turning briefly, she signaled Shepard to come forward and to her side on the podium. She shook his hand, saying that humans could be proud, now that the best of them was a Spectre. As the crowd erupted into applause, Tali watched Shepard and smiled; this was a great honor for him. The admiral then stepped back, offering her place to Shepard.

"I'll be brief and to the point," he announced over the dwindling applause. His voice was as commanding as the admiral's had been and, to Tali, Shepard looked completely self-confident. He scanned the crowd for a few seconds, waiting for the hand-clapping to cease completely. "The Systems Alliance has all my gratitude for lending me its finest ship and, I believe, its finest crew. These men and women are all dedicated, know the risks of my mission, and it's an honor to be working with such superb professionals." He smiled briefly and nodded at his crew. Tali glanced at her human shipmates and noticed how they smiled back, responding to the praise.

"I'm sure some of you have noticed a few non-humans among my crew..." Shepard paused briefly for effect. A few snickers were heard among the crowd, and many also craned their neck to look at her and her teammates. As Garrus had remarked earlier, most were smiling and seemed rather sympathetic. "...Each one of them has decided to support my mission on a purely voluntary basis. They too are dedicated and professional, and they have fully earned my trust." Those words made Tali feel taller, and she straightened a bit.

After a short pause, Shepard went on a new track. "Spectre duty is the real deal. It's a tough job and the hours can be horrible..." He smiled slightly, and the crowd responded with murmurs and a few snickers. Ever since meeting him, Tali knew that Shepard had a gift with words. Still, she was impressed at how he managed to work a crowd.

However, Shepard became more serious as he continued, "...But the toughest part of the job is not the danger. It's the hard choices Spectres are asked to make. Yes, I'm talking about life and death situations." The crowd was now completely silent, understanding the gravity of what the man in front of them was saying. "And sometimes, circumstances may be such that there are no good choices... only bad and worse. But even then, Spectres still have to make the call." Shepard was silent for a little while, letting the crowd digest what he had just said.

Then, he started on a new track again. "Now, as most of you know, Spectres respond to the Citadel Council. As such, their duties are to the greater good of the galaxy at large, and to all its citizens. Whatever the species." He scanned the crowd, frowning a little. "So, if some of you still think that a human Spectre is a shield or a sword that humanity can wield against other interests in the galaxy... well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble." Still frowning in apparent disapproval, he shook his head slightly for effect.

Looking at the crowd, who was reacting ambivalently to his last comment, Shepard continued,"Believe me... it may be tough at times to balance my duties with my sympathies for human issues. However..." Shepard glanced briefly at the fleet admiral. "...I'm fortunate to have the support of people who understand fully what is at stake." The admiral didn't flinch, but Tali had the impression a few of the officials behind the podium were squirming a little. Obviously, Shepard had had some disagreements with them in his earlier meeting and had thrown a pointed barb at them. She approved wholeheartedly. _Nobody should even think of influencing him._

Again, the crowd had reacted ambivalently to his comment. When the snickers and mutterings finally died down, Shepard spoke again. "The galaxy is a big place. There are tons of opportunities, but also challenges and dangers. There is a lot of good out there, but some bad too. Humanity still has to find its proper place in all of that. It's not going to be easy." He paused, scanning the crowd, which was now silent and expectant. "A human Spectre can help, sure. But humanity - and that means each and everyone of you - has to be up for it. Each must reach out to grab the opportunities, each must find the inner strength to deal with the challenges, and each must be unwavering in the face of danger. It's also my hope that each will choose the good over the bad if it comes to that." He paused a few seconds for effect. "In the end, as the first human Spectre, I can only make one promise. And that is to never stop looking for the best interest of all, as fairly as I can. The rest however, is up to you. Thank you."

With that, the crowd erupted in applause again. Tali was impressed. Shepard had said difficult things, but he had been fortright. Also, the last part of his speech had empowered his listeners and, apparently, the crowd had liked that.

Shepard turned and saluted the fleet admiral, then stepped down the podium. The admiral had to wait some time for the applause to die down. When the noise level was low enough, she said, "Wow. I should ask him to write my speeches from now on." This got her a fair amount of laughter. After a short time, when the noise got low enough, she launched into another speech.

Tali quickly lost interest in the rest of the oration – the topic now seemed to be more internal to the Alliance, and she understood little of it. Also, the tone of the speech was almost the same as those her father gave, and that was boring. She had heard too many of them when she had been allowed to tag along with Admiral Zorah on his tours, years ago.

Luckily, the speech did not last long. When the last applause finally died down, the admiral went back to discuss briefly with Shepard and the other officials. Tali knew they would now be coming for the review as such, and Shepard would probably have to present each and every one of them to the admiral and her entourage. She was anxious to get this over with…

Shortly, the fleet admiral and Shepard, accompanied by the other officials and two camera drones, set off from behind the podium and came over to meet the crew. Refraining from nervously jumping up and down on her feet, Tali followed the progression of the presentations, which turned out to be much less formal than she had feared. As the group of officials got closer, she could better see the way Shepard stood, so straight and energetic, and the way he smiled as he presented each member of his crew. He seemed to enjoy the event. This was Shepard's life, she thought. He had been in the military for many years… and through this event, his hard work and sacrifices were being recognized.

At long last, it was the ground team's turn to be presented. For some reason, Admiral Thorgenson first shook hands with Liara, who was presented as the 'resident prothean expert and biotic powerhouse.' _Of course, the admiral had to go for the asari first._ But Tali had no time to dwell on the irritation, as she anxiously prepared for her own turn. Awkwardly, the admiral then shook Wrex's claws and the krogan merely grunted when Shepard labeled him a 'battlemaster.' Then it was Garrus' turn. Shepard described him as a the ground team's 'sharpshooter,' and Tali almost laughed when the turian replied 'Yes, very sharp shooter' as he shook the admiral's hand.

Then it was her turn. The admiral took her offered hand in hers for a firm and solid shake. "Ah…" she said. "…this must be the person who gave us the evidence." Despite her wrinkled face, the admiral had very fierce and intimidating eyes.

Tali managed to blurt a "Yes…"

But Shepard quickly supplemented, "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Technical genius and our acting combat engineer."

The admiral nodded, still looking at her. "Yes… Humanity owes you a lot, miss Zorah."

Tali glanced at Shepard, who smiled back and seemed genuinely proud of her. Befuddled, she lost track of what was going on as the admiral went to shake hands with Kaidan and Ashley.

She was still trying to make sense of what had happened and get control of her nerves… Part of her was mocking her for being so easily upset… She never thought such a simple thing as a little praise could make her almost giddy… _And was Shepard really proud of me?_ Lost in herself, she did not realize what was going on around her until she felt a hand close on her arm and tug at her.

It was Ashley. She seemed concerned. "Tali? You OK?"

Tali tried to come up with a suitable response, and finally managed to say "I... yes. I was just... thinking about something." This was a lame answer, she thought.

Ashley's obvious concern evaporated. "Well, snap out of it then! Time for the family snapshot."

Looking around, Tali quickly realized what Ashley meant and took place between Liara and Kaidan in one of the three ranks that were being formed by her shipmates. She managed to put a lid on her emotional turmoil, calming herself by taking slow and deep breaths as the photo session began.

* * *

Later that night, while keeping watch over her workstation near the drive core, Tali took a short pause to look again at the group picture that had been sent to everyone on the Normandy. It was the one that had been selected for public release. Many pictures had been taken during the photo session, with variations in the crew's arrangement, but always with Shepard right in the middle of the front row. She was glad this was the one that had been chosen; in it, she was among her fellow engineers near the left edge of the middle row, Shepard was sporting his usual confident smirk, and everyone was looking right at the camera. The picture would figure prominently in her pilgrimage report, when she finally got down to it.

She sighed as she turned her omnitool off; the picture would also be a souvenir of her silly happiness when Shepard had presented her to the fleet admiral. She was still trying to understand what had happened. Obviously, in retrospect, his pride could not mean much - he probably was proud of each and everyone under his command. However, it truly drove home the fact that she had no control over her own feelings. _Ugh... Could I get any more pathetic?_ The very idea that she may have found her captain, and that he was human, was just too crazy. _I must be losing it._ Certainly, all of this had to be the result of all the stress and doubts of her pilgrimage.

Her situation seemed inextricable. Leaving the Normandy was out of the question - the mission was too important and she had given her word to Shepard. Also, she had already asked for his help with her pilgrimage gift... Acting on her feelings was simply unthinkable. Talking to anybody about them probably would not help, and she didn't want to run the risk of her problem becoming public knowledge. The only option left was to keep everything under wrap, and hope that her feelings would abate... eventually. _They have to._ In the meantime, she was determined to push herself even more for her shipmates and the mission. _That's the least I can do for my captain._ It was a sad situation, but she could live with sadness.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Human history in Mass Effect, as seen from the year 2183: Very little human history is provided by the game, and there is a very long hiatus between what we know (up to now) and 2069, when the first settlement on Luna is founded. The only things that are said are very imprecise. I remember from Drew Karpyshyn's books that wealth had shifted from the west to the east (?India), that there had been severe environmental damage (including the oceans rising by 2 meters) but that it was on the mend, and that most people were of very mixed racial background (like Anderson).  
Not mentioning any political event on Earth is an easy way to avoid possible controversies, and I have no problem with that. In this chapter however, I did make a few allusions to possible events on Earth (wars, a geoengineering complex in the Himalayas, some multinational efforts to build stuff in orbit, etc) that appear plausible to me. There have been many wars since 1945 and now, and I don't see why there would be less in the next 50 or 100 years (peace is nice, but here's a quote I've seen, attributed to Machiavelli: 'history repeats because the passions of man never change'). Note that for the wars, I'm not pointing any finger, even if I poke a bit at Ashley's character while alluding that her religion was somehow a factor and that there was some nuclear contamination in the near-east (but maybe not only there, and it could be either bombs or 'accident' at one or more nuclear reactors - like Fukushima). Now just to make it clear, I'm not convinced that religion - as such - causes wars (I would be more inclined to say that it may facilitate them under some circumstances...) but it was easier to write it that way. ;)

Shepard and the medias: In this story (paragon Shepard from Mindoir and Hero of Elysium) Shepard was a well-known figure even before he got promoted – very publicly - to "first human Spectre." His very first Spectre mission - taking down Saren - was also given to him very publicly. The Normandy being a state of the art Alliance ship is also known to the public, although the details of its advanced features are much better kept secrets.  
In the game, Shepard has to deal a little with some of the medias through Emily Wong (Future Content Corporation news service), Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani (Westerlund News) and, in ME3, Diana Allers (Alliance News Network). That doesn't seem enough to explain why so many ordinary people are able to recognize him/her with ease when they see him.  
It would not be surprising if he (or his image, at the very least) had been much used– starting when he was still 'only' a N7 operative, especially with the 'hero of Elysium' background - in some propaganda campaign(s) by the Alliance Public Relations Services (APRS) in their perpetual drive to win hearts and minds at home (Earth) as well as abroad (human colonies and Citadel species). Now that Shepard is a Spectre – but still is part of the Alliance military - it would make sense for the APRS to showcase him (as well as his ship and crew) to further their goals.  
That's how I came up with the setting of this chapter: Shepard's passage in Earth's vicinity (to deal with the rogue VI on Luna) would provide the perfect opportunity for the APRS to organize something.

Some considerations on Shepard's character:  
Shepard, whatever his/her background, is a military man/woman through and through. One would suppose that, as part of the N-School training, such a soldier would have been exposed to situation where there is no support of any kind available. Still, practically all the situation he/she may have participated in must have had some degree of oversight, and limits within which he/she has had to operate.  
A Spectre is something different, in the sense that there is practically no oversight, and also very little support. The objective(s) of a Spectre (as given by the Citadel Council) may clear, but everything else is left wide open.  
It would take time for someone as well trained and conditioned to work within well-defined constraints (as Shepard is, no doubt) to suddenly be able to function optimally as a Spectre.  
Being still part of the Alliance would offer some possibilities, as Shepard would have the option of using some of its structures/services (especially for intel) while he builds his own personal network of contacts and allies. Also, I would expect a paragon Shepard (like in this story) to be more willing to keep close ties with the Alliance, while a renegade Shepard would cut ties faster and with less reluctance.

Ashley's religion: Her specific religion is not specified anywhere in canon. However, she has some well defined beliefs (god and an afterlife from whence dead people - her father - can watch her). She also talks about the beauty of the universe as a reason for her beliefs (a tired old argument I'm sure many of you have heard too). Using the old and reliable method of 'if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... then it probably is a duck,' my conclusion is that she's very likely to be a christian. But it's not much more than a detail in this story.

Some speculations about quarian life and culture:  
Let's start with some low level statistics. With a population of seventeen million quarians living on fifty thousand ships, one comes up with close to 300 quarians per ship on average. There must be many more small ships than large ones (like the Rayya, which is a liveship – involved in food production). With all quarians having to undergo pilgrimage at some point in their life, and assuming a steady state population and a life expectancy of one hundred and fifty years, you come up with an average of about three hundred quarians leaving for (and returning from) their pilgrimage every day, on average. That's a fair amount of traffic. Assuming an average pilgrimage duration of six months would mean that close to sixty thousand quarians are on pilgrimage at any given time (the number would be higher if the average pilgrimage duration was longer). On a ship like the Rayya, assuming a population of one hundred thousand, there would be approximately two pilgrims departing and returning each and every day. That would mean that the captain of the Rayya would have to greet two returning quarians each and every day, each time having to decide if the applicant is worthy or not, etc… On a smaller ship with a crew of two hundred, there would be only one to two applicant(s) per year, so the captain would have a much less busy 'official' schedule. That probably means that larger ship would require more people doing administrative duties (aka civil servants) since the captain would have to delegate some of his functions.  
The pilgrimage is an absolutely central part of quarian life. I would expect most young quarians to be, from their very first day, absolutely obsessed by their upcoming pilgrimage. For a present day north-american, something vaguely similar would be the 'prom' (its a very imperfect comparison - I can't come up with something that truly compares - as the importance of the pilgrimage plus the stress it must be inducing would be orders of magnitude higher for quarians compared to north-americans and their 'prom'). The young quarians' attitude toward it would likely span the entire spectrum from the very positive (bold, ambitious personality, eager to prove one's worth) to the very negative (anxious personality, eager to get it over with). As Tali explains in the game, quarians receive lessons, implants (and more), and are well prepared for their adventure when the time comes.  
I would expect the pilgrimage to be - potentially - a very transformative period for a quarian: it's when all he/she has learned and all he/she believes in gets tested by the outside world. Most will probably choose to stick with the security of what they know and believe, and eventually return to the safety of the womb (the Flotilla). Others will return to the Flotilla as changed, stronger persons. A few (as Tali says in the game) will never return, and will instead seek elsewhere for a better life; that's the selfish option. That's why I think Tali must be having doubts and questions during her pilgrimage. Tali is obviously one of those who will eventually return home as a stronger person. As all talimancers know from the game, her transformation in ME1 is just the start of a long process that will continue in ME2 and ME3 when she finally overcomes her deepest beliefs/fears about the geth and her own people.  
Bureau of Pilgrimage: However decentralized the decisional/executive power may be among all the ships of the Flotilla, it is possible that some sort of administrative infrastructure would be in place to improve the efficiency of the pilgrimage. This infrastructure could be a loose affiliation of local individuals on each ship, working together to coordinate pilgrim's information, transportation to and from the Flotilla, and to keep track of the pilgrims' whereabouts. It could also gather and analyze intelligence brought back by pilgrims. These administrative infrastructures would likely be more developed and more formal on larger ships (with more civil servants). Freedom's Progress (Veetor's rescue) is an example of quarians keeping track of pilgrims and the lengths they are ready to go to rescue one of theirs.  
Pilgrimage Reports: Information is vital to the security of the Flotilla (the survival of the quarians). Quarians can get lots of intelligence by tapping the extranet, sending scouts and things like that, but not making any use of the information gathered by pilgrims would be extremely wasteful (foolish!). That could be an essential part of the Flotilla's intelligence services. Just think about it… If there are sixty thousand pilgrims all over the galaxy at any given time, that makes a lot of spies.  
The mystique of the Captain: I'm not the first to think of this, but it is plausible that quarians would attach a great importance to the idea of the Captain. A man or woman of action and decision, the Captain would be the person who leads, protects, provides for, guides and gives purpose to the crew. The personality of a Captain must have a huge impact on the crew of a ship. For example, it may be one of the main factors that would attract returning pilgrims. Once again, this influence is probably more pronounced on smaller ships where the relationship with the Captain would be much closer and personal. One could speculate that, because of the importance of the pilgrimage, there must be a huge amount of fantasizing about one's return to the Flotilla and finding the 'right Captain.' That might even have some naïvely romantic implications, the Captain being viewed as a powerful and desirable mate. That's what I was referring to in this chapter when Tali mentions the 'finding one's captain' narrative and the cheesy jokes about it. I imagine young quarians writing romantic fictions about that and publishing them on the Flotilla's intranet… lol!  
Fleet and Flotilla: I thought it would be nice to integrate references to that movie in this chapter, as a way to explain why Tali has a thing for men of other species. After all, it could be argued that it's canon because it's in the Citadel DLC... In the end however, I decided against. While I thought Tali's part in the Citadel DLC was very funny, with the singing and all, her talk of puberty and sleep-overs kind of disappointed me: I felt the authors ruined another good opportunity to represent her as a mature person and also as an alien (which she definitely is). For one, I have a tough time wrapping my mind around the idea of Tali having a sleepover in her cramped family cubicle on the Rayya, having her parents move out for the occasion (I just don't think her father would have approved)... Also, representing Tali's past life as something even remotely similar to some present day north-american teen (you know, having a pajama party with other girls in her room, including pop corn, chick flicks, etc...) seems a bit strange considering what she says about her family life and her upbringing in ME1: the more I think about it, the less probable it seems. Hey, I'm not saying it's impossible, just that it's stretching things a lot in my opinion. To me, in the end, the Citadel DLC is not much more than a big caricature (candy from Bioware to placate the fans' fury about the endings fiasco in ME3), so the pieces of lore that it may contain are highly suspicious at best.


End file.
